Gram's Ring

daffydillie

I have a dilemma and I dont know what to do.

I inherited my Gram's ring. It was intended for me to have reset to use as an engagement ring for if/when I got married. Currently it is in a safety deposit box. I wear it for super specail occasions and have it cleaned and returned to its safety deposit box.

When I moved I took it to a new jeweler to have it cleaned. I asked him to check the settings and to my dismay he had some really bad news for me. The ring is bent (I knew this it is visible), was cut and the solder is actually almost gone, the wedding band that was supposed to be white gold is not and it is pitted and cracking, and the solder is eatting the white gold of the engagement band. It is one of those locking sets you can have solder together. So overall this ring is in rough shape, however the diamonds are gorgeous.

The jeweler offered to attempt to reconstruct it and would do it while I sat there so I knew he did not take the diamonds. He said he would pretty much have to tear apart the whole ring to fix it. It would cost about $600 to fix. But I felt like this option kinda of ruined me "keeping" her ring since when he would be done it would not really be her ring.

I had originally thought I would have the ring more or less cut in half to have it made into a necklace but again with the damage I am not sure this would be a feasible option.

My last choice is reseting the ring and combining it into my engagement ring. FI thinks its a good idea since that is what it was intended for anyways. I did not know this but the ring FI got me is almost the exact same setting as my Gram's ring with only subtle differences.

I tried talking to my grandfather but he and my gram were divorced and my mother has him convinved I sold it. My mother keeps trying to take the ring at all costs so talking to her is out too.

What do you ladies think?

TheSlowskys

why dont you talk to another jeweler?

maggieandrey

If you already have an engagement ring, why not have the diamond set in a different piece of jewelry? Maybe something you'd wear more often? If the ring itself was compromised, setting the diamond in something else may be easier for the jeweler anyway.

But, disclaimer, I'm weird and superstitious-y about wearing a ring from a marriage that didn't work as the ring for my own.

daffydillie

You can physically see the damage he is talking about and it is obviously being eatten by the solder they used. He showed me under their magnifying glass thingie and after we took it out from under there you can see it with the naked eye. The wedding band part is turning black. Its just in such terrible shape The other jewelers I have talked to have pretty much said it isnt salvagable. He was the first one that offered to try and work on it.

daffydillie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grams-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4b338ab8-c1bf-469a-9ca3-a402f60afce1Post:a917f1ee-911f-4c58-85ce-318ac55e1672">Re: Gram's Ring</a>:
[QUOTE]If you already have an engagement ring, why not have the diamond set in a different piece of jewelry? Maybe something you'd wear more often? If the ring itself was compromised, setting the diamond in something else may be easier for the jeweler anyway. But, disclaimer, I'm weird and superstitious-y about wearing a ring from a marriage that didn't work as the ring for my own.
Posted by maggieandrey[/QUOTE]

I get that. I kinda was too. I guess the only reason I see this different is my grandmother passed before the divorce was final final (the papers were still in the judges chambers waiting a signature) and my pap still carries her picture in his wallet kind of thing.

rsanna

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grams-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4b338ab8-c1bf-469a-9ca3-a402f60afce1Post:422719d7-af95-461f-a10b-eaa3af64bf5c">Re: Gram's Ring</a>:
[QUOTE]why dont you talk to another jeweler?
Posted by TheSlowskys[/QUOTE]

How is that helpful?  She at the very least said it was visibily bent, so obviously there is damage to it. 

OP, how much does the ring mean to you?  I know for some people have the actual ring, if it is reconstructed, is really important to them.  On the other hand, if it is just because it reminds you of your grandma the necklace idea or combining it with your current ring would be a great idea. Personally, I think that if you wear necklaces frequently enough that turning it into a necklace can be a very sweet sentiment.

daffydillie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grams-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4b338ab8-c1bf-469a-9ca3-a402f60afce1Post:c5309e1a-d89e-4956-880b-c5263adf7cc7">Re: Gram's Ring</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gram's Ring : How is that helpful?  She at the very least said it was visibily bent, so obviously there is damage to it.  OP, how much does the ring mean to you?  I know for some people have the actual ring, if it is reconstructed, is really important to them.  On the other hand, if it is just because it reminds you of your grandma the necklace idea or combining it with your current ring would be a great idea. Personally, I think that if you wear necklaces frequently enough that turning it into a necklace can be a very sweet sentiment.
Posted by rsanna[/QUOTE]

It does mean a lot ot me. Thats why I was trying to save "her" ring but it is really starting to look like I am going to have to destroy "her" ring to save it. I feel pretty crappy about it. Even if I let it set the other metal is just going to eat the other part of the ring and it is just going to get worse.

However on the other hand, she did give it to me with the intention of me resetting it so I am trying not to feel bad if that is the route I end up taking. I was thinking of taking both rings down to the guy and seeing what he could do to keep at least some of the style of her ring an incorporate it somehow into the ring FI got me. FI thought I was just going to have my Grams ring reset into the setting he bought me so he is completely ok with this idea.

Loopyseven

I'd have the stones reset into something you can wear more regularly.  I got a pearl ring when my great grandmother passed, and the setting was in pretty rough shape.  I had the pearls reset into another setting, and I wear the ring regularly and think of my great grandmother when I do.  I wore it as my something old (the pearld were old.. ) on my wedding day.  The memories for me weren't tied to the settings.  

AbbeyS2011

Why not work with a jewelry designer on a new setting, one that is in some way representative of your grandmother?  You could have her stones set into a new ring, and a nice memorial of sorts. 

TheSlowskys

I read the op to bd concerned that the repair was 600. That's why I suggested speaking to another jeweler.

daffydillie

Thanks ladies. I think I am going to go back and talk to him about resetting it. I just felt pretty crappy about it for awhile.

lauralaur

OP it sounds like your grandmother's intention was that you wear it and it doesn't sound like you can do that in it's current state. My suggestion would be to do whatever will turn it into the piece of jewelry you will wear most frequently, be that a necklace, bracelet, or a reconstructed ring.

lyndausvi

I would do options 2 or 3.  More than likely option 3.    I think I would prefer to have 2 separate pieces each with their own stories.   I do like the idea of option 2.  

I would not fix something into a setting that is already similar to what you already have.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Wait, if you FI bought you a setting, planning on putting the stones from your grandmother's ring into it... what happened? Why can't you do that?