Wedding Etiquette Forum

RSVP Etiquette: Is This Okay?

Hello, ladies!  I have a question about RSVP deadlines.  My deadline is May 15, and I have a lot of people that haven't sent their cards back yet.  There are people in mine and FI's families that aren't much for deadlines (i.e. they probably won't bother to send the card back, but will show up anyway).  

Is it okay to call guests that I haven't received responses from?  If so, when should I start making phone calls?  The caterer needs the head count by June 1.  I know this is on TK checklist, but the knot has endorsed some questionable etiquette practices before, so I just wanted to check with you all.

Thanks in advance for your advice!

Re: RSVP Etiquette: Is This Okay?

  • Start calling the 18th or 19th. You have plenty of time.
  • Yes, start calling them a couple of days after the RSVPs are due.
  • Avion22Avion22 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    Some people might intend to put them in the mail on the 15th, but since that's a Sunday, they may forget and go out on the 16th.   So yeah, if you haven't received replies by the 20th or so, start making phone calls.  
    DSC_9275
  • Thanks for posting this question. I was curious how to go about a situation such as this, now I know for in the Future!
  • You do need to wait for the RSVP date to pass before you start making calls. 
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • Thanks ladies!  I wasn't going to start calling until after the 15th, but I didn't know how much of a 'buffer period' I needed between the deadline and making the calls.  You've been very helpful! :D
  • Q.How far in advance should you send invitations? What is the proper date to ask for the reply card?
    A. Invitations should go out six weeks before the wedding -- that gives guests plenty of time to clear their schedules for the day and make travel arrangements if they are out-of-towners. It also lets you make the RSVP date a little earlier -- say three weeks before the wedding date -- so you can get a final head count and start making a seating chart (if you'll have one) before the final-week-before-the-wedding crunch begins.

    -------------------------------
    Your wedding is June 25.
    So your RSVP date is supposed to be June 4, three weeks ahead.
    Your guests have gone to many weddings so they know that you don't need the RSVPs on May 15.
    And your caterer doesn't need a hard number on June 1.  The caterer needs a SOFT number on June 1 - that's the number of people you think will be coming out of the people you invited.  Then you give the caterer a HARD number (exactly how many people to feed) two weeks ahead, or sometimes 10 days ahead.

  • if you gave them to the 15th, then they have until the 15th to respond.  if you wanted them earlier, you shoudl have put and earlier date.  it looks silly to call someone and say "where is your rsvp?" when they still have 2 weeks to send it in.
    start calling after you get your mail on May 17.  that gives two days for anyoen who mailed the rsvp ON the 15th.,
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-etiquette-this-okay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:493fcc37-4f52-482f-8363-c3057f95b210Post:1330c3ba-9b07-49dd-8f4e-f811a5756e3b">Re: RSVP Etiquette: Is This Okay?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Q. How far in advance should you send invitations? What is the proper date to ask for the reply card? A. Invitations should go out six weeks before the wedding -- that gives guests plenty of time to clear their schedules for the day and make travel arrangements if they are out-of-towners. It also lets you make the RSVP date a little earlier -- say three weeks before the wedding date -- so you can get a final head count and start making a seating chart (if you'll have one) before the final-week-before-the-wedding crunch begins. ------------------------------- Your wedding is June 25. So your RSVP date is supposed to be June 4, three weeks ahead. Your guests have gone to many weddings so they know that you don't need the RSVPs on May 15. And your caterer doesn't need a hard number on June 1.  The caterer needs a SOFT number on June 1 - that's the number of people you think will be coming out of the people you invited.  Then you give the caterer a HARD number (exactly how many people to feed) two weeks ahead, or sometimes 10 days ahead.
    Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

    Snotty much?  How do you know her caterer doesn't need a hard number by June 1?  Three weeks out is not unreasonable to need those numbers.  Even if her caterer only needed a soft number by June 1 - a June 4 RSVP date is still too late.

     

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