Oops

aconrad2002

My bad

Bean32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_response-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a75daf6-83b2-411b-8fa7-8cad7039f801Post:0ed7aac3-3cdc-4db2-afd2-f4f79d2906a2">Re: Response etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Response etiquette : Can you just keep a running list and email him once a week to let him know who has RSVPd?  I don't see why it matters who is paying for the wedding.  My parents are paying for my wedding but I'm the one dealing with the RSVPs.
Posted by bree4305[/QUOTE]

This. It's his wedding and he is probably curious about who will be there/won't be there. My parents are paying for the wedding, but all the RSVPs are coming to me because they didn't want to deal with it. I love getting the mail each day and seeing who will be with us for the wedding. I imagine that he feels the same excitement.

achiduck

Well since the seating chart will need to be done, they'll need to know who is coming.

Also, I agree with Bree, why does it matter who's paying? It's their wedding and they have every right to know who will and won't be attending. Just send a weekly update.

hlq2011

Ditto PPs.  You may be paying, but it's still his wedding and he has a right to know who's coming.

Who is putting together the seating chart, escort cards, favors?

opalsky007

Regardless of who is paying, your future son in law has no doubt invited friends and family who are close to him, and whom he is excited to have witness his marriage. I'd be disappointed if he didn't want to know who would be coming. 

Take it as a sign that  he views the day he marries your daughter as a hugely important one in both of their lives.

tenofcups4me

How could it possibly be "poor taste" for him to want to know who's attending his own wedding? I can't imagine you're THAT busy that you don't have time for a phone call or email every couple of days with an update.

dragossoul84

Why are you getting the RSVP's? No matter whos paying its your daughter and your future son in laws wedding. My favorite part of my day is getting my rsvps to see who will make out of our family and friends. I cant wait to see everyone together

bczican77

My parents are getting our RSVP's only because I think my mom is more excited about the wedding than I am! LOL  So I just had the RSVP's sent to her. For that reason, I asked that she let me know who RSVP's. So, I get an email from her everytime someone sends in their RSVP (whether it be Yes or No).  I just want to know who is going to be there and who won't. It's an exciting day for us, so it's cool to know who will be celebrating with us.  My mom has never mentioned that this is a hardship on her.  I'm guessing if it was, she wouldn't have asked that she receive the RSVPs in the first place. :-)

opalsky007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_response-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a75daf6-83b2-411b-8fa7-8cad7039f801Post:907905e5-44b8-45c8-b2f6-897e35adc93e">Re: Response etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Why are you getting the RSVP's? No matter whos paying its your daughter and your future son in laws wedding. My favorite part of my day is getting my rsvps to see who will make out of our family and friends. I cant wait to see everyone together
Posted by dragossoul84[/QUOTE]

<div>It is traditional for whoever is hosting to receive the RSVPs, though some people don't do this anymore. But that doesn't mean that the person receiving the RSVPs has to keep the information to themselves.</div><div>
</div><div>OP, I understand that it's stressful and that this can feel like "just one more thing to do". But keep in mind that everyone's excited! This is a happy time.</div>

jessicabessica

I don't know how you're keeping track of RSVPs, but one thing you can do is put them into a spreadsheet in Google docs that you can share with your daughter and future son-in-law.  That way they can see the up-to-date RSVP list whenever they want without bugging you to send them an email or call them with an update.  

We have our guestlist on Google docs, which is how we worked on it with my parents, and my FI and I are getting the RSVPs, but we'll keep track on the spreadsheet so my parents (and his, if they're interested) can see, too.  I'm sure there are other online tools for doing this, but Google docs is jut like using Excel, and it's pretty simple to create, modify, and share things.  

Good luck!

bamagal89

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_response-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a75daf6-83b2-411b-8fa7-8cad7039f801Post:9ec5e325-d159-4cdc-9443-2d4c7a0987d8">Re: Response etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know how you're keeping track of RSVPs, but one thing you can do is put them into a spreadsheet in Google docs that you can share with your daughter and future son-in-law.  That way they can see the up-to-date RSVP list whenever they want without bugging you to send them an email or call them with an update.   We have our guestlist on Google docs, which is how we worked on it with my parents, and my FI and I are getting the RSVPs, but we'll keep track on the spreadsheet so my parents (and his, if they're interested) can see, too.  I'm sure there are other online tools for doing this, but Google docs is jut like using Excel, and it's pretty simple to create, modify, and share things.   Good luck!
Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

This is what we did and it worked great!  My parent's received the RSVPs (I'm still in school and don't really have a place to put them in my apt) and my mom would update the Google Doc everyday.  It puts any updated docs in Bold so you know which ones have been changed and I was excited to look and see who would be sharing the day with us!

waitingformay

+1 to the Google Doc. It's a great way to have everyone on the same page.

DNAtime

I also endorse the google doc, you can give them viewing access or editing access.

I have done this with our guest list and our budget.  My FI and I can edit and both sets of parents can view at any time. 

It prevents a lot of annoying questions, just check the google docs!