Escort cards

Mrw218

So the deed is done but I have to ask-
I am having the response cards double as escort cards. Basically my seating was real easy and worked out great so when I sent out response cards each one has a different pic of fiancé and I that corresponds to your table. So I am just taking the returned response cards and displaying them at reception for escort cards bc ppl wrote their names on them and dinner choice. Anyhow here is the kicker that I thought of after the fact. The return by date is on the card and we did an a/b group so ppl if they are looking may notice that and it may look like I'm trying to beat ppl over the head w here this was your initial dinner choice don't change don't screw it up. So just curious bad form? Not looking for opinions. I am looking for fact from ppl who actually know etiquette bc well I do not claim to. In fact learned a lot from this board.

Leeny14

Stated simply, A/B group is rude. Letting your guests know which group they are in is worse. If you can't or won't undo this, you can hope that your guests are equally unaware of etiquette regarding this. I would notice and would not stay. Good luck.

Winnertag1

I wouldnt use the response cards as place cards especially if you have the dates & there were B invites. I would notice if someone beside me had any earlier response date & I would be offended. Since the deed is already done and you have already done the A/B invites I would try not to flaunt it - remake your placemates. 

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_escort-cards-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4b630392-1790-4215-b1f6-00f4ec821bd7Post:8618bfe6-3924-4f04-97b3-dda8a977dcfa">Escort cards</a>:
[QUOTE]So the deed is done but I have to ask- I am having the response cards double as escort cards. Basically my seating was real easy and worked out great so when I sent out response cards each one has a different pic of fiancé and I that corresponds to your table. So I am just taking the returned response cards and displaying them at reception for escort cards bc ppl wrote their names on them and dinner choice. Anyhow here is the kicker that I thought of after the fact. The return by date is on the card and we did an a/b group so ppl if they are looking may notice that and it may look like I'm trying to beat ppl over the head w here this was your initial dinner choice don't change don't screw it up. So just curious bad form? Not looking for opinions. I am looking for fact from ppl who actually know etiquette bc well I do not claim to. In fact learned a lot from this board.
Posted by Mrw218[/QUOTE]

Very bad form (the date part, not your dinner choice concern).  Make new cards.

ETA: And by "the deed is done" I guess you're talking about the A/B list?  Because it's not too late to "hide" the fact that you ranked your guests by making the new place cards. 

HandBanana

I don't understand how the deed is done. You should go to Michaels or Hobby Lobby and get a few packages of blank tented escort cards and fix this.

brilibby4

A/B lists are very rude.  You should definitely make or buy new escort cards. 

LeiselEB

Make new cards.

crash2729

Make new cards or prepare for some hurt feelings when people ealize they were b-listed.

pkontk

No, you can't undo the A and B listing, but you can keep people from knowing that they were B listed. It really won't take much time to make new escort cards, especially if you just buy new plain ones and write in the names, table number, and meal choice.

Mrw218

Yeah that's what I thought too. Just forgot to leave dates off of the response cards when I made them. So if I had left the date off would it be ok to use response cards as escort cards?

Mrs.B6302007

Yes, using the actual RSVP cards would have worked if the date issue wasn't there.

Mrw218

Oh and by deed is done I did mean escort cards bc I already had the stuff printed but in thinking about I obviously could fix via the various methods described already. I have been back and forth over the past month, when i realized my mistake, thinking about abandoning my original idea hence why I posted here. You know if everyone didn't seem to care on here then why would I waste the time or money but if everyone was opposed like is obviously the case then I would change.....so thanks. I wouldn't have posted ques if I was already decided on what I was going to do regardless even though i wrote the op stupidly making it look like I had.

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_escort-cards-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4b630392-1790-4215-b1f6-00f4ec821bd7Post:2cdfcb83-b017-494f-960f-04a4fb633102">Re:Escort cards</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh and by deed is done I did mean escort cards bc I already had the stuff printed but in thinking about I obviously could fix via the various methods described already. I have been back and forth over the past month, when i realized my mistake, thinking about abandoning my original idea hence why I posted here. You know if everyone didn't seem to care on here then why would I waste the time or money but if everyone was opposed like is obviously the case then I would change.....so thanks.<strong> I wouldn't have posted ques if I was already decided on what I was going to do regardless </strong>even though i wrote the op stupidly making it look like I had.
Posted by Mrw218[/QUOTE]

You would be surprised by how many of these "gonna do it anyway but I want to know if it's okay" validation type posts we get around here.

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_escort-cards-17?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4b630392-1790-4215-b1f6-00f4ec821bd7Post:e3705ad0-e215-4516-b493-85ef884763aa">Re:Escort cards</a>:
[QUOTE]Stated simply, A/B group is rude. Letting your guests know which group they are in is worse. If you can't or won't undo this, you can hope that your guests are equally unaware of etiquette regarding this. I would notice and would not stay. Good luck.
Posted by Leeny14[/QUOTE]

You wouldn't STAY?  After traveling there?  Perhaps buying an outfit?  Sitting through the ceremony?  You'd be so offended that you wouldn't at least stay to get some food and booze?  I mean, I understand your offense, but that's not even logical.

Leeny14

JK, I like to think that I am too reasonable to storm out of a wedding for such a relatively minor offense. Since I haven't posted much, I understand why my comment was taken more literally than intended. I merely meant that it is something I could see a person doing, despite already being there, dressed, and hungry I've seen far worse antics. OP initially made it sound like there was no going back on her plan, so I was trying to explain the range of reaction she might face not noticing/caring to caring way too much. Happy to see OP is able to change plans.

J&K10910

Got it, thanks for the clarification!