Wedding Etiquette Forum

Thank you idea for multiple people who gave 1 gift

I'm in a book club, and at our last meeting the ladies gave me a gift which was from everyone in the club.   Would it be appropriate to write out thank yous without specifically addressing them because I don't know who all will be there/won't be there?...and handing them out that evening.  Or is this tacky?

Or should I do it like every other thank you by getting individual home addresses and sending them via mail?  The first meeting we had in February had about 15 people, but lately it's been 7-8 people who have regularly showed up, so I don't even know if those other 7ish people are even in the club anymore.  When I asked my aunt who specifically it was from (she's in the club), she just told me "everyone."  So I don't know if that means the inital 15 of them, or the 8 regulars.

Any other suggestions would be appreciated!
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Re: Thank you idea for multiple people who gave 1 gift

  • Since you don't know who specifically contributed to the gift, maybe bring some wedding pics and brownies to the next meeting and talk about how grateful you are and how much you appreciated the thoughtful gift.
  • Thanks! I am seriously considering baking something because I love to bake, and it gives me an excuse to.  However, I think I might see if I can find out who specifically put money towards it.
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  • we got several gifts like that--where 10-20 women went in on a gift together. we sent individual thank yous to each and every single person who signed the card. I would get more specific information from your aunt.
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  • babs24babs24 member
    First Comment
    Was there no card with the gift?  I would feel weird (like I was cheating or stealing) if you profusely thanked me with brownies for a gift I didn't chip in for. 

    Get more scoop from the aunt. Certanily someone collected the money and bought or ordered the gift??
  • Honestly, in that type of situation, where a lot of people could contribute to a gift I would do something thanking them as a group. I saw in the other post that you said it seemed your aunt felt uncomfortable saying who exactly contributed. I think that it would be appropriate to thank the group and write one note. 

    Most likely, the gift was supposed to be from "the group" and whoever could/wanted to contribute did and it is likely that no one took names of who gave what towards the gift. I have been the collector of money for gifts in situations like that and many times I wouldn't have been able to pass on a list of who contributed because it could be done somewhat autonomously (such as leaving in the organizations mailbox when I was in a student org). I think that thanking the group in this situation would be fine.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-idea-multiple-people-gave-1-gift-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:45357616-d5da-4e89-9941-d7e5cea8f560Post:9a409f38-6f94-4a2f-bda5-7299f64b62d9">Re: Thank you idea for multiple people who gave 1 gift</a>:
    [QUOTE]Was there no card with the gift?  I would feel weird (like I was cheating or stealing) if you profusely thanked me with brownies for a gift I didn't chip in for.  Get more scoop from the aunt. Certanily someone collected the money and bought or ordered the gift??
    Posted by babs24[/QUOTE]

    The card was signed, "Book Club." So that doesn't help me much with specifying. 

    I'm guessing my aunt was the one who was in charge of it. That or her sister-in-law.  I could also email her sister-in-law and see if she has a list of who paid. I've emailed my aunt, and I'm waiting to hear back.
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  • I teach, and at our school, each grade level collects money and gets a gif card for weddings and babies.  I have received cards addressed to me individually and cards addressed to the entire grade level.  In your instance, I would address one thank you card to the group as a whole since everything is really vague.  We would always just pass the card around that was addressed to the grade level.
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