I think I know the answer but I want to check with the E goddesses

CFM102012

My cousin has a newish BF who will of course be invited. I think (I'm going to ask closer to when invites go out) that the new bf has a couple kids. My cousin also has a son. My cousin's son will be invited but do I need to invite the bf's kids? I'm obviously not having a kids free wedding but ya gotta draw the line somewhere. At this point its kids of family and our RB (our friends' son).  

Also how should I address this invitation?

Miss Jane Doe

Johnny Doe

Mr. James Smith?

mbaete

I don't see any reason why you should feel obligated to invite his kids. However, If he was a long time bf, I would probally extend the invite to them as well.

[Deleted User]

Send it to your cousin addressed to her only or Smith Family

On the inner envelope:
Jane Smith <-- your cousin
Johny Smith <-- her son
John Doe <-- newish BF

MyUserName1

Do they live together?  Is she in these children's lives as a parental figure?  If she's only met the kids a couple of times, I don't think they need to be invited, but if they have started blending the family, I'd invite them.

Simply Fated

By the time your wedding comes along, he won't be very newish and there is a chance each other's kids will be a part of their lives, as though they were their own kids. I'd straight out ask your cousin how she feels about it. I mean, do they live nearby, with their dad, with them? Does she go to their soccer games or maybe she hasn't even spent time with them, yet. These things would factor into the choice, ya know?

aragx6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-think-i-know-the-answer-but-i-want-to-check-with-the-e-goddesses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4fc06fdb-277a-4681-90f0-7ae50261e8a0Post:57908d26-7e0d-4f7c-ab9e-461dcb421746">Re: I think I know the answer but I want to check with the E goddesses</a>:
[QUOTE]By the time your wedding comes along, he won't be very newish and there is a chance each other's kids will be a part of their lives, as though they were their own kids. I'd straight out ask your cousin how she feels about it. I mean, do they live nearby, with their dad, with them? Does she go to their soccer games or maybe she hasn't even spent time with them, yet. These things would factor into the choice, ya know?
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

Agreed. I'd take the couple's seriousness at the time the invitations go out as a guide to whether or not to invite the children. If they're all spending time together as a family I think it would be gracious to invite the BF's kids.

Kate61487

ditto PPs.  A year ago at my wedding I didn't invite my brother's gf's kids b/c they'd just started dating, none of our family had met the kids yet, etc.  If I were getting married tomorrow they'd absoluely be invited because they are now a big part of my brother's life. 

Just ask your cousin before the invitations go out.

CFM102012

I know they don't live together. I did some asking around and BF's kids are teenagers whereas my counsin's son is 4. At this point I'm going to plan on not inviting them (I don't know if they'd want to come anyway) but ask cousin before I address her invitation.  Since my invitation is a seal and send style I don't have the whole Inner and Outer envelope so I'll just put who is invited on the outside. Thanks for your help ladies. Come August I may be asking again how to address the invitation if we end up including his kids.

Habs2Hart

If they are teenagers and he's a BF, I am going to go with no.  I don't think you'll offend anyone doing it that way.  If they get engaged before then, then I may reconsider, but at this point, they are his kids and if he wasn't dating her, he wouldn't be invited, right?  I would leave them off.