Not inviting the MOther of the Groom

funnygirl2no

How do yu politely NOT invite the MOTHER of the Groom.  How do you go about sending invites and save the dates and insure the Mother does not find out about the wedding.?   IF some of the guests do not get along with the Mother...is it right to Not invite her and replace her with the father's new girlfriend ? 
THis scenario happened this past weekend.  I am the MOTHER who found out about the wedding on the KNOT !.   What would have been the proper ettiquette in handling this very hurtful situation ?  I did show to the wedding and was recieved with  DIrty Looks , this may not be proper etiquette but leaving the MOM out was in Poor taste...after all ..there would be NO wedding without The MOM !

funnygirl2no

It was the Meghan Lewis / Brandon Yolles Wedding in San Diego 4/2/2011
How was the Proper way to handle this ? Can anyone help me deal with this insult and pain , please ?

mixtapehearts

Why the full names?? There's no point for those. I'd really say you should delete those.

aleighk1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-inviting-mother-of-groom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f8aa5e3-2f3c-41c6-8816-a369301665bfPost:7ff32f04-f101-435c-80ff-c57d6f51db3e">Re: Not inviting the MOther of the Groom</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not inviting the MOther of the Groom : You really should delete their full names.  Nobody knows who they are, so that info is of no help to us. 
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

<div>Yep. Because I definitely just googled their names and found their registry and wedding website.</div>

kcscejal

If my mom was willing to bitch about me and give out my full name and wedding date and place to a board full of strangers I wouldn't invite her to my wedding either.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-inviting-mother-of-groom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f8aa5e3-2f3c-41c6-8816-a369301665bfPost:2bf8f418-acca-4b28-b3ff-094ec6da4056">Re: Not inviting the MOther of the Groom</a>:
[QUOTE]If my mom was willing to bitch about me and give out my full name and wedding date and place to a board full of strangers I wouldn't invite her to my wedding either.
Posted by kcscejal[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Ditto.  On the off chance this isn't MUD, I'm definitely understanding your son and DIL's thinking.</div>

Ghoti

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-inviting-mother-of-groom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f8aa5e3-2f3c-41c6-8816-a369301665bfPost:455c8e2e-2ffd-4937-9ed9-9f09f0cbba17">Not inviting the MOther of the Groom</a>:
[QUOTE]How do yu politely NOT invite the MOTHER of the Groom.  How do you go about sending invites and save the dates and insure the Mother does not find out about the wedding.?   IF some of the guests do not get along with the Mother...is it right to Not invite her and replace her with the father's new girlfriend ?  THis scenario happened this past weekend.  I am the MOTHER who found out about the wedding on the KNOT !.   What would have been the proper ettiquette in handling this very hurtful situation ?  I did show to the wedding and was recieved with  DIrty Looks , this may not be proper etiquette but leaving the MOM out was in Poor taste...after all ..there would be NO wedding without The MOM !
Posted by funnygirl2no[/QUOTE]
Seems like you need to reevaluate yourself and your relationship with your family if they felt the need to keep you out of it.<div>And the wedding would've still gone on whether you crashed it or not.</div>

RebeccaB88

The way you're acting right now, it makes perfect sense to me that you wouldn't be invited. 

Bethanne1202

I am going to say that if you are willing to put your kid out all over the internet like that, there was probably a good reason you werent invited.  Good job Mom!

Ghoti

You're not the alcoholic who can't even be around a unity candle, by chance?

hlq2011

Your behavior right now suggests to me that there are probably reasons wedding guests don't get along with you - and that, perhaps, your son is one of those people.

Crashing a wedding you weren't invited to was wrong, whether or not they were wrong to not invite you.
Giving out their names and wedding location on an international message board is wrong too.

Even if they were wrong, and I'm not convinced they were, you're not handling it appropriately at all.

HandBanana

You can point your finger at someong but remember, there are always there fingers pointing back at you.

pantherRN

Uhhhh....hmmmm....

Yeah, what everyone else said.

KentuckyKate

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-inviting-mother-of-groom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f8aa5e3-2f3c-41c6-8816-a369301665bfPost:21050762-3f74-45fd-8bdc-eece4516c50d">Re: Not inviting the MOther of the Groom</a>:
[QUOTE]You're not the alcoholic who can't even be around a unity candle, by chance?
Posted by Ghoti[/QUOTE]
lolz.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-inviting-mother-of-groom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f8aa5e3-2f3c-41c6-8816-a369301665bfPost:455c8e2e-2ffd-4937-9ed9-9f09f0cbba17">Not inviting the MOther of the Groom</a>:
[QUOTE]How do yu politely NOT invite the MOTHER of the Groom.  How do you go about sending invites and save the dates and insure the Mother does not find out about the wedding.?   IF some of the guests do not get along with the Mother...is it right to Not invite her and replace her with the father's new girlfriend ?  THis scenario happened this past weekend.  I am the MOTHER who found out about the wedding on the KNOT !.   What would have been the proper ettiquette in handling this very hurtful situation ?  I did show to the wedding and was recieved with  DIrty Looks , this may not be proper etiquette but leaving the MOM out was in Poor taste...after all ..there would be NO wedding without The MOM !
Posted by funnygirl2no[/QUOTE]


Good lord!

Ladies, please edit your replies so as not to identify the B&G.  tia

KentuckyKate

OP, according to your DS/DIL's wedding webpage, your other two sons were GM in the wedding.  If EVERYONE went through such extremes to keep you in the dark about your son's wedding, I'd say you probably mucked up that whole parenting thing somehow.

RamonaFlowers

If a groom chooses not to tell his mother about the wedding, I could chalk it up to the groom being immature. If a few members of the family don't tell the MOG about the wedding, looks a little suspicious, but hey, maybe there's a few jerks in the family.

However, if every single member of the groom's family keeps the MOG in the dark, the smart money's on the problem lying within the MOG.

KentuckyKate

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-inviting-mother-of-groom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f8aa5e3-2f3c-41c6-8816-a369301665bfPost:2cc3bf1b-5378-46eb-9b8d-2319f83bce40">Re: Not inviting the MOther of the Groom</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not inviting the MOther of the Groom : Yep. Because I definitely just googled their names and found their registry and wedding website.
Posted by aleighk1[/QUOTE]
Not to mention their address and the exact price they paid for their house.  I sent the groom a FB message.

mynameskatie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-inviting-mother-of-groom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f8aa5e3-2f3c-41c6-8816-a369301665bfPost:455c8e2e-2ffd-4937-9ed9-9f09f0cbba17">Not inviting the MOther of the Groom</a>:
[QUOTE].after all ..there would be NO wedding without The MOM !
Posted by funnygirl2no[/QUOTE]

<div>Pretty sure there could have been. I'm guessing they'd still be married even if you hadn't made it awkward by showing up.</div>

badkittyct

You sound like a reach peach, I wonder why you weren't invited?


Ha!

You are R.U.D.E.

LDYGTR13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-inviting-mother-of-groom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f8aa5e3-2f3c-41c6-8816-a369301665bfPost:9a5505fd-c9f9-4ea5-a89c-f0efbbeffe10">Re: Not inviting the MOther of the Groom</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Not inviting the MOther of the Groom : Pretty sure there could have been. I'm guessing they'd still be married even if you hadn't made it awkward by showing up.
Posted by mynameskatie[/QUOTE]

I think she meant he wouldn't be there. Like wouldn't be alive. She's still crazy pants though

ootmother2

IMO, more BSC than rude

KentuckyKate

holy shiiiiiit. 

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_grooms-mother-replaced-xs-girlfriend_.1

At the bottom.

mynameskatie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-inviting-mother-of-groom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f8aa5e3-2f3c-41c6-8816-a369301665bfPost:09f1e05f-1fbe-4520-947c-ab6b0de0b747">Re: Not inviting the MOther of the Groom</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not inviting the MOther of the Groom : I think she meant he wouldn't be there. Like wouldn't be alive. She's still crazy pants though
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I took it more like "There won't be any wedding without me b*tches"...but you're probably right. I got confused by all the random capitalization. </div>

KentuckyKate

Yeah, I took it as more of "there wouldn't be a wedding without my almighty vagina, therefore I deserve an invitation, although I undoubtedly ruined your childhood with emotional abuse at the very least."

courtney1188

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-inviting-mother-of-groom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f8aa5e3-2f3c-41c6-8816-a369301665bfPost:7ff32f04-f101-435c-80ff-c57d6f51db3e">Re: Not inviting the MOther of the Groom</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not inviting the MOther of the Groom : You really should delete their full names.  Nobody knows who they are, so that info is of no help to us. 
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

We can still see the full names in your post even though OP was deleted, might want to delete the quote!

TaraK22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-inviting-mother-of-groom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f8aa5e3-2f3c-41c6-8816-a369301665bfPost:21050762-3f74-45fd-8bdc-eece4516c50d">Re: Not inviting the MOther of the Groom</a>:
[QUOTE]You're not the alcoholic who can't even be around a unity candle, by chance?
Posted by Ghoti[/QUOTE]

I agree with everyone else, but just had to LOL to this one.

Denise91980

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-inviting-mother-of-groom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f8aa5e3-2f3c-41c6-8816-a369301665bfPost:178717d2-7cda-45f7-b6e9-4fc37d74c076">Re: Not inviting the MOther of the Groom</a>:
[QUOTE]IMO, more BSC than rude
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

<div>YES!</div>

Ghoti

Holy crap she went nuts! Her poor son!

KentuckyKate

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-inviting-mother-of-groom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f8aa5e3-2f3c-41c6-8816-a369301665bfPost:72b12caa-c74b-47e9-8445-9d296088ce60">Re: Not inviting the MOther of the Groom</a>:
[QUOTE]Holy crap she went nuts! Her poor son!
Posted by Ghoti[/QUOTE]
Yep.  On FB he basically said she wasn't invited because she has issues.  Clearly.

mixtapehearts

Good job on letting the son know, Kate That's some good samaritan karma for you!