etiquette with wedding pics going on Facebook

TheNick

Hi Everyone-
I know that a lot of people have facebook, but my fiance and I  don't have it and we're not big fans of it. I am worried that some of my guests will put pictures of our wedding on Facebook and I DON'T want this. One of the reasons is that I don't want people's feeling being hurt if they weren't invited and they saw it on FB. Another reason is that I am a pretty private person when it comes to FB.
Do I have the right to ask my guests not to post any pictures to FB in the wedding program?
Thanks for your help with this one gals!

J&K10910

I don't think there's much you can do.  As far as feelings being hurt...I see wedding photos on Facebook all the time that I'm not invited to, and it doesn't bother me one bit.  Especially if it's people posting the photos that weren't the B&G.

crfische

Welcome to 2012. You just have to deal with it. I get trying to be nice to people who weren't invited, but yeah. There's no way to make sure that NO ONE posts pictures of your wedding, and it's a bit absurd to think that you can.

ZombieNates

Unless the pictures saying something like, "HEY LOSERS. Check out the awesome wedding you fvckfaces weren't invited to. In yo face. Bitches." I don't see how it's rude.

StephBeanWed61502

I have seen plenty of people's wedding photos (posted by guests and by the B and G themselves) on Facebook and I have never felt hurt about not being invited. Unless you did something really messed up like exclude a sibling from the guest list for no justifiable reason, there's really nothing to worry about. As for asking people not to post pics, I don't think there's a polite way to do that. I mean, they're posting their own pics that they took with their own camera - you don't get a say in what people do with their own personal property.

Mrs.B6302007

I can see where you're coming from about the privacy, but the reality is the owners of the pictures can do with them whatever they want.

ricksang

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-wedding-pics-going-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3d4fbbd1-2949-4ba9-9bbb-341660b1b860Post:fce8fc7c-7eaa-4f8b-875e-58022ebc3451">etiquette with wedding pics going on Facebook</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi Everyone- I know that a lot of people have facebook, but my fiance and I  don't have it and we're not big fans of it. I am worried that some of my guests will put pictures of our wedding on Facebook and I DON'T want this. One of the reasons is that I don't want people's feeling being hurt if they weren't invited and they saw it on FB. Another reason is that I am a pretty private person when it comes to FB. Do I have the right to ask my guests not to post any pictures to FB in the wedding program? Thanks for your help with this one gals!
Posted by TheNick[/QUOTE]
You can ask but I think it's kind of rude to do so.

TheNick

thank you everyone for your help with this one! Enjoy your weekend!

avsfan33

FI's cousin threw a fit about one picture being on FB that she wasn't even in. It ended up causing a lot of problems with her ILs. But she also demanded everyone hand over their cameras before they left so she could have the pictures first. She's a little bit nutty.

crfische

I just...I don't know...WHO DOES THAT!?


Psychos, that's who.

Steph0871

Obviously the answer is to have bouncers to make sure no one has any cameras at your wedding at all.  Don't want them showing any friends their photo albums either.

Seriously though. These guests of yours traveled, paid money, and gave up a day (or more) to celebrate your wedding with you.  It's as much a memory of theirs, and they have the right to share that too.  If you really don't want anyone taking pictures or posting them, don't invite anyone to your wedding.

PetalPockets2012

I hate it when people post pictures that are obviously not the most flattering.

But really, like OPs said, you can't really ask them not to. It's not really a big deal. I actually like being able to look through old friends' pictures. It doesn't offend me that I wasn't invited.

[Deleted User]

If you aren't on FB, then it's not likely you could even verify or enforce that people have not posted pictures.  The internet makes it an easy place to share pictures. 

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-wedding-pics-going-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3d4fbbd1-2949-4ba9-9bbb-341660b1b860Post:5ab2f2d2-2ef6-4cff-9da2-0741ca765a0a">Re: etiquette with wedding pics going on Facebook</a>:
[QUOTE]FI's cousin threw a fit about one picture being on FB that she wasn't even in. It ended up causing a lot of problems with her ILs. But she also demanded everyone hand over their cameras before they left so she could have the pictures first. She's a little bit nutty.
Posted by avsfan33[/QUOTE]
Biitch would have a fight on her hands if she tried to do that to me. WTF.

avsfan33

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-wedding-pics-going-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3d4fbbd1-2949-4ba9-9bbb-341660b1b860Post:9ec72490-fcf9-48ab-9f9f-e45e1efd130f">Re: etiquette with wedding pics going on Facebook</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: etiquette with wedding pics going on Facebook : Biitch would have a fight on her hands if she tried to do that to me. WTF.
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

Same. I was really happy we didn't go. I would've lost it. The fight ended up all over FB. It was like watching a train wreck. Apparently they still don't get along.

She flipped out on my MIL because she wasn't going to give her, her camera right away. She was in the middle of getting ready to move and it was the last thing on her mind. She said she'd send the pictures when she got settled. She completely lost it on my MIL until she handed over the camera.

Snippylynn

Psyyyyyyyyyyyyyychooooooooooo

mollyehren

I would maybe setup a flickr account and maybe have a card on the tables that directs people to post their pictures to flickr. That way you get the photos but decrease the cost that they will be posted on facebook.

avsfan33

Agreed.

MyNameIsNot

There's really nothing you can do.  FB really doesn't change the rules.  Think about a wedding pre-digital pictures.  Would you have asked guests not to show their photos from the wedding to their friends or family?

hbatchel2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-wedding-pics-going-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3d4fbbd1-2949-4ba9-9bbb-341660b1b860Post:216cd4bb-3011-49dc-a461-dfb27b43d8a6">Re: etiquette with wedding pics going on Facebook</a>:
[QUOTE]I would maybe setup a flickr account and maybe have a card on the tables that directs people to post their pictures to flickr. That way you get the photos but decrease the cost that they will be posted on facebook.
Posted by mollyehren[/QUOTE]

We had a photoshare site and cards on the cake table and put into thank yous with directions. 3 people out of 170 did it, and one of them was my MIL. There were plenty still posted to facebook, so  that won't help.

SarahPLiz

If you don't have FB, then how would you really know? they can't tag you so it can't be traced back to you by strangers. Ignorance is bliss. Don't worry about it. 

rebarobert2012

I don't think that there's much you can do about it, honestly.  I guess you could make an announcement at the reception, but honestly, I think that would be pretty rude, and I think it would put a lot of people off.  People who want to put the pictures on FB are going to do so.

cindyn9178

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-wedding-pics-going-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3d4fbbd1-2949-4ba9-9bbb-341660b1b860Post:7bfa3d70-8657-46c6-8be5-66fa808d2cfd">Re: etiquette with wedding pics going on Facebook</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: etiquette with wedding pics going on Facebook : We had a photo share site like that and cards on the guest book table with instructions.  <strong>One person out of 125 used it. It was my mom</strong>.  Everyone else uploaded pics to Facebook or emailed them to us. OP, you can't control this so don't worry about it.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

Out of 125 people, NOBODY used our photoshare site. All the pics were shared on Facebook.

I'm thinking if you are that concerned about people on Facebook getting upset they weren't invited, then you must feel guilty for not inviting someone. I have plenty of friends on Facebook who were not invited to our wedding, but I could've cared less if they saw our photos, because I didn't feel guilty about not inviting them, and they wouldn't have expected to be invited.

sjgamble

We did the photocard thing for Photobucket and a good number of people used it but alas...the majority posted photos on facebook.

I understand why people don't like it but the people who aren't on it need to understand why people who are in like the idea of sharing the photos. 

But like another poster said it sounds like you have a guilty conscience.

I can see asking people not to post photos of you bachelorette party but your wedding is sort of fair game unless you're a celeb. lol

brena328

No matter how hard you try, the pictures are bound to end up on FB. But I'm looking at it this way - those who do take pictures are getting a different perspective. I know that there are bound to be moments that our photographer is going to miss, at least with FB, I'll get to see things I might have missed

mach10ski

I dont think its rude at all to post wedding pictures. Yes some people may be hurt that they did not go but im sure they will get over it. If you are always trying to please others than your wedding will be much more stressful then it already is. 

connellk77

I am recently engaged and didn't want my news shared on Facebook.   Unfortunately, unless you tell every person specifically that you don't want pics on Facebook, that is the only way that they probably won't post anything.    I waited a long time for this special time and didn't want to post something on a social network to spread my special news.  I wanted to share with my close friends and family personally.   I had to tell 3 people to take posts down, which they did immediately.  

Congratulations!!

beckyboo27

You COULD pull a Kim Kardashian and demand no outside cameras at your wedding. That way no one will have any photographs of your day except your photog.

I'm TOTALLY kidding. PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!!

Unless they are pictures of you and your husband doing innapropriate things at your wedding (ie: wedding night) you have no control over who posts pictures. 

micheleverde

Maybe I was a brat, but my husband and I had an intimate wedding and not all of our uncles, cousins etc were invited. We did not want anyone to be offended that our budget did not allow for them to join us. We also did not want to have our wedding be Facebook fodder.

We asked friends and family to kindly not post photos of the wedding ceremony on Facebook on a case by case basis after the wedding. Reception photos, we thought were fair game. Our friends and family respected our wishes and we did not see any ceremony photos on any Facebook walls.

If it matters to you, you can always ask your officiant to ask that guests stow their cameras during the ceremony. I heard that at a friend's wedding and it was nice to just be a part of the moment. After all, that's what the photographer is for

I wish we had done that - during our walk down the aisle as husband and wife, the photo is filled with a ton of cameras and phones, not faces! I would have loved to have had a photo of us and our guests instead!