Will the Parents of the Bride and Groom be Expecting Gifts?

waters&mathers

Is it common, typical, expected for the bride and groom to buy their parents gifts?

MrsKathyC

We didn't give our parents gifts, but then again, they had no part in planning or paying for our wedding. Not sure if that would play into it or not.

KellyBrian2013

In Response to Re:Will the Parents of the Bride and Groom be Expecting Gifts?:[QUOTE]We didn't give our parents gifts, but then again, they had no part in planning or paying for our wedding. Not sure if that would play into it or not. Posted by MrsKathyC[/QUOTE]

Parent gifts are for their role in raising you, not for how much they open their wallet for you party. OP we did not give our parents a gift prior to the wedding, but we did let them know that their albums of wedding photos would be on us which seems to be a fairly common gift here on TK.

TheVirginians

This parent is not expecting gifts.

ootmother2

Yes, all 4 parents got gifts

LDubHawksFan

Seriously?!  I asked this 2 days ago and was told that I shouldn't get parent's gifts!

katypeg

My mother specifically told me not to get them gifts.  She said that gifts were supposed to be for the bridal party.  We're still leaning towards getting gifts for our parents, but may instead decide to spend more on them while we're on our honeymoon.

KellyBrian2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_will-the-parents-of-the-bride-and-groom-be-expecting-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:40d0f1f4-a886-4173-82a3-007bb26c4265Post:ea0dfab4-36ad-46a0-bd51-67a494524a31">Re: Will the Parents of the Bride and Groom be Expecting Gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]Seriously?!  I asked this 2 days ago and was told that I shouldn't get parent's gifts!
Posted by lwoehlk[/QUOTE]

I believe you were told that gifts aren't <em>expected</em>. They're not. Gifts should never be expected. But you were also told that many people <strong>do</strong> give their parents gifts, even if it is "just" a hand-written letter and/or a nice frame to display a wedding photo in.

JoanE2012

I couldn't imagine NOT getting my parents a gift.

Avion22

We got each sets of parents a gift card to a nice restaraunt (enough for a nice meal for two with drinks).  Then after the wedding we had albums custom-made for each set of parents (I designed them on Shutterfly -- each set got one with the family pictures from "their side" and featured their friends and their sides of the family -- it was only like $50 each for the albums)

LDubHawksFan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_will-the-parents-of-the-bride-and-groom-be-expecting-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40d0f1f4-a886-4173-82a3-007bb26c4265Post:b4456f4c-d7a7-4a8a-ac7d-694b855d6bdf">Re: Will the Parents of the Bride and Groom be Expecting Gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Will the Parents of the Bride and Groom be Expecting Gifts? : I believe you were told that gifts aren't expected . They're not. Gifts should never be expected. But you were also told that many people do give their parents gifts, even if it is "just" a hand-written letter and/or a nice frame to display a wedding photo in.
Posted by KellyBrian2013[/QUOTE]

No, I asked about whether or not people got their parents a gift period.  I was thinking of doing the traditional album afterwards & notes the day of, but wanted to know if people got their parents something else.  I was told by all but maybe one person that they didn't give gifts, and in fact that some of the MOB/MOG would be offended if their bride & groom did. 
This board clearly asked whether the gifts were <em>expected</em>, and the consensus seems to be that gifts should be given.  Now I'm downright  confused.

ETA: I was still planning on getting them something small and meaningful along with a note on the day of, so it's a good thing I didn't read too much into all of the first responses.  haha

RebeccaB88

I'd never heard of giving your parents gifts until I came here.  I don't know anyone personally who has given them, either.   My mom doesn't even let me get her birthday gifts, so she'd never go for getting something from me for my wedding.

divinemsbee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_will-the-parents-of-the-bride-and-groom-be-expecting-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40d0f1f4-a886-4173-82a3-007bb26c4265Post:9be47e45-8976-42b5-8332-4b382906cab2">Re: Will the Parents of the Bride and Groom be Expecting Gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Will the Parents of the Bride and Groom be Expecting Gifts? : No, I asked about whether or not people got their parents a gift period. <strong> I was thinking of doing the traditional album afterwards & notes the day of, but wanted to know if people got their parents something else.  I was told by all but maybe one person that they didn't give gifts, and in fact that some of the MOB/MOG would be offended if their bride & groom did. </strong> This board clearly asked whether the gifts were expected , and the consensus seems to be that gifts should be given.  Now I'm downright  confused. ETA: I was still planning on getting them something small and meaningful along with a note on the day of, so it's a good thing I didn't read too much into all of the first responses.  haha
Posted by lwoehlk[/QUOTE]

<div>The "mom would be offended" one was me. I am planning to do nice letters as well as making albums and maybe picture frames to my mom, dad, and dad's mom because they all have had such a hand in raising me and helping with the wedding. </div><div>
</div><div>My mom would be unhappy if I spent any money on her. Really unhappy. Especially because we're paying for most of the wedding ourselves. She doesn't really like it when I give her Christmas presents. Her opinion is that since my FI and I are starting out (even though we're not destitute or anything) we shouldn't spend money on her. She had this opinion before I even met FI. Plus, any of those typical MOB gifts like a handkerchief or jewelry would never get used and she'd see them as a waste. So, we're doing the more traditional pics and a letter and then we'll send a gift for Christmas (if we mail it and she can't return it, she eventually does enjoy it).</div><div>
</div><div>My dad, he doesn't really care, I know he'd appreciate the letter more than anything. And my grannie is about to be 90 and is trying to de-clutter, so, there's no use for anything that doesn't have sentimental value (and she's not a horribly sentimental person). </div><div>
</div><div>So, no, I don't think you have to/need to do "gifts." But I do think that a nice thank you letter and either an album or photos in a frame are a great idea to give parents. </div>

KellyBrian2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_will-the-parents-of-the-bride-and-groom-be-expecting-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:40d0f1f4-a886-4173-82a3-007bb26c4265Post:9be47e45-8976-42b5-8332-4b382906cab2">Re: Will the Parents of the Bride and Groom be Expecting Gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Will the Parents of the Bride and Groom be Expecting Gifts? : No, I asked about whether or not people got their parents a gift period.  I was thinking of doing the traditional album afterwards & notes the day of, but wanted to know if people got their parents something else.<strong>  I was told by all but maybe one person that they didn't give gifts, and in fact that some of the MOB/MOG would be offended if their bride & groom did.</strong>  This board clearly asked whether the gifts were expected , and the consensus seems to be that gifts should be given.  Now I'm downright  confused. ETA: I was still planning on getting them something small and meaningful along with a note on the day of, so it's a good thing I didn't read too much into all of the first responses.  haha
Posted by lwoehlk[/QUOTE]

Maybe I'm just tired, but the entire tone of your post pissed me off. I know how to read, thank you, and here is <strong><em>exactly </em></strong>the responses you received on your post (NONE of which say not to give gifts).

<font face="Times New Roman" size="3" color="#000000">  </font><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#1f1f1f;line-height:115%;font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';font-size:8.5pt;">Retread told you that she’d never heard of parent gifts but said “everyone has given their parents some wedding pix”.</span></p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3" color="#000000"> </font><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#1f1f1f;line-height:115%;font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';font-size:8.5pt;">Divine told you “I was already intending to get both of my parents and my grandmother pictures, either in an album or a frame and write a thank you letter.” And then went on to say that it was any gift <em>other than pictures</em> that her mom would have an issue with.</span></p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3" color="#000000"> </font><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#1f1f1f;line-height:115%;font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';font-size:8.5pt;">Jaclyne told you “We made albums for our parents after the wedding and did a gift to all of our parents at the RD.” Gifts in addition to the albums were pins for moms and tie pins for dads.</span></p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3" color="#000000"> </font><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#1f1f1f;line-height:115%;font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';font-size:8.5pt;">Wally told you that her daughter gifted her a nice card with a letter and her husband a letter with an embroidered handkerchief. She did say gifts weren’t necessary, but were appreciated from her daughter.</span></p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3" color="#000000"> </font><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#1f1f1f;line-height:115%;font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';font-size:8.5pt;">Staar told you “I bought a frame that has 2 spots for pictures.” One spot for parents’ wedding photo, one spot for Staar’s wedding photo that, for the time being, has a heartfelt letter.</span></p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3" color="#000000"> </font><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;tab-stops:right 6.5in;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#1f1f1f;line-height:115%;font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';font-size:8.5pt;">Missunshine said she “wouldn't worry about it, but I am planning on getting something small and gestural for my parents”.<span>                </span></span></p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3" color="#000000"> </font>
So, of the six people that responded to your question, ALL OF THEM said they were doing something for their parents (or that something was appreciated) even if it was simply an album or a nice frame, although, no, gifts are not absolutely necessary.

LDubHawksFan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_will-the-parents-of-the-bride-and-groom-be-expecting-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40d0f1f4-a886-4173-82a3-007bb26c4265Post:091fd664-cd65-47f7-a38b-c465c2d5b64f">Re: Will the Parents of the Bride and Groom be Expecting Gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Will the Parents of the Bride and Groom be Expecting Gifts? : Maybe I'm just tired, but the entire tone of your post pissed me off. I know how to read, thank you, and here is exactly the responses you received on your post (NONE of which say not to give gifts).   Retread told you that she’d never heard of parent gifts but said “everyone has given their parents some wedding pix”. Divine told you “I was already intending to get both of my parents and my grandmother pictures, either in an album or a frame and write a thank you letter.” And then went on to say that it was any gift other than pictures that her mom would have an issue with. Jaclyne told you “We made albums for our parents after the wedding and did a gift to all of our parents at the RD.” Gifts in addition to the albums were pins for moms and tie pins for dads. Wally told you that her daughter gifted her a nice card with a letter and her husband a letter with an embroidered handkerchief. She did say gifts weren’t necessary, but were appreciated from her daughter. Staar told you “I bought a frame that has 2 spots for pictures.” One spot for parents’ wedding photo, one spot for Staar’s wedding photo that, for the time being, has a heartfelt letter. Missunshine said she “wouldn't worry about it, but I am planning on getting something small and gestural for my parents”.                 So, of the six people that responded to your question, ALL OF THEM said they were doing something for their parents (or that something was appreciated) even if it was simply an album or a nice frame, although, no, gifts are not absolutely necessary.
Posted by KellyBrian2013[/QUOTE]


Is it just because I said the word "No" that you it pissed you off?  I'm sorry but I wasn't trying to be rude or mean, I was truly confused.  I rarely post on the E-board and the time that I did, I felt like I got conflicting answers.  I know gifts aren't expected, and I didn't ask whether they are, I asked whether people got their parents gifts other than the typical photo album.  I'm done though.  Thank you.

waters&mathers

Wow so many responses! I was thinking about getting my mom and his mom embroidered hankies as well as engraved frames for both sets of parents.  Thanks for all of the responses. Good luck with your weddings