inviting my MOH's sister...

Love is Bald

I'm not really sure how sensitive this issue really is.  I've been close with my MOH and her family for 20+ years.  Of course everyone is invited to my wedding.  One catch -- her sister is a little bit of a wild child.  She'll be 19 at the time of the wedding.  Without getting too detailed, she has been through several rehabs (recently got out) at the ripe ol' age of 17.   To be brief, she has a girlfriend who she's been with about 9 months who shares in these very same issues (she just left rehab too, actually).  At their family gatherings, the two are all over each other to the point of inappropriateness yet no one says anything because dear sister is ultra sensitive and they worry about her doing something drastic.

What it comes down to is, I want to invite MOH's sister to be at the wedding, but I don't want to invite her girlfriend.  I am not at all against homosexuality and have no issues with it, I just feel like they will draw a lot of negative attention because of the way they act in public together.  My MOH actually brought it up to me (she doesn't like her sister's girlfriend bc of some recent revelations) and I asked her what her thoughts were and she said that she would prefer I didn't invite her either.  I'm afraid of upsetting the rest of the family though and I don't want them to think its bc I don't approve of her lifestyle, I just dont approve of her girlfriend and the way they act in public together.

Any guidance would be appreciated.  I've tried to explain this the best I can without getting too detailed.  Thanks ladies

[Deleted User]

If they are in a serious relationship, you need to invite the girlfriend. YOu could  just not invite the sister, but if you are inviting the entire family, that's not really an option either.

shellydiane820

I like your screenname.

And I agree with what cew said.

Kati0105

There is really no way to exclude the sister's girlfriend without looking like a homophobe.  Since it sounds like your MOH has issues with her sister's behavior as well, you can probably count on her to make sure her sister behaves appropriately (not sure what you consider inappropriate behavior in this situation though - it's hard for me not to give this post the side eye without additional info).

whitneykaye87

Yeah I'm with Cew also.  If it makes you feel any better, it's very likely no one will pay attention to or notice them, especially you.

ohwhynot

I like your screenname, too.  As others have pointed out, you don't really get to decide whether you approve of someone's SO - if someone is in a committed relationship, their SO gets invited regardless of whether you like the SO.  I'm not sure what this guest being in rehab has to do with anything - is she sober now?  It didn't seem like you were worried about her substance abuse, so I'm assuming the answer is that she is sober.

She may surprise you; she may be intentionally provocative at family gatherings (for myriad reasons) in a way that she wouldn't be at your wedding. 

wcvsb3b5

What Cew said. I think the only way around this would be to not invite the sister but I'm not sure how that would go over.

Love is Bald

i'll relay that you like my user name to my FI -- he is SO self conscious about his bald head   I think its sexy.

and thanks ladies for the input!  If I put all the drama with her sister out here on the board, it'll look like im reading off a Maury Povich script.    But I will say it is more than just substance abuse rehab involved here...