No gifts money only

NadzB

I need your help with the gift situation.

I will be getting married in my country caribbean island but then moving with my fiance to the UK therefore gifts of any kind are not practical since the distance is 9 hours away by plane. I am therefore requesting that any gift be of monetary value only.

How do I word this?

First let me say that it is really not practical to ship housewares and other stuff from my country to UK. I would rather not have any gift at all because the costs of shipping would out weigh the benefits of having the gifts to begin with. So am thinking if a person was going to spend 20 on a gift put that if they were going to spend 200 then put that.

I know that my family and friends would not be offended by my asking this of them but I just want to make sure that I word it politely

I just need your help with how  I word it on the invitations without being rude , thanks ladies

KellyBrian2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-gifts-money-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4db68242-79a9-4ac9-b49d-f895686a7d5cPost:dff3b6a2-575b-4f27-baf9-0ad05f6acb8f">No gifts money only</a>:
[QUOTE]I need your help with the gift situation. I will be getting married in my country caribbean island but then moving with my fiance to the UK therefore gifts of any kind are not practical since the distance is 9 hours away by plane. <strong>I am therefore requesting that any gift be of monetary value only. How do I word this?</strong> First let me say that it is really not practical to ship housewares and other stuff from my country to UK. I wold rather not have any gift at all because the costs of shipping woulkd out weigh the benefits of having the gifts to begin with. So am thinking if a person was going to spend 20 on a gift put that if they were going to spend 200 then put that. <strong>I just need your help with how  I word it on the invitations without being rude or offensive,</strong> thanks ladies
Posted by NadzB[/QUOTE]

You don't. You never put ANYTHING about gifts on invitations, as gifts are never to be required or expected.

Simply do not register. When people ask where you are registered, you may say something along the lines of, "Oh, we decided not to register and we're just trying to save up money for the big move."

If anyone chooses to give you a physical gift, you graciously accept it and write a TY note accordingly.

lyndausvi

I lived in a small Caribbean island and got married in the states.   With the exception of a few small gifts, we mostly got cash.   We didn't have to say anything, our guests were smart enough to figure out that shipping stuff across the ocean was not practical.

I would just spread it via word of mouth.  Tell the big-mouths of the family (you know who they are, we all have them).  The word will get out.

NadzB

Ok thanks for your answers. I really appreciate it. 

My family and friends will give something so  gifts are inevitable since everyone coming is very close to me. I really dont want anyone to waste their money because if I get any physical gifts then I will not keep them but just sell or give away. I just cant ship them out.

Where I am from 99% of the people will give gifts or money at weddings. No on e hardly ever turns up and does not give anything its just not how it is done

NOLAbridealmost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-gifts-money-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4db68242-79a9-4ac9-b49d-f895686a7d5cPost:95ecd2b5-42a5-4014-bbba-d69b3d788a2b">Re: No gifts money only</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok thanks for your answers. I really appreciate it.  My family and friends will give something so  gifts are inevitable since everyone coming is very close to me. I really dont want anyone to waste their money because if I get any physical gifts then I will not keep them but just sell or give away. I just cant ship them out. Where I am from 99% of the people will give gifts or money at weddings. No on e hardly ever turns up and does not give anything its just not how it is done
Posted by NadzB[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Just don't register.  People are smart enough to get the hint and give cash instead.   Please don't put anything about gifts (cash gifts or physical gifts) on the invitation because there' no way to do that without being rude.  Even saying "No gifts, please" is rude because it implies that you thought guests were supposed to get you a gift in the first place.

</div>

NadzB

Oh I definitely do not want showers or intend to have any gift giving events its just not practical and my friends are already aware that I will be relocating so even if we do have a party then there will be no gifts of any soft included even money we will just spend that time bonding as friends and having a great time

NadzB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-gifts-money-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4db68242-79a9-4ac9-b49d-f895686a7d5cPost:6ddffee7-5c8e-43c8-8694-038abff68355">Re: No gifts money only</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No gifts money only : Just don't register.  People are smart enough to get the hint and give cash instead.   Please don't put anything about gifts (cash gifts or physical gifts) on the invitation because there' no way to do that without being rude.  Even saying "No gifts, please" is rude because it implies that you thought guests were supposed to get you a gift in the first place.
Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>
</div><div>never thought of it like that , thanks very much for the heads up 

</div>

Laurmi

Just don't register. People should be able to figure it out. Good luck with the wedding and the move!!! 

Cheers!

Laura 

NadzB

Thank you Laura, best wishes to you too 

Avion22

Spread the word that you are moving to the UK.  People will undestand, and shop accordingly.

FWIW, I live in the UK, and housewares here are CRAZY expensive (almost twice as expensive as in the States), so if there's stuff you need, then I recommend maybe registering for a few times and shipping it to yourself. It'll still be less expensive than buying new stuff when you get here.  Obviously don't register for anything electrical, but consider sheets/towels if you need them, stuff like that.  Also, it costs just as much to move with NEW towels as it does to move with your OLD towels, so you can do a 1 for 1 replacement on items you want to upgrade, and it still won't cost you any more when you move.  Then you can sell or donate your old stuff.

NadzB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-gifts-money-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4db68242-79a9-4ac9-b49d-f895686a7d5cPost:b9e4622c-7932-4bac-ac2a-8449e0209706">Re: No gifts money only</a>:
[QUOTE]Spread the word that you are moving to the UK.  People will undestand, and shop accordingly. FWIW, I live in the UK, and housewares here are CRAZY expensive (almost twice as expensive as in the States), so if there's stuff you need, then I recommend maybe registering for a few times and shipping it to yourself. It'll still be less expensive than buying new stuff when you get here.  Obviously don't register for anything electrical, but consider sheets/towels if you need them, stuff like that.  Also, it costs just as much to move with NEW towels as it does to move with your OLD towels, so you can do a 1 for 1 replacement on items you want to upgrade, and it still won't cost you any more when you move.  Then you can sell or donate your old stuff.
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

<div>I am from Barabdos and trust me as expensive as things are in the UK , people here will not give towels as a gift even if i put it on the regisrty it will be left in the store. The things here are way more  expensive and to ship them will cost about 200 pounds . i just prefer not to get anything at </div>

Avion22

I have a hard time believing that it will cost 200 pounds to ship towels from the Barbados to the UK.  Last year I shipped all of our Christmas gifts to my family and his family in various locations in the US -- we're talking lots of big boxes of stuff and toys.  All together it didn't top 100 GPB in shipping costs -- probably closer to 60 GBP.  I get that mail FROM the Barbados might be a little more expensive, but I doubt it will cost over 3 times as much for something that weighs about a tenth of what I sent.  

And like I said, if you need to replace your old towels, then it will cost just as much to move your old ones as any new ones.    If you don't need new towels, then obviously it's a moot point.  

Still, you can't come out and ask people for money.  Most of them will realize that it's the most practical gift anyway.   

NadzB

I said people do not give such things as towels for wedding presents so even if it was on teh registry that it would probably not get chosen. And how many towels can we possibly  need and would you even need to put those in a barrel or cant you just add things like towels to your luggage anyway. Even my mom and dad here saying that you wouldnt put towels on a registry list.

I would have to choose only towels or something like that also you pay by barrel and the last barrel i did cost me about 135 and that was 2 years ago but I can see what you mean about getting certain gifts here that might save us certain costs , it makes sense 

Avion22

Oh okay, I didn't understand that towels aren't a common wedding gift in Barbados. They're quite common in the US, and I figured it would be the same there. I don't understand what you mean by "per barrel." I just meant put stuff in a regular cardboard box and send it via mail/post. I's not the cheapest way to ship things internationally, but for a small quantity of lightweight items it could make sense.

NadzB

thats true and even if i dont get those things as gifts i will be taking your advice into consideration to purchase some and ship them over, it seems like a smart thing to do

Knottie_22388626

We are in our 50's and we have everything we can possibly need so I thought it would be more practical if family and friends give their gifts in money, not in kind. That way, we can put the money aside for our savings. How do you say it to them? I dont want to end up having 5 toasters, 4 fruit juicers, etc. I think it will wasteful to have them and they get stuck in the basement, or we give them away anyway. Not practical at all.