Dollar Dance???

Mrs**D

So almost everyone I know is suggesting that I do a "Dollar Dance" at my wedding. For those who don't know what that is, it means that guests who wish to dance with the Bride and Groom while a few particular songs are heard must pay for the privilege.

I thought it was a cute idea and planned on putting on the invitations something on the invitations to the effect of in lieu of gifts, the bride and groom will be participating in a dollar dance, with an explanation of what that is.

However, my friend recently told me that it would be fun but we probably wouldn't make much because my family would probably only bring 1's and 5's. This upset and offended me because I was thinking that ones and MAYBE 5's would be appropriate and I don't want anyone invited to feel obligated to have anything higher than that on them for the dance.

Should I do it or not? And if I should should I mention it in the invitations (if so, how)?

andyandhillary

Everything suggested is super, duper rude.  Just all of it, bad. 

You should never do anything, in any way, that asks for money.

baystateapple

You shouldn't put anything in reference to gifts on your invitation.  A gift is a gift, not an obligation. 

And please don't do a dollar dance. 

Kristin&eric

dont suggest anything present or money related on invites. I dont really like the dollar dance its not for me. They are paying to travel to watch and help us celebrate a new beginning in our like and I invited them there so why should I expect presents or money?? Thats just my thoughts though

SheDiva4

While it sound like a good idea, please think about it what you are asking.

You want to know how to politely tell your guests (who are not obligated to get you a a gift at all) to bring cash so they can dance with you and your FI. 

You can't!

Unless your reception is at a strip club, your guests will not like being told to bring lots of cash.

Brie2010

It is never a good idea to dance for money.  Seriously.

Mrs**D

Thank you ladies....I was very much on the fence. On the one hand I thought that, "Hey! I've never seen one of those" but at the same time I was thinking, "Who in the heck pays to someone to dance....aside from a stripper." And well that's not how I want to be thought of (even if it's only me thinking it!)

I very much appreciate it!

SheDiva4

[QUOTE]It is never a good idea to dance for money.  Seriously.
Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]

Unless this is your chosen profession and you ike poles!

danieliza1127

We had a dollar dance.  They're pretty common in our area and I've been to plenty of weddings where I paid $1 to dance with the groom for 30 seconds.  No big deal.  However, you should NOT mention it in the invitation at all or suggest that it's in lieu of gifts. 

SheDiva4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dollar-dance-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:43548e48-e61c-4e0d-80fa-b3d5e1d5029aPost:31e38ca7-e7d6-4f40-808e-86b98249f486">Re: Dollar Dance???</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you ladies....I was very much on the fence. On the one hand I thought that, "Hey! I've never seen one of those" but at the same time I was thinking, "Who in the heck pays to someone to dance....aside from a stripper." And well that's not how I want to be thought of (even if it's only me thinking it!) I very much appreciate it!
Posted by Mrs**D[/QUOTE]

What you may find is that guest who want to give you cash is a gift will not need anything to prompt them to do so.  

squirrly

Just say no to drugs and dollar dances. 

ohwhynot

if you've never seen one, then definitely don't have one.  I get that for some families/communities, it would be a big disappointment NOT to have one because everyone expects and loves them, but that's not true in your case.  Believe me, people would talk about it and not in a good way. 

danieliza1127

Oh yeah, also if you feel like it's tacky or you've never seen one and they aren't common for your friends and family, then definitely don't do it.

hugz415

I hate them.  Not only because I think they are tacky but for me its just another one of those "things" you are supposed to do bc of tradition.  I'm cutting as much of that out as possible.  No garter, no bouquet toss.  To me all that just takes time away from really enjoying your party.

Anywho...I say no.  Unless its bc of ethnic tradition (I think its a Polish tradition) or everyone will miss it. 

jesibel14

Wow I really always thought the dollar dance was when someone pulls out a buck at the table and dances around, music stops person in front of them dances with the buck and so on and so on...I never heard of paying a $ to dance with a bride/groom.  I don't think it's popular around my area at least (Boston).

Like PPs said, if your social circle is not familiar with it, definitely don't do it.  Though I know it's acceptable to some, I've never seen it done and would find it odd to see myself.  It also strikes me as snobby - "sorry you don't have a buck, so you can't dance with me, though you are important enough to be at my wedding". Weird.

SparrowSong

Honestly, dollar dances don't bother me that much as I know they are very, very common in some areas. I've never seen one, so I guess they aren't common here. If I went to a wedding with one, I wouldn't participate probably, but if others wanted to that's fine too. If it's just dollars, I don't see the big deal. It's the brides who start getting all huffy about wanting twenties, and fifties and hundreds that I find extremely tacky.

I would no sooner mention it on an invitation than say, "we plan to do the hokey pokey." It's just not necessary. It looks like you're saying, "bring lots of cash because we're asking you all it to participate and give it to us." And THAT imo, is not cool.

It's either common and expected in your families (and no explanation is needed) or it's not (and an explanation would be offensive).

Trishes

Yeah. Don't do this.

kayladee87

For some reason, dollar dances are very common in the area I'm from (Iowa).  From all the receptions I've attended, I think all of them/most of them had a dollar dance, and they always seemed to be well received.

Like PP said, it's inappropriate to mention it in an invitation.  If you go ahead with it,The DJ/band probably will briefly explain it before it happens...but it's pretty self-explanatory.

[Deleted User]

You won't get much support on dollar dances on these boards. It's like asking if you can have a cash bar. Personally, I don't care about the money dance because they are common around here, so it's more of a tradition and is accepted.

However, I definitely wouldn't put anything on an invitation.

Birdie1483

Dollar dances are common where I'm from and usually happen after all of the "formal" dances - bride and dad, groom and mom, etc. Usually the guests are mingling around and talking with each other, etc after dinner so if you don't get in line to dance, no one notices.

If people in your community are familiar with them, then I wouldn't see it being a problem to have one. They're fun and light hearteded where I come from. However, I definitely wouldn't put anything on the invitation or in writing about it.

I always get my friends a gift and still give them an extra buck or two during the dance. I see it as my way of helping them out just a little bit more with the bar tab.