invited to ceremony but not reception..

landon15

I am not sure what the correct Etiquette is for something like this. I am having a small wedding, but would love for others, not invited to the reception, to be able to join us as we exchange vows, only if they want to of course. How do you girls feel about this or is there correct etiquette for something like this. TIA!

[Deleted User]

no correct etiquette for this.

lyndausvi

The reception is to thank people for attending the ceremony. You can't invite some and not others.

Even if you could, how would you even pull that off?

 Can you imagine 2 people sitting next to each other at the ceremony and one says to the other "wondering what they are serving at the reception?"

The other person says "what reception?"

Awkward.  

Audrey&Austin

You don't do this. Its incredibly rude to invite people to one part and nto the other.

Bubbalub

Everyone invited to the ceremony must be invited to the reception. The reception is a thank you to your guests for taking time out of their lives to witness you and your FI exchange vows.

Brandiewine11

Definitely not a good idea. It's incredibly rude to invite them only to the ceremony. The reception is the "thank you" for coming to the ceremony and its only proper to host all of your guests. Think about how you would feel if a friend asked you "Hey, come to my wedding, but then go home. You're not important enough for me to feed you or hang out with you after." If it's a budget issue, consider hosting an earlier cake/punch reception to accomodate everyone, or just invite those you can afford to host to the wedding. 

mandysmear

yeah.  no.

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invited-ceremony-but-not-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:49dc3fee-4f4f-4488-b4c5-2f3a03dcaa7fPost:31e62b98-75a7-4005-aa8a-1acad2951427">invited to ceremony but not reception..</a>:
[QUOTE]I am not sure what the correct Etiquette is for something like this. I am having a small wedding, but would love for others, not invited to the reception, to be able to join us as we exchange vows, only if they want to of course. How do you girls feel about this or is there correct etiquette for something like this. TIA!
Posted by landon15[/QUOTE]

No can do.

landon15

Thanks for the information girls, I wasn't sure if it was a good idea or not, but your answer def. gave me the answer.

jeslm

Definitely all or nothing.  That said, my friend (and bridesmaid)'s mom came up to me the other day and basically said "look, I know you're on a budget, and I am absolutely not here to pressure you for an invite to the wedding, but we love you, and if you're ok with it and you don't have space constraints in the church, we'd love to go to just the ceremony, to see you get married and to see our daughter stand up there with you."  It happens that I'm planning to invite these folks anyway, but still.

A friend of mine who's a teacher got married last year, and some of her students came to the ceremony who (obviously) weren't invited to the reception.  It was really sweet, they were so happy to see their teacher get married.  So there are people who may want to come to just the ceremony- you just can't send invitations that exclude people from one part or the other.

Tiger_Tammer

Typically it is a no no. I come from an area where tiered weddings are quite common though. For example, when someone at the Fire department gets married, EVERYBODY is invited to the ceremony, and then to the dance part of the reception after. None of us expect to sit for the reception meal....Others have mentioned tiered weddings on this forum previously and everyone seemed to have a problem with it. Guess it's just a location thing, kind of like double brats!

dannie134

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invited-ceremony-but-not-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:49dc3fee-4f4f-4488-b4c5-2f3a03dcaa7fPost:e097046e-334d-4df1-92e7-095748da8726">Re: invited to ceremony but not reception..</a>:
[QUOTE]Definitely all or nothing.  That said, my friend (and bridesmaid)'s mom came up to me the other day and basically said "look, I know you're on a budget, and I am absolutely not here to pressure you for an invite to the wedding, but we love you, and if you're ok with it and you don't have space constraints in the church, we'd love to go to just the ceremony, to see you get married and to see our daughter stand up there with you."  It happens that I'm planning to invite these folks anyway, but still. A friend of mine who's a teacher got married last year, and some of her students came to the ceremony who (obviously) weren't invited to the reception.  It was really sweet, they were so happy to see their teacher get married.  So there are people who may want to come to just the ceremony- you just can't send invitations that exclude people from one part or the other.
Posted by jeslm[/QUOTE]

If people show up at the ceremony and were not explicity invited, that is not an etiquette breach.  Often weddings are announced in church bulletins, and ceremonies might be considered public to some degree.  It's a different thing if you actually say, "Please come to my wedding, but not my reception."

OP sounds like you're going to do the right thing and not invite people to one but not the other.  Good choice.

danz9

As PP have state, it really is a regional thing. We here in my little town do tiered weddings where you get an invited to the ceremony and the dance.

We have lots of acquaintance here and its just to much to invite everyone when you know everyone in town.

I dance/workout with one gal getting married in June, she invited all us dancers to the wedding and dance because we arnt good friends but we spend lots of time together weekly and enjoy hanging out.

I personally do believe if they are on the invite list you are invited to everything but I get why people do tiered guest lists around here.

Lauren19.

The only way I've seen this done is if the bride or groom is a teacher and they invite their students to the ceremony but not the reception. If it's normal guests, it's kind of awkward. Now if a casual friend or colleague ASKS if they can come to the ceremony (and they know they're not on the guest list), I'd say yes.