Wedding Etiquette Forum

Jealous coworkers?

Slight issue that needs to be silenced before it blows up...how to do it well - that is the question!
I have worked the past 3 years at a local business with a high turnover. I manage several employees whom I've known for about a year. While we are not the best of friends, we do have a friendly relationship.
When my fiance proposed to me, it was the happiest day of my life. He's my soulmate; i can't imagine my life without him. Little did I know, one of my "work-friends" got engaged on the same day.
 I thought this would be a great opportunity for us to connect on a deeper level and I loved the idea of sharing wedding magazines at work, chitter chattering, etc. However...
There is an intense amount of anger and jealousy being directed my way. These girls are nice to my face, but continuously trash talk my fiance, my wedding and my marriage behind my back. They disapprove of everything it seems. I am "getting married for all the wrong reasons.." "I'm spoiled and overly obsessive.." "my marriage is a sham and isn't going to work out..." The stress of dealing with these girls on a daily basis is driving me crazy, makign me miserable; and the fact of being constantly compared to my coworkers relationship is painful in an of itself: "their relatinoship is so much stronger than yours..."
Question: how do I deal with this without igniting a fury? As a manager, I don't want to ignite a conflict that could disrupt business. I also don't want these conversations and secret battering to continue...any suggestions on dealing with this in an eloquent and professional manner? At this point I'm ready to either cry or hit someone.

Re: Jealous coworkers?

  • It seems weird that you want to be friends with these people, yet you're their manager. If you are their boss, you are not their friend. Professional acquaintance, sure, but don't try to "connect on a deeper level" with any of them. I've had experience with work relationships biting me in the ass before. Keep your work life professional and separate from your personal life. It makes this kind of drama nonexistent.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jealous-coworkers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3f15950b-8e9a-44b6-9622-17831ff40545Post:d9a6bf9a-f612-45f5-8b02-ef5500c5cfec">Re: Jealous coworkers?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, I wonder what is giving the coworkers a reason to say she's "getting married for all the wrong reasons"...Seems like something is missing from this story.
    Posted by Pirata13[/QUOTE]

    I had the same thought. 
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  • NebbNebb member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jealous-coworkers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3f15950b-8e9a-44b6-9622-17831ff40545Post:d9a6bf9a-f612-45f5-8b02-ef5500c5cfec">Re: Jealous coworkers?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, I wonder what is giving the coworkers a reason to say she's "getting married for all the wrong reasons"...Seems like something is missing from this story.
    Posted by Pirata13[/QUOTE]
    Good point!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_jealous-coworkers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3f15950b-8e9a-44b6-9622-17831ff40545Post:d9a6bf9a-f612-45f5-8b02-ef5500c5cfec">Re: Jealous coworkers?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, I wonder what is giving the coworkers a reason to say she's "getting married for all the wrong reasons"...Seems like something is missing from this story.
    Posted by Pirata13[/QUOTE]

    Miss Pirata--Where have you been?  How are ya?
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  • Uhh yeah I agree with fische and laura.

    There was a girl in school with me who did what OP is doing. She tried to talk about wedding stuff and segue to how DH and I went to the same college as her FI and then talk about life. If I wanted to be her friend, I would have talked to her about this stuff before we got engaged. Just because we're going through a life event at the same time doesn't mean we should try to be besties now.
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  • Just ignore them and stop talking about the wedding.

    And the pp's are completely correct, if you are their manager you cannot be their friend. When I was married I had managed about 10 people for the past 3 years, and while we often discussed their relationship issues (when it was affecting work) or what they were doing in school, my life was never discussed and none heard any wedding plans.
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