How to invite/not directly invite people from work?

lindsaynewbride10

Ok, I'm the supervisor of my department in a medical center and have a total of 10 employees. When we actually have time to talk at work, all I ever talk about is my wedding. Here's my problem: these are nice people that I respect, but for the most of them, I really wouldn't mind if they didn't come. There's maybe one person in my department that I would be happy to attend the wedding. So here's my question: is it feasable to just post an invitation IN the department, not say a word, and then about a month before the wedding, send an email asking that anyone who planned to attend to please let me know? I'm hoping that by doing this, its a way for me to let it be known that all are invited, but not be too direct in inviting them at the same time? I'm trying not to be a bitch but to be honest there's a few that I couldn't care less about them being there- they're co-workers. I hope I've explained this as best as possible- I really don't have bad feelings about these ppl, I just would rather have friends and family there who actually KNOW me and my FI. Thanks for any input you may have!

ARod22

So you want to invite people from work, just not directly?  What exactly is an indirect invitation?

I say the answer to your question is no.  If you wish to invite somebody, send them an invitation.

golden1215

huh?

invite people you want, dont invite people you dont want. done.

andy71781

I think with an office that size you have to invite everybody or nobody.  I think that you should just invite nobody. 

lexandfab

Either formaly invite them or don't. Also stop talking about your wedding at work. With the posting/secret squirrel stuff you are making things a lot harder on yourself. If you want to try to push it a bit you could send their invites out closer to the rsvp date but honestly your just putting more stress on yourself.

lindsaynewbride10

Yea now that I've posted my situation it seems pretty obvious what to do. I'll invite the one person that I would like to have there, stop talking about it at work... I just hope no one gets p'd off that they weren't invited but "she" was... how do you deal with that if someone does ask why they weren't invited?!?

twilight.rose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitenot-directly-invite-people-work?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a16b5c8-79fb-48fb-a93a-e4d507760735Post:de1d2118-b335-4a24-923a-7a8f8b52f8f1">Re: How to invite/not directly invite people from work?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yea now that I've posted my situation it seems pretty obvious what to do. I'll invite the one person that I would like to have there, stop talking about it at work... I just hope no one gets p'd off that they weren't invited but "she" was... how do you deal with that if someone does ask why they weren't invited?!?
Posted by lindsaynewbride10[/QUOTE]

You say, "I'm so sorry, but due to space limitations/budget constraints, we just couldn't invite everyone we wish we could celebrate with" and leave it at that. There's no need for a lengthy explanation.

Your wedding is about you, your FI, and those closest to you. You don't need to justify your guest list decisions to people who may question you.

marissa_claire

Yeah, hey, no talking about wedding stuff openly to people you don't plan on inviting.  I've had some people grill me about wedding stuff, to which I'm usually vague and just say "oh it's coming along!" But you should not find that being the focal point of conversations if you don't plan on inviting these people, especially if they aren't asking for details.

Pirata13

Agree with PPs--stop talking about it at work.  And another PPs suggestion was good too--if you are going to invite that *one* person, mention that you aren't able to invite everyone. I was able to invite 3 people from my office and I made them all aware that not everyone would be invited. Not one of them spilled the beans, even when asked directly by other co-workers if they were invited. I know it's still possible that people may find out that a few were invited, and that some folks might get upset, but I'll deal with it when and if it happens.