Wedding Etiquette Forum

RSVP Date - Need some help

Hi Ladies,

So, I realize that this question is probably coming up a little early for a January 2012 wedding, but I work as a summer camp director and so my busy season (May-September) is almost upon me. I'm hoping to be able to take a break from all wedding related planning / organization but don't want to leave everything to the last few months. So, here's the question:

My mom and I have been discussing invitations and when to set the deadline for the RSVP. I know from lurking and reading older posts that typically you do whatever your caterer's deadline is plus a week or so to give you time to call the stragglers.

Our Wedding is January 14th, 2012. The location where we are having the reception says they need the final headcount / payment 14 working days before the event. That puts us at January 1st - add in one week for stragglers and we're at December 25th.

My mom says that I should move the deadline back more to avoid calling people over the holidays, when they are all spending time with their families. But even if we move it back one more week (December 19th), I'd still be calling folks on the days leading up to Christmas which kinda defeats the purpose of moving it back. And if we move it back more than that it just feels like it's so far away from the actual event.

Clearly, this is not life or death .. but it sure is making my head spin. Any thoughts? Suggestions?

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Re: RSVP Date - Need some help

  • Leave it as is.
  • Usually the RSVP date is 4 weeks before the wedding.
  • If they need 14 working days, that might mean normal M-F business days, which would put you at Dec 27 to turn in your headcount. If it's really 14 days total, that's probably Dec 31 rather than Jan 1. Double check with the venue about the date you need to give them the numbers by and put the RSVP deadline a week before that to give you time to hunt people down.
  • I'd make it the 23rd since it seems odd to me to make it on the 25th, a day when no mail is delivered :-) . If you need to follow up, I actually think over Christmas is a good time since most people have a lot of time off then and are probably more easily accessible to talk then anyway.
  • Our wedding was January 16th. We set our RSVP date as December 15th. We had plenty of time to track down missing RSVPs and avoid interrupting people during the holidays.
  • 4-6 weeks is standaard.  I think you'd be fine with December 15th or even a little bit earlier.
  • I'd do the 25th because it's an easy date to remember. Then you can call people starting the 27th or so and wish them happy holidays and see how they're doing, if you don't see them before.
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