Wedding Etiquette Forum

Ugh, I messed up.

So a few months ago, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while but kept in touch with from time to time came to town.  We had dinner.  She knew I was getting married, and at the end of the dinner she said "Oh, if you have space, invite me, I will come and party."  I can't for the life of me remember how I answered, other than probably trying to play it down.

Well, I sent out my invites 6 weeks before the wedding, and I remembered that conversation and felt that, since I couldn't remember what I said, I should probably invite her (to clarify: this isn't a B-list situation, I wasn't waiting for anyone to decline).  So I asked her for her address, then came here and saw another thread that said it was way too late to invite out of towners.

She responded to my request for her address in a way that implied she was excited (I didn't specify what for).

I'm not a terrible person for inviting her, am I?  I feel like I tried to fix a bad situation (not remembering what I told her) and made it worse, but I was so sure that she would like to be invited.

Oof.  Tell me how I made a hash of things.
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Re: Ugh, I messed up.

  • I don't really think it's a big deal. If she seemed excited to come, and you would like her to be there, then no harm no foul.
  • when did you send the invite?  I think you are fine.
  • At this point I think not inviting her would be worse than inviting her. 
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  • You're 5 weeks out and you sent the other invites last week?  I think you're okay for inviting her. FWIW, not everyone does STDs so a 6 week notification for OOT guests can be typical.  If she really wants to come, she'll make the necessary arrangements for travel and such.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • tsp698tsp698 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited April 2011
    I don't understand the issue...

    She wants to be invited, you want to invite her, but because there is a thread that says its too late to invite out of towners you think you can't and/or shouldn't?

    Is this correct? Or do you not want to invite her? (In which case too late because you asked for her address)

    Just mail the invitation, unless you need your numbers to your venue in the next 10 days, there is plenty of time for her to respond, if she can come she will, if she can't she won't. No harm no foul...
    image 107 Invited
    image 43 are ready to party! image 6 have better things to do image58 are lollygagging
    RSVP Date: July 23
  • tsp- I read it as she was worried that because the guest is OOT and got a 5 week invite, that it's going to look like a B list invite to the guest??
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • Yes, exactly.  I don't want anyone to think I have a B-list.

    I sent out save-the-dates a while back, but not to all guests (coworkers and maybe a few OOT people didn't come).

    I'll send the invite, I just was feeling like maybe I messed up.  I hope she does make it, I would love to have her there!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ugh-messed-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4491730b-797a-40f6-9930-32b980cb22c6Post:26074ce1-0f41-4773-9a4e-a3b4b53d26f3">Re: Ugh, I messed up.</a>:
    [QUOTE]tsp- I read it as she was worried that because the guest is OOT and got a 5 week invite, that it's going to look like a B list invite to the guest??
    Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

    Ah, that makes sense then.

    Then I agree with your PP about a week's difference not being a really big deal. Honestly I would never notice if someone sent me an invitation 8 weeks out or 4 weeks out.
    image 107 Invited
    image 43 are ready to party! image 6 have better things to do image58 are lollygagging
    RSVP Date: July 23
  • I keep wanting to call you teaspoon ;-)
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • You're fineee.. Relax! I hope this is your biggest "issue" so far with wedding stuff, haha
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ugh-messed-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4491730b-797a-40f6-9930-32b980cb22c6Post:1c2f02bf-e634-41cd-9f25-bcf4e7a92251">Re: Ugh, I messed up.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I keep wanting to call you teaspoon ;-)
    Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

    Haha, yeah I actually use Teaspoon as my handle on most sites, I guess I was just lazy when I signed up for the Knot.
    image 107 Invited
    image 43 are ready to party! image 6 have better things to do image58 are lollygagging
    RSVP Date: July 23
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