Wedding Etiquette Forum

Forever single guests

I am not sure how to invite guests that are always single. At this point in time, we are starting to get a rough head count to look at venues. Some of my FI friends are single, have been since we met them over 2 years ago. We have attended weddings with them in the past and they always go stag. FI thinks we can just invite them alone, I think we should probably include "guest".

We are WAY out from our wedding date or even sending out invites but there are quite a few stags coming. I don't want to overestimate or underestimate. Opinions?
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Re: Forever single guests

  • I would include a guest.. alot can change in a year and 9 months =)
  • You're worrying way too early.  See if they're in a serious relationship about 15 months from now. 
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  • How many "forever single" guests are you talking about?  Surely you can give yourself some "just in case" wiggle room when looking at potential venues.

    H was one of those "forever single" guests for a long time.  Even when he was in a relationship, he often went to weddings solo.  But then he met me.  ;)
  • Well my FFIL runs one of the most reputable wedding DJ company in the Midwest. Over the holidays he said we needed to start looking at venues because it is not uncommon for places to book out 18 months in advance! I wasnt all too worried till he gave me that warning. Now all I can think about it the wedding lol. So yes, it's early. I just wanted to start to get estimates. We probably have 10 or so stags. I am fine with that wiggle room, not sure FI is though. They are his friends so he thinks he should decide on if they get a guest or not. Too bad I'm doing most of the planning, and god knows he won't be addressing the invites when the time comes lol
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  • I don't think being single for the past 2 years is an accurate way of predicting whether or not they will be single at the time of your wedding.  I was single for 3 years between my ex and when I started dating H.  H was single for 2 years after his ex/before me. 

    For now,  I would just assume that everyone will have a guest for preliminary budgeting purposes. Then if some of them really are single when invitations are ready to go out, you can probably upgrade food, etc as PP mentioned. 

    I know that you probably didn't mean anything negative by it, but the phrase "forever single" bothers me. 
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  • For number and budget purposes, I'd assume they'll all have a guest. When you get closer, you can decide if you want to invite them "and guest" if they're not seeing anyone special or not, but that's not a decision you need to make right now.

    If you've got fewer people than  you budgeted for at the time of the wedding, then you either save some cash or spend it to upgrade something else.
  • jemmini6jemmini6 member
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    edited December 2011
    For budget, assume they'll have a guest.  If, by the time you send your invites out (6 - 8 weeks before the wedding - aka a long ways away) they are still single, you do not need to include a guest and then you can consider that money saved.
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  • Looking at venues this far out is fine - we had to book our venue 16 months out to get the date we wanted, and it was already starting to fill up then.  But your guest list has some flexibility until you send out save the dates or invitations months down the road.

    For planning purposes, assume single guests will be dating and plan on inviting SO's, or look at venues and budgets that give you some wiggle room.  If you make new close friends, or if he starts dating, you want to be able to include people.  If your space and budget are so tight that one guest can make or break the event, you'll likely have bigger worries than that one guest.

    I was forever alone for 22 years, and expected to always remain so.  Now I'm planning a wedding to my boyfriend of 5 years.  Things change.
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  • Weddings are a great place to meet people to date.  My fiance and I met each other at a wedding.  I'm glad neither of us got a +1 :-)

    You are under no obligation to invite single guests with a +1, and if they go stag they may actually meet someone nice.
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  • What is common in your circle of friends and family for +1's?  As a courtesy, I would strongly recommend counting in a guest for all them in your head count estimates!  It's standard practice in our circle to have a +1 for all of the single people.  Rarely did we actually use it unless we were in serious relationships, but it was always nice to have and to know that the couple was being considerate enough to add it! 
  • I would deffinatly include "and guest".  That way if they meet someone from now until then they know that they are welcome to bring someone.
  • Like others have said, assume the +1 for budget purposes. When the time comes that you need to send out your invites, then you can decide whether or not to give that +1.
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  • I would definitely count on them having a guest when figuring things out. I was one of those forever single people, and then FI came along, caught ALL my friends by surprise... you never know what can happen in that time. 
  • I would book a venue that would accomodate the number of guests you'd have if these people did have SOs at the tiime of the wedding. If they don't, then you're fine. If they do, you're fine. You'd really only be looking at 10 extra people possible.

    If they are still single when invitations go out, I would probably invite them alone IF they would know other people at the wedding really well, preferably other people who would be single. IF they don't know anyone, I'd give them an "and guest." It sucks going to weddings alone when you know no one else. They may want to bring someone as a friend if they aren't in a relationship.
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