Military Wedding Woe?

x51Ntheticx

My husband to be has friends that are in the military (different branches) and they're going to be in the wedding party. Is it awful to think that if they're in their dress uniforms, it'll look tacky? I've got a color theme picked out, and I really don't want them to clash. Is it weird to have all the bridesmaids and groomsmen to match, and then have different military uniforms in your wedding party?

I love my future husband, his friends, and our country, I just think it'll look ridiculous.

acaponi87

I wouldn't worry about it. Guys look hot/professional/sharp in their dress uniforms so no one will worry be focusing on it "clashing".

Honestly I wouldn't bring this up to them. It's petty and kind of disrespectful.

OliveOilsMom

I don't think it will clash at all.  Many times BM will wear different dresses, but still coordinate together.  You could minimize your fears by having your BM wear different dresses as well.  No one remembers what the WP wears, so I don't think anyone will notice.

Maggie0829

Since your wedding is not a military event you have every right to ask them to wear a tuxedo. 

I honestly think of military personnel assuming that they can wear their dress uniforms in your wedding the same as if your BMs assume that they can wear whatever nice cocktail or evening dress they may have hanging in their closet.  The bride and groom have a say in what the wedding party wears and it is up to you and your FI to decide which direction you want to go.

However, if you do allow them to wear their dress uniforms in no way will they clash or look tacky next to your color scheme.

LetsHikeToday

Tacky that someone is wearing a service uniform? No. 

Edit: Have you even asked if they WANT to wear their service uniform? For some people, it's a sign of pride. So yeah, I kinda think it would be disrespectful to tell them you think it would look tacky.

kmmssg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_military-wedding-woe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3ec3e05e-b52c-4bb4-a5ac-aef983807f18Post:d206cde8-7f27-41a8-8453-33d27521d416">Re: Military Wedding Woe?</a>:
[QUOTE]Since your wedding is not a military event you have every right to ask them to wear a tuxedo.  I<strong> honestly think of military personnel assuming that they can wear their dress uniforms in your wedding the same as if your BMs assume that they can wear whatever nice cocktail or evening dress they may have hanging in their closet.</strong>  The bride and groom have a say in what the wedding party wears and it is up to you and your FI to decide which direction you want to go. However, if you do allow them to wear their dress uniforms in no way will they clash or look tacky next to your color scheme.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I'm a 26 year vet and I completely agree with the bolded part above.  Now, I DO take exception to someone thinking it would look tacky.  Out of place?  Yes, tacky?  Never.</div><div>
</div><div>I (and most of my military friends) believe the uniform should be invited to a civilian event.  IE - I would really like it if you would wear your uniform to my wedding, formal dinner, graduation, etc.  A service member should never just decide that is what they will wear to a civilian function.  While it is permissible, my friends and I have (many times) side eyed a collegue who shows up to a civilian event in uniform.  I have had a couple of collegues over the years who wore it for the attention factor and it was really inappropriate.

</div>

divinemsbee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_military-wedding-woe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3ec3e05e-b52c-4bb4-a5ac-aef983807f18Post:d206cde8-7f27-41a8-8453-33d27521d416">Re: Military Wedding Woe?</a>:
[QUOTE]Since your wedding is not a military event you have every right to ask them to wear a tuxedo.  I honestly think of military personnel assuming that they can wear their dress uniforms in your wedding the same as if your BMs assume that they can wear whatever nice cocktail or evening dress they may have hanging in their closet.  The bride and groom have a say in what the wedding party wears and it is up to you and your FI to decide which direction you want to go. However, if you do allow them to wear their dress uniforms in no way will they clash or look tacky next to your color scheme.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Agree with this all the way. </div><div>
</div><div>Also, there's a poster around here, Kmmsg (I know it's either 2 s's or 2 m's, I'm so sorry if I got it wrong!), who is military and a MOB who has a great line about people who aren't asked wearing military uniforms. They need to be invited to wear them. However, going along with Hike's question, have they already stated that they wish to wear them, or are you borrowing worried where none yet exist? If they've said that they intend to wear them, and they're in the wedding party, then your FI can tell them that you're not doing that kind of wedding, that you guys are intending the GMs to be in tuxes. I don't think it's a matter of clashing or tacky, it would look fine (as we say on MB, the great thing about uniforms is that they match everything!), but if it's not something you want included in your wedding, feel free to say so. </div><div>
</div><div>ETA: It's 2 m's <em>and</em> 2 s's. Duh. And, of course, what she said. </div>

manjermj

I think if your FI isnt in the military then they should wear tuxedos (or whatever your FI will be wearing). If he is also in the military and wearing his uniform then I see no problem with the groomsmen wearing uniforms.
My FI is in the Marines, 2 groomsmen are Marines and 2 are Army and my brother will be in a tuxedo.
Since they will all be mismatched, I told the girls a designer and color and am letting them pick which ever dress they want. I figured it will be the best of both worlds.

LetsHikeToday

Also, does your fiance want them to wear your military uniform? I think it should be your fiance's choice and not yours. 

mandi195

FWIW, there is nothing tacky about a military dress uniform. Will it match your colors? probably not. However, these men and women who served our country should be proud to wear those uniforms, and you should be proud of them as well. I would be honored if my brother chose to wear his dress uniform when he stands beside me on my wedding day. I think it is his choice, personally, as he's earned the right to wear it, and it is every bit as formal as a tux.
That said, if these folks tell you that they will only wear their dress uniforms, I'd just let it go. However, if they are open to wearing a tux, couldn't your FI just nicely ask that they do? While the uniforms may not "match" your color scheme, I promise you nothing will look bad or clashing...

KellyBrian2013

I would never ever ever think a military uniform was "tacky", regardless of whether or not it matched the attire of the rest of the bridal party. And I would side eye the hell out of any bride who demanded they not be worn because they are "tacky" or they don't "fit the vision". But FWIW, a part of me was honestly a little sad that DH's uncle, who is a highly decorated Colonel in the Army, did not wear his uniform to our wedding, though I understand why he may not have.

Summer2011Bride

It is definitely not tacky, and I would never say that to them because that's pretty disrespectful. I do agree that they shouldn't just assume and show up wearing them; however, if they tell you they would really like to wear them, I'd be inclined to say OK (or have your FI say OK). Just my personal opinion but they have earned the right to wear it, it's just as dressy as a tux, and even if it doesn't match your colors, I really don't think it would horribly clash.

PPalacio66

Since your fiance isn't in the military I think that if you don't want them in their uniforms it's your call and I don't think they will be offended. Dress blues are very heavy and sometimes uncomfortable so they might not even mind. My fiance is in the marine corps and he wants his friends who are in different branches to wear their uniforms.  At first I wasn't sure what to do because I didn't want them to all be in different colored uniforms but most of them have the same dark blue almost black looking dress blues. But I've heard that it looks great even if they are from different branches.  So for our wedding the guys who are in the military are going to wear their uniforms and the rest of the groomsmen will be in black tuxes. So if your fiance wants his friends to wear their uniforms you can go that route.  I've also know of a couple (both are in the military) and neither of them or the wedding party will be in uniform. So I say it's up to you but it's defiantly not tacky to have them wear their uniforms.  Come on, what girl doesn't love a man in uniform? Lol.

[Deleted User]

I understand your concern. Talk to your fiance & see what he wants. Also he can talk to the guys to see if they have preference. Who knows, they might like the change of wearing a tux for dressing up. But then again, depending on their military work schedules & deployments, it might be easier to let them wear their dress uniforms instead of having to deal with measurements & picking up/returning tuxes. No matter what way you go, you and your groom will be the center of attention no matter what and your pictures will look great.

Avion22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_military-wedding-woe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3ec3e05e-b52c-4bb4-a5ac-aef983807f18Post:6d67b1ed-6866-4d6c-aa5d-cae6a88d90ab">Re: Military Wedding Woe?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Military Wedding Woe? : I'm a 26 year vet and I completely agree with the bolded part above.  Now, I DO take exception to someone thinking it would look tacky.  Out of place?  Yes, tacky?  Never. I (and most of my military friends) believe the uniform should be invited to a civilian event.  IE - I would really like it if you would wear your uniform to my wedding, formal dinner, graduation, etc.  A service member should never just decide that is what they will wear to a civilian function.  While it is permissible, my friends and I have (many times) side eyed a collegue who shows up to a civilian event in uniform.  I have had a couple of collegues over the years who wore it for the attention factor and it was really inappropriate.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I'm active duty military as well, and I couldn't agree more with this.  It would be really weird for them to assume they could wear their uniforms unless they were specifically asked to.  Just because we're in the military doesn't mean we HAVE to wear our uniform to formal events (I didn't wear my uniform to MY wedding, that's for d*mn sure).    There is nothing wrong with requesting they wear the civilian attire of your groom's choice.    </div><div>
</div><div>However, I agree that if you or the groom WANT for them to wear their uniforms, it will look just fine:-)

</div>

pearlaqua

Unless your GMs are higher-ups in the Boy Scouts of America and insist on wearing their olive shorts and neckerchiefs, there is nothing tacky about a uniform at a wedding.

cwaggoner07

I'm a civilian, and don't have ties to the military, but I think it is weird if only 1 or 2 GM are wearing their uniform, and the groom is a civilian.
Ultimately, I wouldn't worry about the matching, and it's totally up to your FI.

One time I saw a wedding where everyone was in a tux including the groom, except one GM in his dress blues, and I just thought it looked strange.

theelusive1

Well after 23 years in the ARMY my husband retired and went to work helping soldiers. So being very country proud  in our house we take offense to the tacky statement.  Maybe you should tell the men they will look tacky in their uniforms at your wedding and see how many will show up.  Is your FH military too? I am sure he is beaming with pride to have his friends defend your right to say they are tacky.  That being said my daughter was heart broken her dad retired and thought he could not wear his uniform to walk her down the aisle.  You should have seen the look on her face when she found out he could still wear his uniform being retired.   Rethink your statement.