issues w/sending invites

jass1705

in the last 2yrs my fiance and i have overcome a lot. my family loves him, his family on the other hand doesn't exactly love me. his younger sis and i are finally cool but his older sis and stepmom are not- i don't want them there. older sis has tried several times to break us up w/trying to get me to cheat on him w/a guy from the gym (which she is now dating) -told him i had cheated on him w/a girl. the stepmom and i have had issues w/the oldersis but now i find out that they were both lying to me and even worse, stepmom is lying to his dad about it my fiance's relationship w/his dad isn't the greatest but i just don't want any of them there. they aren't nice ppl and unsuportive of us. any help or ideas would be great- my only thought is to just elope(which my family would be devastated by)

J&K10910

Where is your FI in all this?  What does he think?  What does he say when they say/do these things?

dumdumfroggie

Honestly, I'd probably just suck it up and invite them just so my parents could go to the wedding.

However, if you really don't want to, elope.

Has your FI spoken to his sister and mother about this?  What does he say about it?  He needs to be sticking up for you, otherwise you have bigger issues.

jass1705

fh is extremely upset by how the older sis and stepmom are treating/acting towards me when i've never done anything wrong to them. as far as i know he has not talked w/any of them. his way of dealing w/the issues is to not talk to the older sis or stepmom.

J&K10910

They sound dramatic and ridiculous.  I absolutely see it going something like this "Um, that biitch didn't let him invite us to the wedding, let's be even nastier to her!!!!!!!!"

So... I mean, as much as it sucks, I would probably invite them to avoid that drama.  Or just elope completely, like you suggested.  But you and your FI need to be on the same page, whatever you decide.

barrelbabe004

Ya, I'd elope.  But before you do, make sure you and your FI are on the same page about everything BEFORE you get married.

Has he stood up for you? What does he think of his Step mom and sister treating you that way? 

Loopyseven

If you don't invite them, it will probably become all about how awful you are, not about why they aren't invited.  You're probably best to suck it up and invite them.  Regardless of your feelings, at this point you have to assume they'll be at every family function forever, so for the sake of future civility, be the bigger person.

redheadfsu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_issues-wsending-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40ed48bc-c8b4-48f6-9715-a06366202cf2Post:cfbf96ca-57f0-4f3f-855a-d7abe2a23ebe">Re: issues w/sending invites</a>:
[QUOTE]fh is extremely upset by how the older sis and stepmom are treating/acting towards me when i've never done anything wrong to them. as far as i know he has not talked w/any of them. his way of dealing w/the issues is to not talk to the older sis or stepmom.
Posted by jass1705[/QUOTE]

You are about to be his wife. He needs to stand up for you. He needs to tell them to back off & be nice. If your FI can't stand up for you, you have more issues than just his sisters/stepmom. You have a FI problem.

saranandy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_issues-wsending-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40ed48bc-c8b4-48f6-9715-a06366202cf2Post:cebd4166-8997-4fad-b113-c548262b742b">Re: issues w/sending invites</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: issues w/sending invites : You are about to be his wife. He needs to stand up for you. He needs to tell them to back off & be nice. If your FI can't stand up for you, you have more issues than just his sisters/stepmom. You have a FI problem.
Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]

Seconded.