unwanted at rehearsal dinner?

britandseanwed

My brother and his girlfriend will have been dating almost a year at the time of my wedding. I do not get along with her at all, but am still giving my brother the courtesy of bringing her as his date to the wedding. However I would like to have her around as least as possiple. If she is invited to the wedding, is it wrong to have my brother not bring her to the rehearsal dinner?

lyndausvi

IMO. Yes WP members should get a date. Not inviting her might cause unnecessary drama.

HockeyFan4

don't break social units.... it would be wrong not to invite her with him.

pantherRN

I'm with Lynda.

jessicabessica

People invited to the RD should be invited with their sig others or plus ones, in my opinion.  

I don't really think you're doing your brother any huge favor letting him bring his gf to the wedding.  It would be rude not to invite him with his significant other.  Besides, what if your brother ends up staying with her?  It will be a pretty bad mark on your relationship with her if you deliberately excluded her from the RD.  

redheadfsu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unwanted-rehearsal-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4238cd88-2e53-4919-84ed-34940418fdbaPost:ed4f6fa5-9003-4d28-871d-9d04ac382280">unwanted at rehearsal dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]My brother and his girlfriend will have been dating almost a year at the time of my wedding. I do not get along with her at all, but am still giving my brother the <strong>courtesy</strong> of bringing her as his date to the wedding. However I would like to have her around as least as possiple. If she is invited to the wedding, is it wrong to have my brother not bring her to the rehearsal dinner?
Posted by britandseanwed[/QUOTE]

Well aren't you nice (sarcasm font).

They are in a relationship, so you (as the nice hostess) must invite her. How would you feel if you were excluded at their wedding (which is a possibility if you are a brat and don't invite her)?

em01092

Invite her and just be cordial. You don't have to speak to her more than necessary. I agree with PPs that not inviting her will make things worse for you in the long run. Even if they break up, better to not have that on your conscious. 

PsyDet 2155

I would let her come to the rehearsal dinner.  I think not letting her come would invite unnecessary drama.

Brandiewine11

You need to include her in the RD. You'll be too busy with other stuff to really be bothered by it. It will be fine.

ootmother2

unfortunately I think you're stuck on this one

mkrupar

I think it's funny you think it's a courtesy to allow him to bring her as his date and not just normal, standard etiquette.

To answer your question, you should invite her to the RD.

banana468

Wow, you're giving him the courtesy of bringing her? Dont you sound like a peach.

MissKate2011

All guests should be allowed the same "courtesy" so if you're allowing all other family members/wedding party members a guest then the same "courtesy" should be extended to your brother.

dragossoul84

It can stink but you have to invite her there is a woman engaged to one of my fiance's groomsmen and she is the devil. Pretty abusive to me and even tried to get my fiance to dump me when we started dating but we want him there so we're stuck with her I'm just making sure shes not sitting next to me and enjoying our friends and family and what will be a truely exciting night before we're married

noodle_oo

Yes, it is very rude to not invite her, especially if they have been dating for a year!  Speaking as an SO who has been excluded in the past, it is VERY hurtful to both your brother and his girlfriend.  How would you feel if your FI wasn't invited to his RD?  Seriously, you don't get to pass judgement on someone's relationship just bc you are the bride.  It is really mean to force him to spend this event honoring love and your happy relationship and at the same time, tell him you don't approve of the person he loves. 

And, she will know that you purposely excluded her.  What if they end up getting married? Do you really want that kind of a history hanging over you?  Because believe me, she won't forget it.