Bridal Shower Question. Advice Please!

nanmarie

Hello all, I was wondering how wrong it would be for my FI to go to the bridal shower with me. It is not a Jack/Jill shower, but I am feeling weird about opening gifts by myself if they are intended for both of us (I feel like we both should be included in the excitement). Is this bad to do? or should I just let it go and open them myself?? Any advice or opinions will be welcomed. TIA!

kathrynhabibti

I don't see anything wrong with it. I think it's nice that he wants to go.

aMrsin09

Have you checked to make sure your FI even want's to go?
 Even I hate attending  Bridal showers (stupids games always spoil it for me).  I can't imagine making my FI suffer through it too.

tpender13

I think it's a little strange. If you're uncomfortable opening presents in front of people (I am too) maybe he is as well. Plus, he'd be the only dude there.

opalsky007

I think it's fine if he wants to be there. But he really might be bored out of his mind. Make sure he's comfortable with it.

The gifts are of course for both of you, but I doubt he cares as much as you do about the kitchen stuff and linens that you usually get at showers.

lauralaur

H would never have been on board with being the only dude in a room full of women, I take it your fi doesn't mind though? I guess I don't really see a problem with it, but, I did go to a shower in July where the groom brought the bride (shower was a surprise) so he just stuck around (shower was at a restaurant) so he could take the bride home afterward and load gifts into the car, and while he wasn't around for most of it, he'd pop in every once in awhile. Well, some people got the bride lingerie, so we had to keep hollering at the groom to get the eff out when we knew a lingerie gift was coming up. Do you think anyone would get you lingerie?

Or, if you're really feeling nervous/self-counscious/uncomfortable about it, you do not HAVE to have a shower.

tenofcups4me

My ex- attended my shower along with my father, brother in law, and uncles. That's the way I've usually seen it so it was what I expected him to do. He had some doubts originally, but later said he had a great time. I've actually always found it weird when the groom wasn't around.

rubyredlucy

I've seen a few FIs come to the very end of bridal showers to say hi to everyone and help load presents into the car, but I don't see anything wrong with him coming earlier to help open presents.  I don't think I'd make him stay for the whole shower, though, as he probably would find it boring.  How does he feel about going?

redheadfsu

If I was having a bridal shower, my FI would attend with me. I don't think it is strange for him to be there.

Edit: Why would a guy care less about the bridal shower gifts? Every guy I know would care as much as the bride about the kitchen/household presents. Er, I almost find it offensive that people think the woman should care more than the man.

brookelynpaisley

I think it would be a little odd, personally. The shower is to celebrate you as a bride. I would think he'd feel awkward as the only sausage-owner. That's just me though. I'd urge you to go and have fun with the girls.

Or, why not just have a co-ed shower?

andy71781

Yeah I think you should have a co-ed shower or just have your FI come say hi at the end.  Its a very girly time and there are no boys allowed typically.

cookiesandwine

I plan on having my FI attend the shower that his aunts are throwing because it will be only his family, mostly to help me remember who's who!  I don't plan on having him attend the shower my family/BMs are throwing since he will probably be bored out of his mind.

PharmacyBride

Talk to the hosts of the party.  FIs family hosted a shower and FI wasn't wanted ... they wanted to get to know me.  (The guys ended up golfing together)

My family expects the guy to be a the shower- whether they are related to him or the girl.  They either want to get to know the guy better- or see their relative they may get to see very often.

I would respect the host's wishes... but if they are ok with it.. it is definitely ok!  FI would have been the only guy.. but a couple people's husbands came with to hang out together in the garage- so they ended up being around here and there (mostly when the food was served).

It is much easier to open presents with someone next to you... as someone who has been to a shower with and without FI... so I can totally see why you want him there.

nanmarie

Thank you all for the input! I am going to talk to FI about him coming. He does usually like doing things like this together, but I wanted some opinions first! Thanks again!

Beachy730

Whats normally done in your area?  I've never seen a guy come to the whole shower, but in my area they always show up at the end with flowers, and to help load the gifts into the car.  H went shopping with his BM during my shower, and it went so fast that by the time they got there it was already over and half the people left.  But his BM came with them since they were so late so we had extra help loading the car.

I think it depends on the type of shower you are having, and what will take place there.  if its girly games and get to know the bride type games, then I would think it would be wierd to have him there.  Personally I think it would be wierd regarldess since I've never seen it.  But what if you have him show up at a certain time, and try to organize it so that he gets there when you start opening gifts, or during it.  Maybe you can have a friend text him when the food part is wrapping up or something to give him a heads up. 

kellyjellybelly

My H came to our shower.  I think almost all of the showers I have been to in the past few years, the FI has been there the whole time.  That really just might be something my group does though, I'm not sure.  

We also don't do silly games and stuff either, so I guess it depends.

I say, if he wants to go, I don't see anything wrong with that.  

Kristin789

First, if it's a BRIDAL shower, then all the gifts will be personal for YOU, the bride.
If it's a WEDDING shower, then the gifts will be for the couple to set up their new home - mostly from the registry.

It would be less horrific for your FI to go to a WEDDING shower than a BRIDAL shower, which is what you asked about.

But either way, in my area, the FI does not go to either kind of shower.  The shower is a time for the girls to get together and talk about weddings and making the transition from single to married, and the things that typically go wrong in the first year and how to prevent some of those things and how to get through the rest, and other pre-marriage/being married things for the bride.  So it would be really really weird for the groom to be in the same room when these topics come up to help the bride...

banana468

I've never attended a bridal shower where the gifts were for the bride only.  The couple registers together and they use the gifts together.

kellyjellybelly

Oh banana, you're soooo newfangled.  I have been barefoot in the kitchen, cooking and cleaning with a baby on my hip ever since the day my father paid for all those folks to attend my wedding.  I learned I was supposed to do this at my bridal shower - you know, the advice-giving portion.