Just wanted to say thanks for those who helped in my previous post (see link) - especially to RetreadBride b/c she helped me to know what to say. I called FMIL today and asked to come talk to her in person, she said that was ok. So I drove over this afternoon and we talked woman to woman for about an hour and had a really good chat - there were no hard feelings. I thanked FMIL for wanting to throw me a shower, but also explained that I would be uncomfortable receiving gifts at the shower from ladies who are not invited to the wedding. She understood my side and didn't seem hurt by it, although disappointed.
So in the end, she decided not to do a bridal shower afterall and just focus on helping out with the RD. Awesome! I told her it's totally up to her b/c she doesn't
have to do anything and I'm ok with whatever she wants to offer. Everything is resovled now and I'm so glad we worked it out b/c we've never really "clicked" with each other, although we've managed to stay civil (most of the time lol).
I told her I would help her find a dress b/c she really wants me to go with her, so we talked about that too. It was a nice bonding experience, so I'm very grateful that we worked it out!
http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fmil-bridal-shower-vent-website-referrals-needed-please