Rehearsal Dinner Guests

kcbee

We are having a lot of out of town guests, mostly family, coming to our wedding. We really wanted our rehearsal dinner to be intimate, relaxed, low key, etc. Is it okay to not invite the out of town family? I worry that my fiance's uncles and families that we are close to would be offended, especially because they will probably be in town the night of the rehearsal dinner...but I don't feel like we can invite uncles and families, and not other OOT family.

We are hosting a brunch the day after the wedding and everyone from OOT will be invited. 

brilibby4

I think its fine.

Angel8787

Dont feel obligated to invite other parts of the family. This is a "rehearsal" dinner. The people you are thanking to be part of your big day. Your party, your rules. Just because people are coming from out of town, doesnt mean you have to invite the entire family. The brunch is a good idea for the entire family to catch up anda chance to include everyone.

Hope this helps your decision

emhemmelgarn

I know what you mean because my family is very conscious about the out of town guests! If you don't want them at the rehearsal, maybe suggest something fun for them to experience while you host the rehearsal!

ElisabethJoanne

I agree with the consensus. Just make your intentions known politely as soon as you can.

My grandfather was surprised to BE invited to my cousin's rehearsal dinner because he wasn't in the wedding party. But then he was surprised to NOT be invited to my rehearsal dinner, because...

I don't know, I guess because after my cousin's rehearsal dinner, he thought grandparents had to be invited.

My family's laid back about these things and switched some things around, but if not, we would have said way early, "Umm, all you out-of-town relatives?! Elisabeth's future in-laws don't plan to have you at the rehearsal dinner, which is totally their call, of course. So, you should all figure out something to do that evening yourselves."

jmayinc

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-guests-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4726c790-69d5-4ff5-ae2f-6bccb07466a3Post:f85adb37-a3e5-4718-b694-7c7a6a089275">Re: Rehearsal Dinner Guests</a>:
[QUOTE]I know what you mean because my family is very conscious about the out of town guests! If you don't want them at the rehearsal, <strong>maybe suggest something fun for them to experience while you host the rehearsal!</strong>
Posted by emhemmelgarn[/QUOTE]

I would say the bolded is a good idea!

DramaGeek

We invited the OOTers simply because they were staying with my parents, didn't have a vehicle, and we felt it would be rude to tell them they were on their own for dinner in a city they'd never been to before. Assuming your OOT guests are not staying with you or your family and will have a way to get to dinner, you're fine.