Invited to a wedding?

sbily2010

not sure if this is the correct board for this but idk where else to post.


i was invited to a wedding well at least i think i was invited, the invite got mailed to my fi and his parents' house. my fmil was bff's with the brides mother before she passed. and fmil texted me today and told me oh btw i rsvp'd to the wedding for 4. (fi both his parents and me) instead of asking if our son was invited or not i just said ok i'll see if i can find a sitter,  she suggested that a 13 year old watch our son for us all night. Our son is extremely shy and i don't see this as possible. would anyone let a 13 year old watch their kid all night any way? 

also i've got to go now and find the invite to make sure we were really invited (or i was at least) i kind of have a problem with being told i was rsvp'd for an event before i saw the invite. am i over reacting or anyone else have a problem with this? especially if our son wasn't invited. ( if i would of gotten my own invite and saw our son wasn't invited i'd be the type that wouldn't go, so no i'm not sure about this) i also wouldn't put it passed fmil to say our son wasn't invited to this because she already told me she needed all the support she could get to go to this, and is prob thinking our son would get in the way.

should i ask the bride if she is having a kid free wedding? or is it ok to ask fsil who is a bm?

Kati0105

I think asking FSIL would be fine, she should be able to speak to the bride about it.

Kati0105

And I'm not a parent but I probably wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my child with a 13 year old for an extended period of time.

shellydiane820

If the kid wasn't RSVP'ed I wouldn't bring him.  I do think it sucks you are being forced to go, but is there anyone that can watch your kid for one night?

EDIT:  Try to bring him.

opalsky007

Were you actually invited by name or did your FMIL just write you in? If you weren't actually invited, I would just send word through your FSIL that your FMIL was overzealous and that you won't be attending.

danieliza1127

I would start by looking at the invitation to see if you and your FI were actually invited.  The invite should have also indicated whether your son was or not.  If in doubt or there is no way to tell (if she threw away the envelope or something), then ask the BM if she knows whether your son was invited or not.

I used to babysit when I was 13, so I don't have a problem with that but if you do, then that's all that matters.

squirrly

I'd ask to see the invite.  Then I'd talk to FSIL. 

rmhowell.thinkpink

I don't have children but my FMIL did this last summer!  We were invited, but were not going to go. It was super uncomfortable! Good luck!

526SadieSadie

Yes to looking at the invite (I agree that if you were specifially invited you would have received one of your own, unless the bride or whoever addressed the invites wasn't aware of this social faux pas), no to letting a 13 year old babysit unless I knew the kid well and my child was comfortable with him/her.

sbily2010

Thank you ladies for all your help. the invite was addressed to "and family" so i'm guessing my fmil was just being stupid i've just gotta get a hold of the fsil in law and make sure it's still ok for him to go.