Are FFF's juvenile? Poll...

ac_in_dc

So Ms. Fish said something in the annoying pooh thread that got me thinking (I've been thinking about it for a while actually) and I was curious what the group consensus was on it. Do you think it's passive aggressive to call someone out in an FFF? Is it only OK if the poster is definitely on-line?

I'm not sure...I never really thought about it 'til I had experience calling someone out in an FFF when they weren't around, and I got some shiit for it. Then fishy's comment made me think that maybe some folks think that calling someone out in an FFF is poor form regardless. What do you think?

danieliza1127

I think it's a good way of getting frustrations and annoyances out without really having to go head to head with the person you're talking about. 

I don't really see any way to ensure that the person you're talking about is online or not, and I don't really think it matters if they are or not.  The whole point of FFF is that the person shouldn't be trying to get all defensive anyway, so I don't see what it matters.

FWIW, ring_pop and I also read the FFF threads to be sure nothing is going over board.

kikibaby

It's both passive-agressive and immature.  But it's entertaining, and I think 95% of people who are called out in FFF already know it's coming (my immediate thought after I got into it with ricks was 'ah, shiit, I'm gonna hear about this in FFF').  I think it's a good way for people to let out what's bugging them. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I don't think it's cool to air a personal beef you have with someone *unless* it's an FFF or it is related to the topic at hand (you are both commenting in a post, they really get on your nerves, I think it's okay to say, "You know, I'm becoming annoyed at these types of responses you give.") I mean, to me, that's the point of FFF. To get things off your chest that you might otherwise keep to yourself for the sake of harmony/not sounding like a total beyotch all the time.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

And FWIW, I know a lot of regs don't read FFF because they may not necessarily want to get involved with all the personal drama on the board. The drama isn't the reason everyone likes to post here.

eastunder1

Of COURSE it's immature and passive agressive.  A chance to put down anyone and anything you want with no accountability for your actions?  How could anyone argue otherwise?

That doesn't mean its not entertaining. 

kate51485

First of all Fishy's post was so mild that if it's got people riled up, that is just silly. 

I do think that for more heated comments, keeping the airing of grievances to FFF keeps it from being a total bitchfest on here all the time. 

crfische

I'll do call outs in FFF, but I don't save it up for it. If I'm thinking something on a Tuesday, I dont think I need to wait until Friday to grow a pair and say what's on my mind, nor do I think I should have to.There arent many posters that really, really bug me and typically it's not POSTERS that bug me, it's individual things they do that bug me.

I can separate the two. Like, I can call Kiki out in an FFF, but I still like HER, ya know?

People can get annoyed with my ass and tell me on a Wednesday and not wait until Friday. If you think something, say it, dammit.

And they are entertaining, so there's that.

kikibaby

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fffs-juvenile-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3e001ddd-d02c-4884-9508-5d7257d45c70Post:b0cfd25e-c668-4ced-9c82-9f352a3026a0">Re: Are FFF's juvenile? Poll...</a>:
[QUOTE]First of all Fishy's post was so mild that if it's got people riled up, that is just silly.  I do think that for more heated comments, keeping the airing of grievances to FFF keeps it from being a total bitchfest on here all the time. 
Posted by kate51485[/QUOTE]

No kidding. Fish calling Pooh annoying was NOTHING.  Literally, nothing.  It's almost like a rite of passage to get called out on (P&)E anyway.

FutureMrsTR

I'm just so excited that TK is working for me for the first time in hours!  I feel all puppies & rainbows!   I promise to never be annoyed by anyone again as long as TK will just freakin' work*

* I reserve the right to retract this promise at any time.

ac_in_dc

Wow, I guess my post took...TK froze on me when I was writing this and this is the first time I've been able to get back on.

Naah, I wasn't riled at all by Fish's post at all. I was just curious what other folks thought.

But I guess it's not that complicated--something can be immature and passive-aggressive at the same time as it's highly entertaining. That's probably what brought me to [P &]E to being with

laurenclaire1386

Like Dani, Kate, and Mery, I think FFF is a good place to get stuff out, should you feel the need to do so. And if posters have a moral problem with FFF, they're pretty easy to avoid. I mean, it comes once a week and the thread is usually titled FFF. It's just like any other post: if you don't like the content or don't want to participate, then don't.

wadingmoose

I like FFF.  I have no problem with people calling others out outside of FFF either.

I don't get the uproar about whether or not someone is online.  I've been called out while online and while offline and either way, it doesn't really matter.  Say what you need to say, when you need to say it.  Chances are the person will see it when they're online or they'll have someone notify them.

kate51485

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fffs-juvenile-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3e001ddd-d02c-4884-9508-5d7257d45c70Post:f3317cff-eeb2-46a0-8ea7-cebead1cb45b">Re: Are FFF's juvenile? Poll...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'll do call outs in FFF, but I don't save it up for it. If I'm thinking something on a Tuesday, I dont think I need to wait until Friday to grow a pair and say what's on my mind, nor do I think I should have to.Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

Agreed.  We're all grown ups.  But, for people who are out to be vicious, or who have less taste and restraint, I think FFF is probably the best place for them. 

crfische

Awww!! I'm reading between the lines and hearing you say that I have taste and restraint. Gracias! That's a first!

baby green bird

BUT, i still think it is poor form to trash someone's looks, weight, wedding attire and fi. we have to have some manners and good will.

mocha beans

I have no problems with FFF.  It's not like people are whispering behind backs about things; I guess PM's would be the board equivalent.  It's right there for people to see, either right then or when they get online next.  I don't see why it matters if the person is online or not.

I never really have anything to say to participate, but I do enjoy reading them.  It's a great way to blow off steam so it's not all pent up for those who are less apt to pust a whole call-out thread.  If I had a beef with someone, that's probably where I'd put it anyway, cause chances are it's not really worth starting a whole thread to me.

Nebb

I think its fine any time, but it is more fun during FFF because you generally learn more about that person because more people are contributing what theyve seen. You also end up getting links to back story. I think in the end, it doesnt matter. If you dont want to be flamed dont say stupid shiit, this counts for me too.

missy68

How is it helpful to find out you annoy someone but that person can't explain why? Or, why you irritate someone, but they don't know why?  Does that give you an opportunity to do something different, if indeed there's something you can do to change it?
No, it doesn't.  That's what frustrates the shiit out of me about it. Hearing something like "person XXX annoys me because they tell me how to make a watch when I only wanted to know what time it was." Otherwise, you're left wondering WTF you did/said.

SwedishChick2011

Missy, you're pretty much awesome.

Nebb

Its not necessary to explain your reasoning behind every thought and opinion you have on here. If you know you annoy someone, think about things youve said or done that might have done it and dont do it again! If that doesnt work, just steer clear of the person or ignore them in future. Its quite simple.

crfische

See Coco, I don't agree with what Missy said, but I still find her awesome.

BUT, FWIW, I said what Pooh did that bugged me.

jasmineh7777

I don't usually see a lot of passive aggressive around here.
Personally, I don't usually say much because I don't want to make someone else  feel bad. I'm  fine with people disgreeing w/ opinions, but I agree that comments about appearnce, etc. are better left unsaid.
FFF is entertaining, but I am usually just as entertained by threads about controversial topics. I'd rather know where a comment is comingfrom.

wadingmoose

There isn't always a concrete reason why someone rubs you the wrong way.  They just do.

vallyhoo

This is how I see it, in an office setting:
There is someone who sits in an adjacent cubicle who either smacks their gum constantly/plays their music loudly/'borrows' your belongings without returning them and this grates on your nerves.

There are a few ways of dealing with this person...
1. Tell them the FIRST time that you don't appreciate what they did/are doing (ex. be  P2)
2. Wait until they've done it for a while and then approach them and say that you'd appreciate if you stopped their repeated behaviors (i.e. save it for an FFF)
3. Never say anything and one day burn down the building (ex: Milton)

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Missy, while I respect that opinion for sure, FFF isn't exactly about constructive criticism.