Pastor/Officiant Donation?

mamabear329

So, I'm new to this whole thing...the knot, and wedding planning in general. We are planning our wedding in 6 months, due to my father's failing health, since we want him to at least be able to witness our wedding in some way, even if he can't walk me down the aisle or give me away. We found a local pastor who will officiate for our low budget backyard wedding...when asked about a fee, he said he doesn't charge one but will take donations. That being said, what is the generally accepted amount for a donation? We are on very limited funds here and really can't afford to hand over a massive check to the church, but I also don't want to be stingy or take advantage...

Any help would be appreciated!

DramaGeek

I don't know about your area, but around here it's usually $100-200.  However, do what you can afford.

mica178

Consider posting on your local board to get an idea of what a pastor in your area gets paid for a non-church wedding.  Things to consider would include how many times you meet with him/her prior to the wedding, because that time should be compensated.  I think my church (in Menlo Park, CA) recommended $125 for the pre-wedding counseling and $150 for the priest's actual services (and we tipped on top of that).

But of course, give what you can afford.  That being said, without your pastor/officiant, there'd be no wedding, so don't go too cheap.  I'd rather cut out favors or some other frivolity than short-change someone whose presence is essential for the day.

Summer2011Bride

We donated $200 and had two officiants from H's church at our wedding. I would also post on your local board to get a feel for what is most common in your area.

achiduck

We're getting married at my church and have to pay a $250 officiant fee, $100 for the cleaners and $100 for the sexton (dude that rings the bells, opens and closes the church, etc). We did save $250 rental fee b/c I'm a member of the church. Even so we are still donating $100 to the Pastor's Discretionary Fund.

sbradke

On a related note, when do you give the pastor the check?

HandBanana

Weddings in churches c as n be cheaper. My cousin is doing an outdoor ceremony and she has to pay for equipment rental, seats, sound equipment, etc. I agree about checking your local board. Also, do you have maybe a family friend who could officiate?

mamabear329

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pastorofficiant-donation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4b4432b1-2ef5-4c5c-8909-43ca85bb34b3Post:1f6ca7b4-d2df-487c-b711-61aa1164527d">Re: Pastor/Officiant Donation?</a>:
[QUOTE]On a related note, when do you give the pastor the check?
Posted by sbradke[/QUOTE]

Ditto on that one....when is appropriate to do so?

As for our wedding, we're just using the pastor himself for our backyard wedding (i.e. no usage of the church facilities, and no pre counseling). Thanks for all the suggestions...I think I will post on the local board as well to see if anyone else has used this particular pastor.

Thanks!

HandBanana

My husband paid the priest in full at the church.  This was after we flat our asked him and he just told us to bring it tthe day of.