Wedding Rehearsal: Who to Invite?

ckollstedt

Hello ladies, I have a question about the wedding rehearsal and dinner.  We're having our rehearsal the night before the wedding at the venue (outside of a lodge in a park).  Officiant will not be there, we're going to be using the time to decide where to place musicians and work out how long each music selection will take, as well as decorating the inside of the lodge.  (We're doing a very simple civil ceremony, so I'm confident that we won't need to go through the motions with the officiant.)  As of right now, the entire bridal party, both FI and my parents, and the musicians will be the only ones who will meet at the park.  Our rehearsal dinner will be at a restaurant about 15 minutes away, and we are inviting the bridal party, musicians, immediate family, and OOT family.  

I'm getting ready to send invitations to the rehearsal dinner.  My question is, should I invite the OOT rehearsal dinner guests to the actual rehearsal?  We won't actually be walking down the aisle or repeating vows or anything, just getting ideas for where everything should go.

Also, if anyone has any advice on wording for rehearsal (dinner?) invitations, it would be much appreciated!

Thanks in advance

Rockerchick842

I've seen it done both ways before. We aren't inviting any OOT guests except those in the WP to the rehearsal or dinner because ALL of FI family is OOT and we would have about 100-125 people at the RD. I think it's up to you whether to invite the OOT guests to the actual rehearsal, but just the dinner might be best.

ckollstedt

Thanks ladies!  I was looking up wording for RD invitations, and all I could find was "Rehearsal is at X time at Y location, Dinner is at Z time.  Let us know if you can make it" (I'm paraphrasing there lol).  That got me scared that EVERY guest invited to the rehearsal dinner had to be invited to the rehearsal itself.  And since ours really isn't much of a rehearsal, I didn't know if I would be making an etiquette mistake by only inviting them to the dinner part.  

Kristin789

>>My question is, should I invite the OOT rehearsal dinner guests to the actual rehearsal?  

No.
You don't invite anyone to the rehearsal.
You tell the people who are in the wedding ceremony when/where the rehearsal will be, and those people show up.
This is not open to the public, and invitations aren't sent.

>>Also, if anyone has any advice on wording for rehearsal

I had a friend send her FMIL several suggestions on wording the rehearsal dinner invitations, and several font/design suggestions too.  And the FMIL really chewed her butt for telling FMIL what to do.  FMIL made sure the bride knew that FMIL had hosted many dinner parties in the past, and she certainly did know how to choose and send invitations, etc.  You don't want to have this happen to you.  Let FMIL and the groom make the decisions for the RD - it's the only thing the groom's side hosts in a whole weekend of activities.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-rehearsal-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4539cc3a-9e72-45fb-bc12-20bf4d34d774Post:63aeb0a9-14a4-4da5-bfec-4bfd83fba4ee">Re: Wedding Rehearsal: Who to Invite?</a>:
[QUOTE] />>My question is, should I invite the OOT rehearsal dinner guests to the actual rehearsal?   No. You don't invite anyone to the rehearsal. You tell the people who are in the wedding ceremony when/where the rehearsal will be, and those people show up. This is not open to the public, and invitations aren't sent. >>Also, if anyone has any advice on wording for rehearsal I had a friend send her FMIL several suggestions on wording the rehearsal dinner invitations, and several font/design suggestions too.  And the FMIL really chewed her butt for telling FMIL what to do.  FMIL made sure the bride knew that FMIL had hosted many dinner parties in the past, and she certainly did know how to choose and send invitations, etc.  <strong>You don't want to have this happen to you.  Let FMIL and the groom make the decisions for the RD - it's the only thing the groom's side hosts in a whole weekend of activities.</strong><div>Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]</div><div>
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</div><div>I'm sorry, did I miss where she said that the groom's family was hosting the RD?</div><div>
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</div><div>Oh no, I didn't.  </div><div>
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Loopyseven

Kristin - Please join  us in the 21st century.  Thanks!

Beachy730

And to answer your quetions:

OOT people do not need to be invited to the ceremony rehearsal.  You could just send out invites, and include an insert for anyone involved in the ceremony about when to show up for that.  

Your RD invites can be as formal or informal as you wish.  We did a really low-key RD, and just sent out the invites on FB and through email.  

ckollstedt

Thanks again for all the great advice!  You ladies made me feel better about our RD guest list .

To Kristen789, FI's dad and stepmom are paying for the restaurant where we're having the rehearsal dinner, but that's all they're doing.  That's such a gift in itself, so I'm not complaining!  They told us "if you handle the guestlist, invitations, and timeline, we'll take care of the restaurant private room and bill.  Just let us know when and where you want it."  FI's mom gave input on the guestlist, but she's also leaving the invitations themselves to us.