Should I pay?

kwilliams111012

I invited my BMs to get a mani/pedi with my mom and I before the wedding.  Told them it was obviously not "required" in any way - just something fun we could do to relax beforehand.  2 out of 4 can come, which is great!  Now I'm just wondering if I should pay for them.  My inclination is no since it was something I invited them to come along and participate in and not something they had to do.  Is my inclination right?

Kate61487

You're right,  It's always nice if you can treat, but since you made it clear it was optional you're not required to pay.

Peledreamsofrain

Just as they were not required to attend, you are not required to pay.

s-aries8990

You aren't required to pay, but it may be nice if you can swing it.

mcda04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-i-pay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:409f87f0-a189-4927-80d6-16ba73551420Post:e1b92e6e-f5d0-40ef-824e-99b37aa0e997">Should I pay?</a>:
[QUOTE]I invited my BMs to get a mani/pedi with my mom and I before the wedding.  Told them it was obviously not "required" in any way - just something fun we could do to relax beforehand.  2 out of 4 can come, which is great!  Now I'm just wondering if I should pay for them.  My inclination is no since it was something I invited them to come along and participate in and not something they had to do.  Is my inclination right?
Posted by kwilliams111012[/QUOTE]

do you think you BM's possibly assumed you'd be paying? I know i would.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-i-pay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:409f87f0-a189-4927-80d6-16ba73551420Post:49bcb40f-54c7-48cf-9b37-9bb1e65139e1">Re: Should I pay?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a slightly different take on this.  Did you make it clear that you would not be paying?   I know that we say "if you are flexible over style, you don't have to pay" , but I feel like there is a difference between "hey, you guys are free to do whatever you want with your nails, but if you'd like to get them done, then we're going at X day and time" and "hey, I thought it would be a lot of fun to all get our nails done, do you want to go?". One is sort of an answer to a question and the other is more like an invitation to dinner.  If your invite was the former, you're free and clear, but if it was more of the latter, they might not realize they'll be footing their own bill.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I'm on this side.

I invited my BMs to get manis/pedis the day before the wedding, but I paid. I think if you're billing it as a "fun girls' day" it should be hosted. Especially if you're going to a day spa or something nicer than your average 20 minute manicure place.

Both my mom and my MIL had their nails done before they flew out for the wedding. If the BMs want their nails done, they can do it at home or at whatever place they normally go. They don't need you to book an appointment just so they can pay their own way. It's not like hair, where you have to do it the day OF the wedding and make sure the stylist is available. They can do nails on their own a day or two or three before. Or not.