Wedding Etiquette Forum

Parents' SOs & parents' flowers

So I'm at the point where I'm about to sign a contract for my wedding flowers (one more item to check off the list!) and I've found myself a bit stuck on a single issue. We are getting bouts/corsages for our mothers' and fathers', as well as for my FH's stepfather and stepmother (since they have been in his life for the last 15 years).

This morning, something dawned upon me. My parents each have a significant other who they have been dating for about a year (shortly after my parents divorced). It had never occured to me to get them parents' flowers because they aren't my parents and I've hardly ever met either of them. But then it occured to me that it might cause sore feelings if they didn't get parents' flowers... even though they're not my parents, and not even my parents' spouses. So...

*Groom's mother/father: yes flowers!
*Bride's mother/father: yes flowers!
*Groom's stepparents: yes flowers!
*Bride's parents' significant others: flowers?

So, in my situation, would you get them parents' flowers anyways? I'm leaning towards "yes", since its probably a lot more likely that they would feel left out when all the other members of the "parents + partners" groups have flowers and they don't, rather than anybody raise an eyebrow about non-parents having parents' flowers.

So, what do you think? All input is welcome!
Anniversary

Re: Parents' SOs & parents' flowers

  • I'd say in the scheme of things, it's a pretty cheap way to keep everyone happy. I'd order them. 
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  • I'm sure they realize that you barely know them and they aren't expecting to be treated the same as parents. I would be surprised if they were offended at all by not getting flowers, even if they were married to your parents (since they've been together a year). I don't see it as an act of exclusion, any more than not getting any other guest a flower.

    Of course, if you want to get them flowers, it's a very nice gesture. If you find yourself still unsure, why not ask your bio parents what they think?
  • I would

    It's safer because no one's feelings get hurt.
  • If you would be breaking your budget to get them flowers, don't do it. 

    However, if you can afford it it might be a nice gesture.  I would call up your parents and ask them either weather they think their SO would like flowers.  Recognize that while you don't know them well, you understand they are important people in your parents lives, and ask if they think they would like flowers.  Bonus points if you can give them a day to talk if over with their SO's. 

    That way, you know you did exactly what is making everyone most happy. 
  • I would ask your parents what they'd prefer.  
  • Ask your parents what they want, although like Duds, I don't think its really necessary.  I also definitely think it would be really easy to add on a corsage/bout later.
  • I would definitely talk to your parents about this. I know that we are providing a bout for my mother's bf, but only after talking with my mother and clarifying that is what he would want. I wouldn't want to have him wear one and afterwards find out that he would find it semi awkward because he's not 'one of the parents' lol KWIM?
  • We did. My dad and his girlfriend had been together for about 3 years, so I got her a corsage and had my brother walk her down the aisle.
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