edited

Linzee636

xoxox

lyndausvi

It's 6 weeks before, except that your FIL might have a lot going on, I fail to see a huge problem with this.

Just let it go, really that is all you can do.

ZRex

Awww, I'm sorry, I know it seems frustrating, but six weeks is a pretty decent gap.  You can still do all your fun bride stuff without even much of an overlap with hers.

Does your FI have a lot of out of town family that will have to travel for the wedding?  That's one thing that might be annoying, because relatives could potentially have to choose which to attend.  Maybe get out your STDs STAT?

Kati0105

is it me, or was this not cool?

It's you.  You'll hear this a lot but you get one day, not TWO MONTHS.  Also it sounds like she felt a lot of pressure from you to not have her wedding anywhere near hers, which does NOT make it sound like you have been the bigger person.  Let it go.  What possible difference does it make if her wedding is 6 weeks before yours?

Nebb

I dont think she owes you any explanation or apology. They are fully entitled to plan their wedding the way they see fit.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_steamrolled-sil-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:421dbaef-88a9-4e7a-b8a9-2a02505d18abPost:6ea435b2-1870-4a3c-8070-7d57382c1f92">Re: steamrolled by SIL - is it me? (Long, sorry!)</a>:
[QUOTE]I dont think she owes you any explanation or apology. They are fully entitled to plan their wedding the way they see fit.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

ITA - I just forgot to put it in my post.

aggiebug

Sucks that she is not nice enough to let you know.  It seems like you get the fact that they aren't that close together and things will be fine, but I totally see why you would like to atleast get a call.  Your FI is family seems like you would find out based on that alone. 

sarah0725

Whatever else may be going on between the two of you, what's done is done. The best thing for you to do is to find a way to come to terms with it, move on, and avoid getting into any sort of competition thing with your FSIL.

Catwoman708

Sorry, but she IS entitled - to have her wedding when it works best for them.  She does not owe you an explanation or an apology. 

If she had previously made a big show of not being in competition, then she could have done you the courtesy of informing you sooner, but it's still not "required".  Maybe she really is competing with you in a race for the altar or something.  But if she is, I think I'd be more inclined to pity her than be angry about it.  Is it possible she was dreading telling you, because of how you might react?

Anyway, it should not effect your wedding at all, other than any inconveniences for overlapping guests that might have to travel.  It might potentially cause a little overlap in showers or something, but that is relatively easy to keep each other informed about. 

Can you just do your thing, let her do her thing, and be happy for each other?

MeaghanandMichael

OK, the knot ate the response I originally wrote, but most of these ladies covered what I wanted to say.

My only other piece is that this happened to my friend. It actually ended up working very much in his favor as he and his sister were able to book things like their photographer, videographer and limos together. They got a 2 for 1.5 deal with these vendors. Why not use this to your advantage and try to save some money? Obviously, there are plenty of things about your wedding you are not going to want the same, but I am sure there are things that you could find and save yourself some money.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Well if she wanted a fall wedding she could have planned for the week after yours. Or the day after. Hey, the OOT relatives will still be around!

Even if we told you "Ok, that sucks, she's a total biitch," what can you do about it? Nothing.

sucrets4

The only people she is inconveniencing is your shared family.  Did you have to get approval before setting your date?  Probably not, and neither should she.  Get over yourself and be happy for them.

duckie1905

She doesn't owe you a heads-up, and explanation, or an apology.  You get one day and that's it.

Basically, its you and yes, you seem like a snot.

jnic0319

Hey I get it, my best friend did this to me., FI and I have been dating four years, them not even 1 and she was like "we're finally engaged yay! i want the wedding ASAP" I was pissed at first and hurt, we had been planning for a while for exactly the right time not to mention I picked a date and she called me that night with the same date for her wedding, I offered to switch mine to 6 weeks later, come to find out she didn't even have anything booked.  Long story short I called my mom, I cried for 15 minutes about getting my thunder stolen, and mom said "it sucks, now snap out of it" hahaha and she was right.  So what if we waited longer it's her day and she should get it when she wants just like I should...and it's actually been really fun, we're planning our weddings together and really enjoying having someone to go through it all with.

So now you vented and got it all out...move on and let it go. In a few months you will be so into your own planning that neither of you will care about the others date you will be having too much fun with your own, and maybe even doing it together.  It will all be ok.

dsouldiva

By the sounds of it, this is the sort of thing that you PRIVATELY get to be disappointed about, for about 5 mintues, then you have to realise the world doesn't revolve around your wedding and get over it.  It really isn't a big deal and she certainly didn't need to phone you or your FI to tell you she'd moved her wedding.

...and most people send out their STDs right after they've booked the wedding, it's not like she planned it for the same weekend and did this to you.