Reception seating: culture clash

JoanE2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-seating-culture-clash?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4be1429a-04ef-40f4-8986-ed0924c3f6b3Post:88d5f2d7-592e-4c74-8d72-06fd33ee7a22">Re: Reception seating: culture clash</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh God, everyone. It's not about me not liking them or wanting to take their money but not eat with them - <strong>I had this romantic idea of dinner together</strong> in what will be a chaotic, exciting day with little time alone. MOH has no significant other and FI isn't choosing a BM. No go.
Posted by cpblanco[/QUOTE]

Unless you plan on having dinner alone in an entirely seperate room, don't plan on it being romantic. 

I don't understand what the big deal is.....just have you, your FI and both sets of parents at a table.  Save your romantic dinner for the next night or on your honeymoon.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-seating-culture-clash?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4be1429a-04ef-40f4-8986-ed0924c3f6b3Post:88d5f2d7-592e-4c74-8d72-06fd33ee7a22">Re: Reception seating: culture clash</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh God, everyone. It's not about me not liking them or wanting to take their money but not eat with them - I had this romantic idea of dinner together in what will be a chaotic, exciting day with little time alone. MOH has no significant other and FI isn't choosing a BM. No go.
Posted by cpblanco[/QUOTE]

<div>You really need to change your expectations.  They only people who have a nice romantic meal on their wedding day are people who elope.  Just the 2 of them.  Period.   One you you start inviting other people it's not longer a romantic meal.</div><div>
</div><div>I thought that was common sense, no?  I mean, DH and I go out to dinner alone might be romantic.  When we go with another couple, it's not.    In a room full of people we know, I can't see how in the world it could ever become a 'romantic meal'.</div><div>
</div><div>Your romantic meals will come after you wedding.  On your honeymoon, your first night back home, etc.  </div>

NeedFavors

I think what has not been brought up here is that you think you are the only one "giving in". Have you considered what your in-laws have dealt with, that they aren't even making a fuss about? Many of the traditions that you mention you are having in your wedding are American and they are expensive. Wedding favors, bridal shower, BM, Bridesmaids (several), even an elaborate engagement ring and engagement party are American traditions, not European. Your ILs have gone along with this, and probably helped pay for most of it. Now they want to fulfill their dream of sitting at the head table to eat food they paid for in front of all of their friends. Before you play the victim, consider the other side's story as well.