Wedding Etiquette Forum

Quick annoying email vent

So, FI and I have been together for 9 years now, and engaged for 7 months.  We haven't set the date yet, but want to set it for summer 2013.  (If it matters--we're both 25 years old)

My Dad took a really long time taking our relationship seriously.  Only after about 4 years did he even make an attempt to meet my FI when he came into town (Dad lives in another state).  

Lately my Dad and FI seem to be getting along well.  My Dad sat with just my FI at my graduation last month.  Dad invited FI on our family cruise last month.  

My Dad just sent out a mass email to a group of co-workers, friends, maybe family members, I'm not sure who they all were (he sent it to me too).

He emailed a picture he took at my graduation of me wearing my cap and gown, and my FI.

He captioned the photo "Rachel (my youngest) and friend at her graduation"

FRIEND?

Holy crap.  I would almost understand if he were just my boyfriend.  When you say boyfriend to people who don't know me, to them it could just mean some guy I'm dating, and I would understand if my Dad didn't want to mention it.  But he's my fiance.  What's wrong with telling people, even coworkers, "Rachel and fiance"

Sorry... I'm just venting.  It really irked me.



SaveSave

Re: Quick annoying email vent

  • That would probably hurt my feelings. I'm sorry!
  • I'd probably be upset about that too.  I am totally not confrontational though, so I would probably stew about it in silence though.
  • Try not to take it too personally...my MIL called me "H's girlfriend" right up until we got married.  I still don't know why.  I do understand how you feel, though.  I was extremely hurt when it kept happening.
    image

    Books read in 2012: 21/50

    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers

  • Yeah... I won't say anything.  Just really annoying.

    I'm hoping it was just one of those totally thoughtless moments for my Dad and doesn't mean that he still doesn't take us seriously.  Hopefully when we finally start putting deposits down, it'll become more real to him.

    SaveSave
  • Are you close to your dad?  
     
    I wonder if it's hard for him to think of you being a woman (even at 25).
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Not really, no.  My Dad has always lived either across the country or across the world from me.  

    I'm sure it has something to do with the whole can't-believe-I'm-growing-up thing... but it's getting to the point where it's not really understandable anymore, but just kinda rude.  




    SaveSave
  • That's lame.  I'd be pissed too!  I'd probably say something, but that's me.  Something like, "Dad, you remember he's my fiance right?  Just wanted to check since you referred to FI as my 'friend' in that email."  
  • Even though it is pretty trivial, I'd be very annoyed. If it were me, I'd "reply all" to say, "I think Dad meant to say my fiance, not my friend! :)" I'm not saying that's what you should do. That's just an example of my own poor judgment and lack of social skills.

    But yeah, it sucks that happened. Sorry :(
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • My FI's grandma introduces me as his girlfriend. Some people just don't like saying fiance. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_quick-annoying-email-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3ed93a81-eaae-45a4-a071-b555250129edPost:afd55abe-49af-494e-a54e-48f512a5e7f2">Re: Quick annoying email vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]Even though it is pretty trivial, I'd be very annoyed. If it were me, I'd "reply all" to say, "I think Dad meant to say my fiance, not my friend! :)" I'm not saying that's what you should do. That's just an example of my own poor judgment and lack of social skills. But yeah, it sucks that happened. Sorry :(
    Posted by dragonwagon[/QUOTE]

    Although I'm sure a lot of people would say to let it go, I would do this too!!!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Sorry, that is kind of a bummer. 
    I love your sig pic! The cutest ones are always the most trouble. 
  • Thanks, sunny!  That picture was taken of my Heidi the day after I brought her home.  Poor hippo.

    I'm glad to hear that I'm not crazy for being annoyed at what my Dad did.  I'm not going to say anything... but if it happens again I feel like I have to address it to see if something else is going on... 

    SaveSave
  • edited January 2012
    Sorry that it happened to you :( A similar thing happened to me as well, although it was before we were technically engaged (we had been ring shopping!). My FFIL introduced us as "[FI] and his friend" when we had been together 6+ years. I mentioned it to FI in private later, and told him that it had made me uncomfortable with his dad. FI totally understood, but brushed it off saying that his dad just gets shy/nervous. Since we got engaged, it hasn't been an issue (always "and fiancee").

    Maybe mention it to your dad privately, especially if it comes up again.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards