Invited to a fake wedding

Starfish1990

So I'm getting married in a about a month and half. My cousin's wedding is approximately a month after ours. I just found out (althou I have suspected for some time) that his cousin is already married to this girl. They were married just over 2 years ago right before their son was born. But she wants the whole show of the wedding and so they have kept the marraige a secret from almost everyone.
She is throwing her own wedding shower and is registered all over the place. Her shower is a few weeks after mine and I was planning on just matching prices of what they do for us. but now that I know they are in fact married I feel very cheated and don't feel this is appropriate at all.
Should I just go along with it or what would be an appropriate response to this news?

OliveOilsMom

I would decline attending the shower and also the wedding if it wouldn't rock the boat too much with the family.  If this could ruin your FI's relationship with his family, I would decline to attend the shower but attend the wedding with a smallish gift or nice card. 

ski2play

My thoughts exactly Rach!

PhoneCardLady

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invited-to-a-fake-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:45b3f0ad-5f7d-4515-83a1-eedfdba82212Post:a85bd5e7-d43a-49fe-9f98-a28c609d74b8">Re: Invited to a fake wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]This is like...the bazillionth post about fake weddings today. Maybe you should read the threads below that are about the same damn topic.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

If you would have noticed, this was her<strong> first</strong> post.

gurrlballa10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invited-to-a-fake-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:45b3f0ad-5f7d-4515-83a1-eedfdba82212Post:4518a83f-4bfa-40fd-bfba-0dfad74d6813">Re: Invited to a fake wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invited to a fake wedding : Because she gets her eyeballs after posting more? Please.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

bahahahaha...OMG Rach.  I just died LOL at my desk. 

dumdumfroggie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invited-to-a-fake-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:45b3f0ad-5f7d-4515-83a1-eedfdba82212Post:e5e8bbd8-c40d-4ea9-bd2a-7e592710625a">Re: Invited to a fake wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invited to a fake wedding : If you would have noticed, this was her first post.
Posted by PhoneCardLady[/QUOTE]

<div>What does this have to do with anything?  This is the 3rd post on this front page alone with the phrase "fake wedding" in the title.  It's not hard to read through titles.</div>

gurrlballa10

Oh, I'm with you on that sentiment.  But that ish was funny.  I'm still chuckling over it.  I'm seriously glad I work alone right now. 

jessicaraye87

wow she is new to this and just asked a simple question. If you dont want to read about fake weddings then don't click on the post with fake wedding in the title. People are on this website for help and ideas not to be bashed by strangers over asking a simple question which seems to be bothering alot of people lately.
So why dont you girls find something else to do other than bash some young girl.

As far as she is concerned just ignore the extremely rude comments and do what you feel is approiate and will not hurt you. I would still get a small gift that you can afford. Especially if they will still be serving dinner at the party.

strlzfan11

Ditto Rach (on all counts).

OP- decline the shower invitation and go to the wedding if declining will get you in hot water with the family (but don't send a gift).

strlzfan11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invited-to-a-fake-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:45b3f0ad-5f7d-4515-83a1-eedfdba82212Post:7c13b2d6-b5ff-4f93-94c0-145a9069d538">Re: Invited to a fake wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invited to a fake wedding : I weep for what the E board has become.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

Seriously!

Loopyseven

All of this. And since yiu're new. Take a look through the first page or two of threads to see if your question has already been answered. It will go a long way towards getting better responses if we haven't already answered similar questions three times today.

Avion22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invited-to-a-fake-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:45b3f0ad-5f7d-4515-83a1-eedfdba82212Post:568e26f0-13a5-44e4-bdf1-b53226832193">Re: Invited to a fake wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]wow she is new to this and just asked a simple question. If you dont want to read about fake weddings then don't click on the post with fake wedding in the title. People are on this website for help and ideas not to be bashed by strangers over asking a simple question which seems to be bothering alot of people lately. So why dont you girls find something else to do other than bash some young girl. As far as she is concerned just ignore the extremely rude comments and do what you feel is approiate and will not hurt you. I would still get a small gift that you can afford. Especially if they will still be serving dinner at the party.
Posted by jessicaraye87[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>Not to be mean, but you have FOUR POSTS.  FOUR.   Who are you to tell a new person not to listen to what the ladies on this board are telling them???</div>

jemmini6

OP, please lurk a little bit before posting.  As PPs pointed out, this question (or ones very similar to it) have already been posted today, so you would have received your answer without needing to make a new post.  As you can imagine, it gets redundant for the regular posters to answer the same question over and over again, especially in one day, which is why repeat questions tend to get snarky responses.

But since you asked, I tend to not be as harsh a critic of 'fake' weddings as others here as long as everyone involved is honest, but when lies are involved, it really chaps my ass, so I'd probably completely ignore the invitation.  I wouldn't attend anything related to this event, nor would I even send a card.

ski2play

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invited-to-a-fake-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:45b3f0ad-5f7d-4515-83a1-eedfdba82212Post:568e26f0-13a5-44e4-bdf1-b53226832193">Re: Invited to a fake wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]wow she is new to this and just asked a simple question. If you dont want to read about fake weddings then don't click on the post with fake wedding in the title. People are on this website for help and ideas not to be bashed by strangers over asking a simple question which seems to be bothering alot of people lately.<strong> So why dont you girls find something else to do other than bash some young girl.</strong> As far as she is concerned just ignore the extremely rude comments and do what you feel is approiate and will not hurt you. I would still get a small gift that you can afford. Especially if they will still be serving dinner at the party.
Posted by jessicaraye87[/QUOTE]

How did you determine from the OP that she is a young girl?  Was it that she thought she was a special snowflake and her situation was oh so unique?  Was it the tit for tat present comment?  Or wait, was it because the original poster felt cheated? 

Jess, you should probably take the same advice we are giving OP, lurk a little more.  And just curious, she should bring a small gift that she can afford especially if they are still serving dinner?  What is your logic there?  A reception is a thank you to the guests, a gift to the bride and groom is not required.

jessicaraye87

First off there are posts about fake weddings but none are the same as her situation. I guessed she is young because her name includes 1990 that would make here 21 or 22. She joined today so she most likely joined just to ask this question and you all probably scared her away. 

Yes I have 4 posts because unlike most of you from what I can tell I work while im at work. I do not have time to troll around being mean to people with actual lives. 

Im done with this site as I hope she is because for an etiquette board I have never seen such rude women. 

Say whatever you would like because obviously that is all you have to live for.

Meghannsix

Am I the only one who thinks maybe Jess and OP are the same person?

Avion22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invited-to-a-fake-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:45b3f0ad-5f7d-4515-83a1-eedfdba82212Post:c79e94bf-593b-4f58-adf5-927a612d51b3">Re: Invited to a fake wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]First off there are posts about fake weddings but none are the same as her situation. I guessed she is young because her name includes 1990 that would make here 21 or 22. She joined today so she most likely joined just to ask this question and you all probably scared her away.  Yes I have 4 posts because unlike most of you from what I can tell I work while im at work. I do not have time to troll around being mean to people with actual lives.  Im done with this site as I hope she is because for an etiquette board I have never seen such rude women.  Say whatever you would like because obviously that is all you have to live for.
Posted by jessicaraye87[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>FIne, take your ball and go home.</div><div>
</div><div>

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