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ANON920

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misssunshine17

Honestly, is this a hill you want to die on?? I have the same sort of struggle and I'm planning on using "together with our families." It sounds like you're not getting emotional support, either, but if you think this would cause strife, it's probably not worth it. I'd suggest letting your father and mother do a welcome toast at the reception. 

arendiva

I'm pretty sure that customarily the Bride's parents were the hosts of weddings and usually their names were the only ones on the invites as hosts. So I don't think it will be perceived as strange that your in-laws aren't listed.

If I were you I might go with the more traditional wording

Mr. and Mrs. Oliver Durand
request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
Sophie Lynn
to
Jeffrey Matthew

I get that you are paying for part of the wedding yourselves but considering the generousity that they are showing I would probably just list your parents as the full hosts if I really wanted to honor their contribution. It's less important for the guests to know that you paid for part of it than it is for them to know that your parents did.

[Deleted User]

My parents are paying for a large part of the wedding, his parents aren't paying for the wedding, we're paying the rest. We decided to go with:

Mr. and Ms. Bride's parents request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
Bride to Groom
Son of Groom's mom and Groom's dad

The fonts are all the same size so my parents aren't specifically emphasized but are being listed as hosts. We felt it honored both parents while acknowleging what my parents are doing for us and we didn't much care that it doesn't have us as hosts as well. I mean, it's our wedding so I feel we should be contributing.

Otherwise, I'd do "Together with their parents" and maybe have your parents make a toast or something - I do think what you have written above does seem like it's alienating the grooms parents specifically and could be taken as spite. I just don't feel that would be worth it.

ETA - grammar fail

emeejeeayen

I do understand the sibling rivalry that can come up when parents pay for something for one sibling but not another. My fiance has 3 younger brothers, and there is constant debate of who the favorite it. The youngest never gets in trouble for anything, the second youngest is allowed to be a bum, the third is given money for whatever he wants, and my fiance often has to suck it up and be the oldest. When I first met him 5 years ago, this was really difficult for him, but I think over time he's come to see that his parents expect him to act responsibly because he's capable of it, and that in many ways they have lower expectations for the others. 

That said, two wrongs don't make a right. Just because your in laws should have tried to keep things fair amongst their children, they didn't, and there's nothing you can do about it. Perhaps your FBIL inappropriately begged and begged for them to pay - who knows. Don't be angry with your in laws, you guys are adults now, and I think it would be a slap in the face to them if you only included your parents on the invite. 

Kate61487

I think the way you have it with your parents and yourselves as hosts does alienate the grooms parents.  Following the traditional format, however, of

Mr & Mrs brides parents
request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
anon to anon's FI

Is not a slight to them.  It is traditional, and true.  The truly traditional format does not include the 'son of' line.  You can of course include it if you want, but you wouldn't have to.

maggieandrey

You can include "united in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony" for the catholic service without mass.

I personally like:

Mr. and Ms. Bride's parents
request the honor of your presence as their daugher
Bride's name
and
Groom's name
son of Parents names
are united in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony

Have you talked to your parents to see if they have any preference on wording?

Calypso1977

traditionally, the grooms parents names never went on invitations.  they were more properly found on the wedding annoucements.

i still see the majority of invites today worded with the traditional wording of the bride's parents hosting even if teh couple pays themselves or the grooms parents contribute something.  i think its kind of silly that so many people get worked up about names on an invite.  eveyrone knows that the parents of both the bride and groom are important and are honored as such simply by their roles as parents - names on an invite (or not) dont change that.

wrigleyville

I'd go with:

Mr. & Mrs. Bride's Parents
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
Bride
to
Groom
son of Mr. & Mrs. Groom's Parents

That's the proper way to acknowledge your parents as the hosts without leaving out his parents. The fact that they aren't paying a dime doesn't mean they aren't hosting, so if the above wording is going to cause ripples, I'd just go with the modern, "Together with their families."

If either set of parents aren't happy with that and want to be named, then you use:

Mr. & Mrs. Bride's Parents
and
Mr. & Mrs. Groom's Parents
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their children
Bride
and
Groom

Jen4948

I really don't get why so many people think who's paying has any impact on who should be listed on the invitation; or why it should make people "furious" or cause "hurt feelings" if they're either not listed or not listed as they would like.

The person/s being "honored" are the guests it is sent to, not the parents or the couple, by asking them to attend the event, and the purpose of the invitation is to notify said guests about the basic logistical information.

Traditional wording does convey that the couple and their families are happy about the wedding and it will be a celebration of love and joy (and if it's a religious ceremony, that the couple are engaging in religious rite of passage), and who is paying for anything is none of the guests' business, so why do these issues keep coming up?

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitation-wording-followed-by-some-venting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4121c151-a8ef-4188-a0df-51f483d10a03Post:da4164a6-6f63-4973-aaaf-50a2519f8a5f">Re: invitation wording, followed by some venting</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you can go traditional: Mr. and Mrs. Bride's parents request the honor of your presence at the wedding of their daughter Beautiful Bride to Mr. Handsome Groom, son of Mr. and Mrs. Groom's Parents Or you can just go together with their families.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

Technically, the OP's wording, with only the names of the bride's parents, is traditional.

But you can certainly list the names of the FI's parents with "son of." That doesn't imply they are hosting at all, it's just additional information.

To imply they were hosting, you'd need to write:

Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents
Mr. and Mrs. Groom's Parents

request the honor of your presence at the wedding of
Bride
and
Groom

beardo1111

<div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitation-wording-followed-by-some-venting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4121c151-a8ef-4188-a0df-51f483d10a03Post:da4164a6-6f63-4973-aaaf-50a2519f8a5f">Re:
invitation wording, followed by some venting</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you can go
traditional: <strong>Mr. and Mrs. Bride's parents request the honor of your
presence at the wedding of their daughter Beautiful Bride to Mr. Handsome Groom,
son of Mr. and Mrs. Groom's Parents</strong> Or you can just go together with
their families.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

This is how we're wording our invites - my parents are paying for about half of the wedding and my fiancee and I will be paying for the other half.  In our case there's no hard feelings about fiancee's family not helping - they really aren't in a position to and there's no precedent of them helping his siblings or anything like that.  But I think this wording acknowledges the bride's parents as hosts, therefore likely helping financially, without snubbing the groom's parents.</div>