Wedding band

Burtonbaby145

My FI gave me a 'promise ring' years ago, after we had been together for six years. Three years later he proposed and when he did I moved my promise ring from my left ring finger to my right, to make room for my engagement ring! I have been wearing the two rings on seperate fingers for the past few months and plan to do so till the wedding, but I am thinking that I want to make my promise ring into my wedding band instead of getting a seperate one.

I love this ring and don't want to stop wearing it, but probably wouldn't wear three rings at a time. It's a super simple silver Tiffanys band with three small inset diamonds. It's similar in color and style to my engagement ring. I would probably have my FI get it engraved with something before the wedding, and maybe have the minister incorporate that I am making my promise ring into my wedding band somehow, just to tie it in.

I really like this plan but my mom isn't thrilled by my idea, but won't give me a solid reason against doing it other than 'but you will wish you had another ring.' Any other thoughts on this?

coopsbaby

I think that's a lovely idea, and can't think of a reason not to do it. I say go for it!

Simply Fated

I think it's a really good idea.

Gustafson28

Another vote for go for it!

SmallenForever

My only concern is that your ring is silver. Silver does not hold up super well and if you're wearing it stacked with your engagement ring, if you're engagement ring is a harder metal, you will damage the silver ring. 

Sharpschruter22

I vote for a new ring. You will be able to give the promise ring to your future daughter when she is a teen. Wouldn't that be nice? The silver ring won't hold up as well as a gold or platinum ring will. What's the difference adding a thin band to your engagement ring and continuing to wear the promise ring on your right hand? Initially, I didn't want a wedding band at all. I just wanted to wear my engagement ring by itself, but they came as a set and I love the way they look together. I also like the significance the wedding band holds. Try on different wedding bands and see how you feel after you see all of your options.

darlinganastasia

I think it's a beautiful idea. If you love the ring that much, it will mean more to to you I h e it as your wedding band. And eventually, if you find that you wish you had gotten another one, well, get an anniversary band or something. Tiffany jewlery, even though its silver, is built to last. But I do recommend regular cleanings as well as taking it in to be re plated if necessary. But if you haven't had any issues with it yet, than you probably won't. And your mom isn't the one getting married not is she the one wearing the ring, so the decision is yours.

s-aries8990

I think it's a really nice idea!

But, I also agree with Sharp- I think it would be wonderful to turn it into a family heirloom for a future daughter/DIL/grandaughter. As Pp stated, Tiffany is built to last, so just make it last as it is.

Love11506

love the idea!

StephJean83

I agree with Sharp and Sydaries, about getting a new ring. What you could do is see if they have the same style but made from gold or platinum or see what it would cost to have it made from gold or platinum.

FWIW, when my FH and I started dating, he gave me a ring and I love it. It has 7 tiny black diamonds and is made from silver. For my birthday he bought me a Claddaugh ring, also made from silver with marcasite stones. I love both rings and wear both on my right hand(when I first got the Claddaugh I wore it alone on my right hand and the band on my left hand) and my engagment ring on my left. My engagment ring is styled after the Claddaugh ring but made from white gold and has diamonds. My wedding band will be styled after the band I already have but also with white gold and a few more diamonds.

Kristin789

In my area, when the grooom puts the wedding band on the bride's finger, she doesn't take it off again.  It represents the exact moment in the ceremony when they were wed.

Sure, some girls take off their engagement ring later, when they do dishes or laundry or gardening or travel to challenging places.  But never the wedding band.

So your mom is saying that you have already worn the promise ring for years and years, and you have made independent decisions to wear it on your other hand for a while now, and so this promise ring does not have the same significance and solemnity of a new pure wedding band that will be put on your hand by your groom and stay there 'til death does you part.

I agree with her, but I will suggest to you that you should go to your ceremony with a bare finger, have your groom put a new thin Tiffany's band on your finger, then after the ceremony, you put your engagement ring on next, and then your promise ring on top.  In my area, all the girls are wearing three rings now.

StephJean83

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-band-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:43c44b96-98f0-4832-af3f-dde4fe9360ecPost:fe1d8ebb-33e3-4ea8-9e36-808360b1c694">Re: Wedding band</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>In my area, when the grooom puts the wedding band on the bride's finger, she doesn't take it off again.  It represents the exact moment in the ceremony when they were wed. Sure, some girls take off their engagement ring later, when they do dishes or laundry or gardening or travel to challenging places.  But never the wedding band.</strong> So your mom is saying that you have already worn the promise ring for years and years, and you have made independent decisions to wear it on your other hand for a while now, and so this promise ring does not have the same significance and solemnity of a new pure wedding band that will be put on your hand by your groom and stay there 'til death does you part. I agree with her, but I will suggest to you that you should go to your ceremony with a bare finger, have your groom put a new thin Tiffany's band on your finger, then after the ceremony, you put your engagement ring on next, and then your promise ring on top.  In my area, all the girls are wearing three rings now.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

Can I safely assume that the women where you live never gain or lose weight? When they get pregnant their fingers don't swell and thus never take their rings off? I'm also assuming that women by you also only have plain bands? I know when I amd doing dishes, washing my hands, showering, gardening or crafting(painting/gluing) I take my rings off(e-ring and 2 other rings my FH gave me) so as not to get them dirty and once we are married I will do the same with my wedding band. It doesn't make my wedding band any less special or solemn, it means that I don't want to be in the jewelers every other week having my rings cleaned.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Gold is a very soft medal. Silver is not softer than gold. It's probably usually harder, in fact. (Platinum is a little harder, but most e-rings are gold, so I'm assuming yours is.)

Go for it. The only issue is that if your e-ring is white gold, the color will dull and yellow over time, so the rings might not "match" as well.

You could also have the 3 diamonds re-set into a new wedding band of the same medal as your e-ring.

Kristin789

>>Can I safely assume that the women where you live never gain or lose weight?

Right.  I live in a beach culture where everyone keeps pretty fit, including people over 50 who retire and move here because they can be active outside year-round. 

I used to live in northern Ohio and people would gain weight over the winter because they COULD - because they were wrapped in sweaters and big heavy coats.  And then they struggled in April and May to lose some weight before pool season - and some people weren't very successful, so there was a much more generous acceptance of people who were a little bigger than average.  Here, it's pool season year round, and there's a high intolerance for people who are a little bigger than average.

>>When they get pregnant their fingers don't swell and thus never take their rings off?
 
I know no one that this has happened to.

>>I'm also assuming that women by you also only have plain bands?

Yes, plain or relatively plain.  There have been some highly publicized cases of girls getting those wedding bands with the little tiny diamonds set INTO the band or a band with diamonds in the channel-setting all the way around - and then the little diamonds have fallen out because it's really really difficult to set tiny diamonds into anything.  So these girls have to keep going back to the jewelers to get new tiny diamonds, and the news reports told everyone NOT to get the rings with the tiny diamonds.

SmallenForever

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-band-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:43c44b96-98f0-4832-af3f-dde4fe9360ecPost:d12b6744-dd47-4fb9-9b23-db311b566879">Re: Wedding band</a>:
[QUOTE] />>Can I safely assume that the women where you live never gain or lose weight? Right.  I live in a beach culture where everyone keeps pretty fit, including people over 50 who retire and move here because they can be active outside year-round.  I used to live in northern Ohio and people would gain weight over the winter because they COULD - because they were wrapped in sweaters and big heavy coats.  And then they struggled in April and May to lose some weight before pool season - and some people weren't very successful, so there was a much more generous acceptance of people who were a little bigger than average.  Here, it's pool season year round, and there's a high intolerance for people who are a little bigger than average. >>When they get pregnant their fingers don't swell and thus never take their rings off?   I know no one that this has happened to. >>I'm also assuming that women by you also only have plain bands? Yes, plain or relatively plain.  There have been some highly publicized cases of girls getting those wedding bands with the little tiny diamonds set INTO the band or a band with diamonds in the channel-setting all the way around - and then the little diamonds have fallen out because it's really really difficult to set tiny diamonds into anything.  So these girls have to keep going back to the jewelers to get new tiny diamonds, and the news reports told everyone NOT to get the rings with the tiny diamonds.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]



This is all hilarious.

KellyBrian2013

In Response to Re:Wedding band:[QUOTE]
This is all hilarious. Posted by SmallenForever[/QUOTE]

I'm just shocked KristinNumbers has come back into the same thread multiple times...

kaos16

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-band-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:43c44b96-98f0-4832-af3f-dde4fe9360ecPost:d12b6744-dd47-4fb9-9b23-db311b566879">Re: Wedding band</a>:
[QUOTE] />>Can I safely assume that the women where you live never gain or lose weight? Right.  I live in a beach culture where everyone keeps pretty fit, including people over 50 who retire and move here because they can be active outside year-round.  I used to live in northern Ohio and people would gain weight over the winter because they COULD - because they were wrapped in sweaters and big heavy coats.  And then they struggled in April and May to lose some weight before pool season - and some people weren't very successful, so there was a much more generous acceptance of people who were a little bigger than average.  Here, it's pool season year round, and there's a high intolerance for people who are a little bigger than average. >>When they get pregnant their fingers don't swell and thus never take their rings off?   I know no one that this has happened to. >>I'm also assuming that women by you also only have plain bands? Yes, plain or relatively plain.  There have been some highly publicized cases of girls getting those wedding bands with the little tiny diamonds set INTO the band or a band with diamonds in the channel-setting all the way around - and then the little diamonds have fallen out because it's really really difficult to set tiny diamonds into anything.  So these girls have to keep going back to the jewelers to get new tiny diamonds, and the news reports told everyone NOT to get the rings with the tiny diamonds.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

The same place where nobody has surgery that jewelry has to be removed for, etc?? Interesting.

It is my understanding that diamonds channel set into a ring will be just fine with regular use.  The problems I have seen with this type of diamond is when the diamonds are in the band and then someone tries to resize the band smaller, changing the shape of the band and loosening the diamonds.  There is no way it's that big of a crisis that the news is reporting it.

StephJean83

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-band-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:43c44b96-98f0-4832-af3f-dde4fe9360ecPost:c54b3f8f-e7b1-4754-bd43-bb2b7d4cf404">Re: Wedding band</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding band : The same place where nobody has surgery that jewelry has to be removed for, etc?? Interesting. It is my understanding that diamonds channel set into a ring will be just fine with regular use.  <strong>The problems I have seen with this type of diamond is when the diamonds are in the band and then someone tries to resize the band smaller, changing the shape of the band and loosening the diamonds.</strong>  There is no way it's that big of a crisis that the news is reporting it.
Posted by kaos16[/QUOTE]

That is what a lot of jewelers told us because there really isn't away to cut the band without loosening the diamonds around the cut. Diamonds that are channel are usually set into the band and have a harder time falling out.

NYCMercedes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-band-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:43c44b96-98f0-4832-af3f-dde4fe9360ecPost:ac6b6188-9c07-4e2f-8e1d-f34d8d972bd6">Re: Wedding band</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding band :

This is all hilarious.
Posted by SmallenForever[/QUOTE]



Thank you, SmallenForever.

danielleper03

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-band-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:43c44b96-98f0-4832-af3f-dde4fe9360ecPost:cbe300f7-23ad-48fd-9d25-0a4049a7d95c">Re: Wedding band</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding band : That is what a lot of jewelers told us because there really isn't away to cut the band without loosening the diamonds around the cut. Diamonds that are channel are usually set into the band and have a harder time falling out.
Posted by StephJean83[/QUOTE]

If the ring is well made, this is true.

I had a baguette ring that was 95% silver and it was poorly constructed. It was a gift from a family member and we got a new ring later, but the jeweler told me that silver is very soft and they add 5% nickle (to mine anyway) to make it stronger. When they resized it they had a hard time keeping the baguettes in place because the curve of the ring changed (smaller) and the silver was so soft. This ring was scratched and dinged up a lot. And the baguette settings would wiggle and be loose.

I assume, however, a really nice, well made ring would not have that problem but regular cleaning and inspection prevents that from happening.

StephJean83

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-band-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:43c44b96-98f0-4832-af3f-dde4fe9360ecPost:5cfc1447-4b4a-400f-8c61-53479c56be0b">Re: Wedding band</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding band : If the ring is well made, this is true. I had a baguette ring that was 95% silver and it was poorly constructed. It was a gift from a family member and we got a new ring later, but the jeweler told me that silver is very soft and they add 5% nickle (to mine anyway) to make it stronger. When they resized it they had a hard time keeping the baguettes in place because the curve of the ring changed (smaller) and the silver was so soft. This ring was scratched and dinged up a lot. And the baguette settings would wiggle and be loose. I assume, however, a really nice, well made ring would not have that problem but regular cleaning and inspection prevents that from happening.
Posted by danielleper03[/QUOTE]

I don't like stones that sit high and our jeweler recommended channel setting because they are usually flush to the ban and they usually have a harder time getting knocked around and fall out. Luckily the store we got my e-ring at has a lifetime no questions asked diamond replacement. That is included, no paying extra for it either!