Pre-Reception Gathering

Ryan&Jill2012

Our wedding ceremony is going to be held in a Catholic Church at 2:30 on a Saturday.  This is the latest time that the church would permit (they need the church to be ready for evening Mass).  The earliest we can have cocktail hour at our reception venue is at 6:00.  Since there is such a gap between the two, my Mom would like to have a gathering at my parents house (my aunts will open up the house and handle hosting duties).  We have many out of town relatives and friends who will be staying at a local hotel so they may want to go there to relax prior to the reception. 

Now, we live in RI and around here if you are going somewhere that is more than twenty minutes away people jokingly say that you "need to pack a lunch."  This being said we have some older relatives will be coming from about a half an hour away and it wouldn't make sense for them to go home them travel back to the reception site which is only about fifteen minutes away from the ceremony.  This is why my Mom would like to have some light refreshments for people who are in from out of town or are making it a day trip. 

I'm not worried about our close friends who will be attending.  I will be putting suggestions regarding bars and coffee shops on our wedidng website.  The gathering is more geared towards out of towners/elderly relatives. 

So with all of this info I was wondering if any of you have suggestions for how to word the information.  I am planning to put an insert in certain invitations. 

Thanks in advance for any ideas you may have!

brandichamberlain

IMO, If you're going to do a gathering, you need to invite all of the guests.  It gives a tiered reception feel if you only invite some and not all. 

coopsbaby

I had a similar problem the first time I got married. My parents hosted drinks and snacks at their house between time. We spread the info by word of mouth. The only thing I would change about yours is to make it for everyone, not just certain guests. Every guest should be invited to everything.

DramaGeek

Yup, make it for everyone.

Personally, I'd want to be all apologetic about the gap, but that would be the wrong way to go, I think, and I commend you for hosting something in between.  So many people come on here and don't understand why it's not ok to expect their guests to entertain themselves for hours between the ceremony and reception.

I've never actually seen a reception card - everyone here just puts "Reception immediately following" on the invitation itself - but I would imagine something like

Please join our families for refreshments

4-6 pm

Address

Dinner and dancing will follow

6pm

Address

should do the job (but, you know, more formal than that)

ghowlett

I agree to open it to everyone & I'd be willing to be only your OOT guests will show up anyway.  I live in RI & have been to a couple of weddings with gaps.  I (& everyone else I knew at those weddings) used that time to go home & change from church clothes to wedding clothes.

LeiselEB

We had a gap as well and hosted a similar event at my parents house. We didn't include inserts but spread the information via word of mouth. All of my out of town family came, as well as many in town friends. H's family hosted something for their side of the invites and let it spread via word of mouth as well. I don't think you need an insert, and that word of mouth should suffice, but if you do an insert you should include it in all invites.

HandBanana

My MIL hosted, she lives only a few blocks from our church. Her best friends, amazing women, actually did most of the hosting so she didn't have to leave the church right away and she didn't have to miss any of the reception. I did the invites by word of mouth, email, and my wedding website. My "wedding website" was just a map I set up on weddingmapper.com and sent to everyone. My mom's cousins stopped by with her kids and a lot of oot guests. We sent my MIL a huge bouquet of flowers with a bottle of wine the morning of to thank her, she still talks about it. Just repeating what everyone said about inviting all your guests.

TheSlowskys

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pre-reception-gathering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3e79f58e-3867-4e20-9056-bba383c763e7Post:5b14a889-f917-401b-8fd4-e88e69160e46">Re: Pre-Reception Gathering</a>:
[QUOTE]Yup, make it for everyone. Personally, I'd want to be all apologetic about the gap, but that would be the wrong way to go, I think, and I commend you for hosting something in between.  So many people come on here and don't understand why it's not ok to expect their guests to entertain themselves for hours between the ceremony and reception. I've never actually seen a reception card - everyone here just puts "Reception immediately following" on the invitation itself - but I would imagine something like Please join our families for refreshments 4-6 pm Address Dinner and dancing will follow 6pm Address should do the job (but, you know, more formal than that)
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

I might not include it on the invite, since it isnt really part of the wedding.  To me, if I saw it on the invite, I would feel rude not to go.  What about including it just on your website and calling older guests who might not visit the site?

You could also add a note on the back of your programs to the effect of "light refreshments served at Aunt X's house. 123 Main Street. 3-5:30 pm."

Ryan&Jill2012

Thanks for the advice ladies! Putting the info on our wedding website and the programs as well as spreading it by word of mouth sounds like a better way to go, especially since the invites are ready to be mailed!