Inviting children of cousins

mamamia2131

Need input asap!  I keep going back and forth on this issue.   I am mother of the bride.   We are inviting my cousins and we are closer to the children of one cousin.  All are age 18+.    So one family is invited. Here's the dilemma.  My other cousins children all ranging in age from 13-25 we are not close to...in fact have not even seen some of them over the years.   If i add these children to the list it increases the invitees by an additional 6 people.  What do i do?  Invites need to be mailed tomorrow...as they are late already.  any input is appreciated.Thanks!

sarabellam

A few questions - 1) Is there room at the venue for the extra 6 "children?" 2) Is there room in the budget to pay for the extras? 3) IF the answers to 1) and 2) are yes, are you willing to deal with the potential fallout and hurt feelings if they aren't invited? The simplest thing to do would be not invite any of them, even the ones to whom you feel close.

[Deleted User]

I think it depends on your family and your budget.

My parents cousins are not invited to my wedding because they are not that close to them and my mom has 9 brothers and sister herself, so it would up my guest list by about 150 people, no joke.  

However FI has a very small close family and his mom's cousin's are invited.  She has one brother, her mom has one sister they all see each other it makes sense to invite them.  

quotequeen

If you are inviting their parents and they still live at home, and other children are invited, then you may have fallout from not inviting them.  But in general I don't think people the bride and groom don't know should be invited, and second cousins are not a necessary invite group.  I am inviting all the children of particular of my mom's cousins, but I am not inviting other of her cousins that I don't know, or their children.  If my guest list were smaller, I would just be inviting one particular second cousin that I am close to.

mamamia2131

keep the words of wisdom coming.

I agree in the sense that you really should have those people closest to you at your wedding and not invite only for the sake of inviting 'across the board'.   The reception hall holds 170ish and we have already invited 195.  

 I feel it's just a bit silly to invite when we really have no contact ..other than occasional funeral or party where we see them.

sarabellam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-children-of-cousins?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4276b953-95a9-4138-b8f7-09fc390342b4Post:80a81758-4da2-4129-a3a8-51e5782ba8b2">Re: Inviting children of cousins</a>:
[QUOTE]   The reception hall holds 170ish and we have already invited 195.   Posted by mamamia2131[/QUOTE]

Right there is your answer. If 100% RSVP yes, how exactly to you plan on squeezing 195 people into a reception hall that only holds 170? To invite even more people is in invitation to disaster. 

mamamia2131

omg if there is 100% attending....i am in deep trouble.    I know that probably 10-15% will not attend.  

Krysti21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-children-of-cousins?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4276b953-95a9-4138-b8f7-09fc390342b4Post:f7cf6318-8734-4e53-9b0a-6006fee76247">Re: Inviting children of cousins</a>:
[QUOTE]omg if there is 100% attending....i am in deep trouble.    
Posted by mamamia2131[/QUOTE]

Yes. Always plan for 100% attendance. This is an important detail that you left out of your original question. This makes the answer no. Absolutely do not invite a single other person to this wedding. You already have too many.

mamamia2131

Thank you so much for your opinion(s).  I am already over the top, your absolutely correct.  It's decided then....one cousin with his children....and the others without their children.