and guest = plus 4...?

shadakiss

ok, My mother is adopted... However, I have "known" who her biological mother is all of my life... I have not talked to her (at the latest) since 1998.  But being nice I decided I would invite her anyway... she is my grandmother... I also invite a guest to come with her just in case she needed someone to drive her to the wedding...

I received her RSVP back the other day... and this is what it said
M Her name & Family
We Accept with Pleasure
5 London Broil

What the HECK?  I don't even really know this lady! I was just being nice when I invited her... she RSVP's for 5 people? Now the people I actually know and want to be there... can't come because this is a sit down dinner and I can only afford to have a certain amount of people.... OF course, I called my mother, she said that maybe she is trying to connect with me... At my wedding? Where it costs me $30 a head...? I don't know if I should just shut up and eat the unexpected guest or say something to her....? If she was just a friend or someone I actually knew I would know what to say and how to say to her, she can not bring 3 extra people...

What do you ladies think? Am I over reacting?

Stackeye210

I would call her and let her know that you have only reserved one guest in her honor.  This is her mistake and you shouldn't feel bad about calling her on it.  Do not, not invite people you really want there because of this. 

Night_Sprite

Call her and say that the invitation was only for her and her husband.

Kati0105

Just call and explain to her that you had only reserved 2 seats for her and that unfortunately you will not be able to accommodate the additional 3 guests.

ohwhynot

Yowza.  I'd call her and explain that you can only accommodate her and ONE guest.  I honestly don't know what people are thinking sometimes . . . +4? 

ExpatPumpkin

Actually I think there's a serious hidden benefit here...  Put the five of them at one table by themselves, and you don't have to worry about who to seat them with.

betrothed123

Like everyone else said, it happens.  Call her and politely explain that the invite was meant for her and one guest, not 4 guests.

kikibaby

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-plus-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3f5caedd-64fd-4992-9cf0-f4cf7ead3e02Post:c407bd6c-70f1-4ad3-9639-0811f9f96045">and guest = plus 4...?</a>:
[QUOTE]ok, My mother is adopted... However, I have "known" who her biological mother is all of my life... I have not talked to her (at the latest) since 1998.  But being nice I decided I would invite her anyway... she is my grandmother... I also invite a guest to come with her just in case she needed someone to drive her to the wedding... I received her RSVP back the other day... and this is what it said M Her name & Family We Accept with Pleasure 5 London Broil What the HECK?  I don't even really know this lady! I was just being nice when I invited her... she RSVP's for 5 people? Now the people I actually know and want to be there... can't come because this is a sit down dinner and I can only afford to have a certain amount of people.... OF course, I called my mother, she said that maybe she is trying to connect with me... At my wedding? Where it costs me $30 a head...? <strong>I don't know if I should just shut up and eat the unexpected guest </strong>or say something to her....? If she was just a friend or someone I actually knew I would know what to say and how to say to her, she can not bring 3 extra people... What do you ladies think? Am I over reacting?
Posted by shadakiss[/QUOTE]

I'd eat the unexpected guests- then they won't eat all your food, and you'll have the seats free!  :)

danieliza1127

You need to call her and tell her that the invitation was only for her and 1 guest and that unfortunately, you can't accommodate the 4 extra people. 

If that means she won't come, so be it.

PsyDet 2155

ditto everyone else:  Call and explain due to reception size constraints you can only allow her to bring one guest with her.

Galaxy8227

I agree with PP's.  Tell her the invite was only for her and one guest, that you can't accommodate three additional guests. 

Lyss5782

Can I just say....$30/head for a sit-down dinner??????  I am totally relocating my wedding to Alabama!!!

shadakiss

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-plus-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3f5caedd-64fd-4992-9cf0-f4cf7ead3e02Post:c496a331-245b-4baf-abbc-59026d9439c5">Re: and guest = plus 4...?</a>:
[QUOTE]Can I just say....$30/head for a sit-down dinner??????  I am totally relocating my wedding to Alabama!!!
Posted by Lyss5782[/QUOTE]

Lol.. yeah I did get a great price at a nice location... but $30/head for someone you don't know (but had the opportunity to get to know you).... is way too much! 

Thanks ladies for all of your input... I know what I would have done if she was a friend but being that my mom tried to talk me out of it, kind of made me feel like maybe I was in the wrong! But nope We are right Mom is wrong! lol...