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Family Drama! HELP!

My fiance and I thought long and hard about our bridal party before making a decision.  In the end we decided not to inlude his sisters as bridesmaids due to their ages (16 and 10).  Instead we are incorporating them in many different ways such as introducing them at the weddng, having a special dance with them, and having them each do a reading at the ceremony.

On a side note...these are my fiance's half sisters (they share the same father).  To further complicate things, his dad is now divorced from their mom.  In an effort to be polite, we decided to invite this woman (his ex-step mother) to the engagement party.  We also had planned on inviting her to the wedding (we have not sent out invites yet).

Unfortunately the ex-step mother has thrown a fit for two reasons: Number one being that her daughters are not bridesmaids. Number two being that we do not want her help planning the wedding.  She has become extremely controlling and has sent us several harrasing and rude emails.  After trying to reason with her several times and speaking with her on the phone and explaining that this is our wedding, she will not stop. 

She has now said that she is not coming to the engagement party unless we follow all her advice and involve her in the planning of the wedding AND make her daughters bridesmaids.  At this point we do not want anything to do with her and she is uninvited to the wedding and engagement party and out of our lives as far as we are concerned.

My question is two fold:

1. Is it really that serious that we did not include his (half) sisters as bridesmaids? We feel that since we are including them in other ways, it is ok.  We also feel it is our choice.

2. How do we get this woman out of our lives? Ignoring her is not working.  She continues to harrass us and we are very worried that she will try to sabotauge our engagement party and/or wedding.

On another note she has also stated that her children are not allowed in our lives because we are so disrespectful.  My Fiance's father is trying to work on this, but he does not have primary custody of the girls.

Why do weddings bring out the CRAZY in people?!

HELP!
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