Rehearsal dinner

lehilbun

Here is my issue I am having- When my FI and I first talked about the rehearsal dinner with  FMIL we told her this is what we want
1. Nothing fancy- we wanted it to be something fun and casual since the next day we would have to be all dressed up for about 10hrs (and the fact that we just wanted something that was laid back and easy)
2. I would leave alot of the planning up to her just to let me know what she needed from us.

I completely trust my FMILs taste and I know that it will be great but now my wedding day is less than 2 months away and NOTHING for the RD is planned. Also i feel like a big concern is money, which i get but I feel like everytime something is said it comes back to money. I almost feel like i am being put in a weird position because I want to know what is going on but I hate to ask. Am I being crazy/ overly nervous/ stressed? I just think that my dad is spending so much money on the wedding/reception and not saying a word about money and then everytime the RD gets brought up there is always something said about money. I almost fell bad because i dont want to put them in a bind to pay for it.
What should I do???

DramaGeek

Did they offer to pay for it in the first place, or did you guys make an assumption or ask them to do it?

If you asked or assumed, you and your fi put them in an awkward situation and it's no wonder things are weird.  In that case, I think the best thing to do is apologize and plan it (and pay for it) yourself.

If they offered, it would be appropriate to have fi talk to his mom or dad about what the plan is.  Perhaps he could mention that some of the WP are asking as they need to make plans for your wedding weekend and he wasn't sure what to tell them.  If they seem hesitant, it might be good for you two to go ahead and offer to take it off their plate.  It is possible they offered, then fell into a bad place financially but aren't sure how to tell you they can no longer afford to pay for it.

Avion22

Casual RDs are awesome!   At this point, I think you're better off making some suggestions to your FMIL and paying for it yourself.  Pizza and beer, cook out with hamburgers and hotdogs, or even catering from your favorite local mexican or italian restaurant would be awesome (or you could see if those restaurants have party rooms and can do a fixed-price menu for you).  These are all fairly inexpensive options.  

MrsGandthebeag

I don't think this is surprising two months out.  I don't think my in laws planned ours until about 3 weeks before.  

lyndausvi

Did they offer to pay for the RD or did you assume?

Honestly, I would have your FI have a heart to heart with them.  Ask them if they are still able to host/pay for the RD.  If they can't, then just pay for it yourself.

Please, please STOP comparing your dad with them.  People have different thresholds when it comes to money.   Your father could make less, but has been saving for this moment your entire life having more money to handle the wedding.  Or your FIL have the money, just don't want to spend that much for a dinner.    Regardless it's not your place to compare how they are handling.   

On another note.  I had a casual reception.  I planned it about 4 weeks out, I would not stress out too much.

handheld

My parents have offered to pay for ours because my FI and I are paying for the Wedding. Mom made it clear that she wanted me to plan it though so its already done ;-) are you close with your FMIL maybe you should just sit down and tell her how you feel. Offer to take it off her plate if she feels it is to much for her. 

kaos16

Our rehearsal dinner is BBQ and a keg at my mother and father's house. . . . super casual and lowkey.  Rehearsal dinners, like weddings, can be as inexpensive or as pricey as you want them to be.  In addition, my wedding is two weeks out and we literally just decided on the rehearsal dinner.  Nothing to stress about!!