Wedding Etiquette Forum

Speaking of wedding underwear

I can't decide whether I should buy a mermaid-style crinoline for under my dress.  They don't have one I can try on in the store to see what it looks like, so I'd have to buy it somewhere else and bring it in.

I'm kind of hating my dress right now, because last time I tried it on the lady took some not-so-flattering pictures of me in it.  I can't decide whether the crinoline would make my hips and butt look less huge or whether it would just look ridiculous.

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Re: Speaking of wedding underwear

  • its hard to say, I think the dress looks fine without it.
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  • I like it without, but I'm a visual person and have a hard time picturing it with one.
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  • I think you should wear a crinoline to give your dress its full potential.  Right now it just looks like it's laying there.
  • I think the crinoline would fluff it out and make it more flattering.

    Gorgeous dress, btw!
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  • Probably not much help, but I think it looks great even without it.  Seriously beautiful dress
  • Thanks guys.  I am just not a fan of it lately and think I look terrible in it and I'm trying to figure out a solution that does not involve me being ridiculous.

    They were totally unhelpful at the store, so I have no idea what to do.  Ugh.
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  • Do you have the dress in your possession?  You could put it on and stuff some tissue paper under the hem and see how it looks in the mirror to help you decide.  Is that a completely ridiculous idea?
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  • I think you should buy a crinny, bring it in to try on w/ the dress, and return it if you don't like how it looks.

    PS - If that is the unflattering photo you are talking about, you're nuts. You look awesome in that dress and it fits you very well!
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  • Also, you don't look terrible in it at al!
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  • And also, because the dress is so form fitting it is hard to say what it will look like with some extra poof (and if you'll be able to see the crinny lines through it.) I have no idea how that works ..my dress had built-in crinny.
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  • No, I have three classes of photos of me in my dress--flattering (when I bought it), moderately flattering (when I tried on the sample in the store in August) and hideous (when I tried on my actual dress when it came in in September.  That's the moderately flattering pic.  I think part of the problem with the unflattering ones is that my face looks ridiculous and they're at a bad angle and I'm having a bad hair day and such.  They are really bad, though.

    I just keep telling myself that it will help when it's altered.  It needs to be taken in at the bust and let out at the hips a little.  I really hate the wrinkly part under the boobs.

    Sorry for venting.

    Maybe I'll do the buy-and-return thing.  The dress is being stored at the store for now, so I don't have it in my possession to experiment too much.
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  • I think buying and returning if you don't like it is your best bet. If you don't buy it and try it out, you'll never know if it would have looked better with it (though I think it looks great as is!)
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  • Yeah, good point.

    Ugh, I wish I had someone I could bring with me to the store to look at it in person.  Stupid Kansas City.
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  • Hmm. Maybe a consultant at the store could give you their opinion? I'd suggest asking a coworker to come along, but a) are you even that close with any coworkers yet? and b) it might be weird asking them to come if you aren't inviting them to the wedding (I'm assuming you aren't?)
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  • Yeah, the store was great when I was buying the dress, but last time I went in, because they now have all my money, they didn't really seem interested in helping much.

    And no, we're not inviting any co-workers so that would be weird.  FI has a few aunts in the area, but I'm not that close to them.  I want my mom!  :(
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  • Aw. Well next time you go, try on the crinny and take some pictures and post them here. You know we'll be honest. :)

    PS - I don't mean to threadjack, but I wanted to ask you how your job was going and how you are liking it.
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  • my dress had kind of had a mermaid fit. i tried on one of those slips when i was trying on dresses. i did not need it with the dress i bought, but i could not believe how much it enhanced some of the dresses i tried on.
    the dress store should have one for you to try on, if not i suggest asking your alterations person or buying one (with the ability to return it). just try it on and see what you think. i really liked the look with some of the dresses i tried. And they were pretty much a similar style to yours-fitted with lace.
    good luck!


  • Yuck, they are like $70 on eBay!  Gross!

    Job is going well.  I have bad days, but I really like it a lot of the time.  It can be really hit or miss, but it's really rewarding.  The only drawback is that all of my co-workers are much older and married with kids, so I'm not really making social friends with anyone.  They're nice, but not exactly the go shopping on the weekend type.

    How about you?  I got your FB message today, glad I could help and good luck with the grad school stuff!
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  • Amory, your pics are all gorgeous.  I love your dress!  Thanks for the input--I really love the mermaid shape and I don't want the widest part of the dress to be my ass!
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  • $70!? Yikes. Are there any other local bridal shops that you could contact about the crinny?

    Same for me too job-wise - it's hit or miss. Some days are great and I really think to myself, "Wow, look at the difference I am making in these kids' daily lives" and other days I just want to scream at them. It's like I give give give and they take take take and don't appreciate anything we do for them. It's frustrating, but I keep reminding myself that they aren't 100% in control of themselves and that it's not anything personal against me.

    And thanks for help! One of the application packages is due Dec 14th and all I need is 1 more letter of rec in the mail and I can send in the rest of my stuff. :)
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  • Yay, exciting!  It's nerve-wracking waiting to hear back, but I'll have my fingers crossed!
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    two years!
    after two losses, now happily expecting baby #1 09.16.12
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  • Brie - The way this program works is I send in everything and if they like me, they invite me to 2 interview days in Feb/March. There, I would meet with several grad assistantship representatives (grad assistantship is required and a big part of the program) and then would fill out my top 3 choices. They also do the same. If there is a good match for me, I will be offered a grad assistantship and if I accept, then I am officially in the program. So, my guess is that I'd find out in Jan/Feb about the interviews. :-\
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  • thank you, i still love the dress!
    i was afraid of the widest part being my ass too! i am short, 5' 4"- but the mermaid slip made me feel curvy and pretty and showed off the embellishment of the bottom of the gowns.
    the dress i wore pretty much had this built in.
    just try it on and see what you think. it is different, it will look and feel kind of exaggerated which i liked.
    i would check it out. and i love your dress!!
  • edited December 2009
    Brie, I love your dress. I hope you find a way to try it on with a crinny without having to buy it first.

    I had the same dilemma, as my dress was a trumpet silhouette (though not as defined as yours), and came with no under-fluff. A couple days before the wedding, I tried on a crinny in the store with my dress, and the key for me was moving around in it. I walked down the hall toward a mirror both with and without it, and the dress definitely felt and looked different. The salesgirl was like "your dress sings when you walk in it" w/o the crinny, and my BMs agreed. And this cost the salesgirl a commission to tell me this, so I believed her and didn't buy it.

    I personally was glad I didn't get it, because I was really comfortable dancing around in my dress all night, and it had so much movement to it (especially after bustling). I think I fluffed it out sufficiently for pictures, but to me that was just a small part of the night.

    Your guests are going to love your dress no matter which option you choose. You look stunning in it. Good luck!



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  • I think having a bit of extra puff will look really awesome. 

     

    When I wore my dress, I hired a hoop- I hadn't tried it with said hoop until the day of, but was so glad that I did go with the hoop as it ended up being really awesome. Although they're obviously very different dresses, I think that having something to emphasise the shape will be good. 

  • why can't the alterations person sew in tulle under the part that needs fluffing?

    definitely it needs some fluff on the bottom.
  • I think its very pretty just the way it is :)

    Doesn't the store have a crinny you could try on without committing? That is sort of weird if they don't.

    Weird suggestion but...maybe crop the "bad" photos so all you see is your neckline and the dress. That way you won't look at the bad hairday/facial expressions (which I'm sure arent bad) and be able to focus on the dress.
  • Thanks guys.

    No, they don't have a mermaid crinoline in the store for me to try, which I think is weird too.  They don't even sell them, so I'd have to buy at another store.  I don't want them to sew in the tulle because I don't know if I even like or want the extra floof yet!

    Katie, that was a great idea to crop the pictures.  I did that to a couple and it really helps.  It was insanely hot that day and I was all sweaty and my hair was a frizzball, and I had this awful grimace on my face.  I feel better now!

    I keep forgetting that alterations go both ways, too, and that I can have it let out in some places AND taken in in others.
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