Wedding Etiquette Forum

Pushy Relatives....

Hello - I hope someone can help me with this situation.  I am getting married in the fall and I still live in my family's home.  With us, lives my Aunt.  Her son, his girlfriend and daughter live in FL and I am not very close with any of them.  I have not sent out invitations yet, but he and his family have already invited themselves to the wedding.  And they have gone as far as telling my Aunt to have the guest room ready for them so they can stay over, at my family's house, before the wedding.  The house isn't very big.  And on the day of, I will have my mother, my 4 bridesmaids, the photographer, the videographer and the hair and make up team there getting us ready.  I feel like there will be too much going on the night before and the day of to have to stop what we are doing and tend to out of town guests.  Not to mention that they will also need to share the bathroom - with 6 women!  I tried to talk to my mother about this and I asked her to talk to her sister to tell her son to stay at a hotel at least for the night before, but my mother doesn't even want to touch on the subject with her sister as to not create ill-feelings.  I don't want to cause tension between family members, but I also don't feel like we should be imposed upon either.  Getting ready somewhere other than my family home isn't an option for me as I want to leave my family home in my gown and go to the church to get married.  Any advice?
Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Pushy Relatives....

  • well, if it is your moher's home and she doesnt want to broach the subject of them going somewhere else, then You may have to suck it up. I do hate the fact  that they invited themselves though. Were you going to invite them anyway??
  • I agree with PP.  It's your mom's house.  You can't tell him he's not welcome.   Mom needs to step up for you.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • If you're so concerned about that many people in the house, can't you & your bms go somewhere else to get ready?
  • I would honestly just ask your mom if she really thinks having 6 women get ready for a wedding with one bathroom will work.  I mean, there's not really anything you can do if she won't talk with your aunt about it, but I'm the kind of person that would bring it up like that. 

    As for your cousins, if you weren't planning on inviting them, then don't.  Then they won't be there anyways.  I don't know what the consiquinces would be family-wise for not inviting them, but that's something you'll have to work out.
    image

    Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength, and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend. - Andrew Futral

  • Just get a hotel room for yourself.  That way, you will have your own bathroom and your own space.  You can have your bridesmaids get ready there with you if you want to.  I understand what you are saying about not wanting to have a house full of people the night before your wedding, but if your mom's house, so if she wants to have the guests there, that's her call.

    My fiance wanted to have all of his groomsmen stay at our house the night before the wedding, but I knew I would not want to play hostess to a bunch of guys or share the bathroom with them.  Also, I don't want to be cleaning up after a bunch of people on my wedding night, you know?  My parents have a cabin in the woods and I asked them if they would let him stay there with his groomsmen.  Problem solved.

    If that would not have worked, I absolutely would have gotten my own hotel room.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-relatives?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4e0bf4eb-11db-40b2-94af-3b7efafaac7fPost:790465f0-36b2-40d1-9cbb-bed5f58faf46">Pushy Relatives....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hello - I hope someone can help me with this situation.  I am getting married in the fall and I still live in my family's home.  With us, lives my Aunt.  Her son, his girlfriend and daughter live in FL and I am not very close with any of them.  I have not sent out invitations yet,<strong> but he and his family have already invited themselves to the wedding.</strong>  And they have gone as far as telling my Aunt to have the guest room ready for them so they can stay over, at my family's house, before the wedding.  The house isn't very big.  And on the day of, I will have my mother, my 4 bridesmaids, the photographer, the videographer and the hair and make up team there getting us ready.  I feel like there will be too much going on the night before and the day of to have to stop what we are doing and tend to out of town guests.  Not to mention that they will also need to share the bathroom - with 6 women!  I tried to talk to my mother about this and I asked her to talk to her sister to tell her son to stay at a hotel at least for the night before, but my mother doesn't even want to touch on the subject with her sister as to not create ill-feelings.  I don't want to cause tension between family members, but I also don't feel like we should be imposed upon either.  Getting ready somewhere other than my family home isn't an option for me as I want to leave my family home in my gown and go to the church to get married.  Any advice?
    Posted by jenvalverde0580[/QUOTE]

    Does this mean you weren't planning to invite them?
  • Like others said, it's your mom's house.  I wouldn't want to get ready for my wedding in a cramped house full of guests.  Book the hotel room
  • If you weren't planning on inviting them, say so. Don't let people bully you into inviting them.

    But if it's your Mom's house, and she isn't going to say anything, I vote with everyone else on getting a room. 
  • I would tell your mom, fine they can stay here. If that is so important to you i will stay elsewhere, get ready elsewhere & you can entertain your oot guests & get ready without me, there is no way i can get ready with that many people here so make your choice. 

    Yes it sounds b*tchy, it is meant too. It is her house yes but if she wants you there (in your home too i imagine until your married) then she has to understand you guys can't accomodate everyone & that weddings are stressful & busy times beforehand. 
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Dream Honeymoon/Actual Honeymoon Disneyworld Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards