Wedding Etiquette Forum

Am I being unreasonable?

CN: I want one caterer(well known, stable), FMIL wants another(unknown), we're both paying.

We went to one caterer and interviewed, the food was amazing, the caterer is also really well known and a fantastic restaurant as well. They would precook the sides, and come out and grill, so the meat and some vegetables would be hot and fresh. 

Down side is the guy we were talking to seemed to be on a different page, and we had some serious communication issues with the initial quote and then the final-ish quote.(the cost for the same food was about 40 a person more, I'm still not sure what happened). My MIL to be just gave up on him and refused to answer his calls. (all prior $$ communication was through email). But I called today and got a different guy, the owner, and talked over all the stuff I wanted, he linked me to a couple menus and then we talked a bit more about some adjustments, and the price is right, I'm going to try to get another quote in writing tomorrow.


FMIL has a friend she used to work with who has a caterer business. There are no reviews on this caterer, I don't know how long she's been in business. She has a crappy website. But my FMIL liked the person, and said she's had the food before (or maybe she just heard?) and it was good. The caterer would cook in my FMIL's very small kitchen, I'm assuming all the food would have to be rewarmed, I'm not really sure how the logistics of that would even work. She's supposed bring food by next weekend so we can try it, but even if the food is amazing, that's not enough for me that it'll be amazing for 60 people the day of. Or that we'll have any sort of back up if she gets sick or something happens :/

I'm having my first stress over this wedding. I love my FMIL, but she's as strong-willed as I am, and I really need to know if the latter option is something you personally would be comfortable with, if this is a battle I should pick. 

(FI really likes the first option, but he didn't like the email thing with the different prices.)

Re: Am I being unreasonable?

  • Go with your choice

    Your FMIL shouldn't mix friendship with business
  • Home kitchen for a caterer ?

    That's not legal here
  • Go with the reputable caterer as long as you can get a quote in writing.  Just because your FMIL is friends with this woman doesn't mean she can handle cooking for a wedding, and it just sounds like too much room for things to go wrong.
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  • We could def look for other options, I'm going to try to get everything in writing tomorrow, if not then I'll keep looking. It was totally weird, this business is totally reputable so I'm wondering if the guy just got overzealous with his initial offer/quote. 
  • i think if you can get everything in writing from the first caterer, and it's everything that you want, you should go with him. if you were having a little party or even a bridal shower, the other caterer would be fine, but wedding food is VERY important and you really don't want to cut corners here. maybe you could suggest using your FMIL's friend to do the shower food?
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  • I would get the quote in person while he's writing for the original caterer.  They sound sketchy like they'll add a bunch of expenses the day of that you had no idea about.  So get in his face if you really do want to go with him. 

    There is no harm in trying the food and getting a better understanding of her business.  (as in, is it out of her own home, or is it a legitimate business).  Can't hurt to talk to her. 

    If neither make you comfortable then pick someone else - maybe that will curb your FMIL's anxiety, you guys could decide to just keep on looking together. 
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