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ANON920

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Peledreamsofrain

I think you're driving yourself crazy by overthinking it :P.  That tux is gorgeous, and plenty formal.  There isn't any etiquette violations to worry about unless the venue itself requires 'black tie' attire, in which case you would have to worry about non-black tuxes.

But, from what you are describing, that's not the case.  I think those tuxes will look ah-may- zing next to wine colored formal gowns.  Go for it!

KellyBrian2013

The only thing that I'm not sure about - which is my own personal taste - is the groom in black with the groomsmen in grey. However, if you like it - go for it.

Also, your dress is absolutely GORGEOUS and I think will look stunning next to the wedding party attire you're describing.

DramaGeek

Your dress is gorgeous, and I think gray suits or tuxes would look great with it.  I think if you keep the formality all the same, you're fine.  That tux is not informal, it just may not be as formal looking as a black tux, but I think a dress like this http://www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/6652/?color=amethyst&colorid=1#.UIiqx299Ik0

in the aubergine would look super classy next to the gray.

Kate61487

So the only thing about attire that etiquette dictates is formality; not style and not "matchiness".  I, peronally, don't think color affects formality at all.  Okay, maybe if we were talking about sky blue tuxes...  but a three piece suit or tux is formal; gray or black.

Having the groom not match the groomsmen, eehh... Etiquette-wise it's totally fine, and I don't have a problem with the groom standing out at all, different tie, different vest.   But the below just looks odd to me.

 

but that could be in part because the guy I assume is the groom isn't next to the bride...

PS - I also think that tux + your dress + purple dresses will be gorgeous.  I just would try to convince the FI to go with the grey as well

DramaGeek

Does this work?  If you can see it, it might help you visualize

http://www2.davidsbridal.com/dyw/stage.jsp?li=0

Maybone

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-regarding-attire?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:50cd55e8-73de-48f0-835e-50f5645df7b7Post:896333f7-9e98-40fb-9cb8-2c464596e932">Re: Etiquette regarding attire?</a>:
[QUOTE]Your dress is gorgeous, and I think gray suits or tuxes would look great with it.  I think if you keep the formality all the same, you're fine.  That tux is not informal, it just may not be as formal looking as a black tux, but I think a dress like this  <a href="http://www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/6652/?color=amethyst&colorid=1#.UIiqx299Ik0" rel="nofollow">http://www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/6652/?color=amethyst&colorid=1#.UIiqx299Ik0</a> in the aubergine would look super classy next to the gray.
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

it's probably just me, but it looks like that dress is on backwards. It's just not my style.

OP, I think gray tuxes would be just fine. With the way your dress looks, I think I'd pick tuxes over suits. I also think the groom and GM should all be the same color. Your FH can wear a different vest or tie or bout. Everyone will know who the groom is. But, if he feels more comfortable in black, I'd be ok with that too.

FWIW, my FH and GM will be wearing gray suits. I LOVE the look of gray and it makes my Orange color pop. It pairs well with many colors, including wine. And they look amazing in photos.  I think your wedding party will look fantastic.

[Deleted User]

I agree w/pp, it's going to be beautiful & I personally think the light gray will be great for a summer wedding.

OliveOilsMom

I think that whatever color tux your FI wants to wear should be the color that the GM wear too.  As shown in Kate's pic above, a different color suit stands out, but not necessarily in a good way.  I think if you stuck with the grey tuxs, the wine colored BM dresses will look great.

If the groom wants to stand out some, he should have a different colored vest, tie, and bout.

peekaboo2011

If you want to go grey, but he's worried about it being too light, what about a charcoal?  Still grey, still dark, would still look amazing with aubergine.

maggieandrey

I think for the first time ever, I'm going to disagree with CMGr, who is my usually my etiquette hero. Traditionally, gray tuxes are appropriate for daytime, like before 6pm and black for evening. But, etiquette / fashion policing aside, it's your wedding, so go with whatever you prefer. The colors work together, which to me is what people will notice more than what time of day it is versus are you wearing the right formal wear.

Also I agree with PP's - keep all the guys in the same tux. change up their vest/tie/bout to personalize.

[Deleted User]

I'd go with what you want. It may be more traditional to have black tuxes but I don't think people will be offended by you having your guys in grey tuxes. I agree with PPs though that having all the men in the same color might be good to do...

We're doing a Sunday evening wedding, and the guys are going to be in navy suits. We wanted a little more casual and our colors are light blue and navy. I don't think it's going to be an issue.

B2Z728

I'm not sure of the etiquette regarding this so I'll just address the attire question.  

When I got married this summer my then FI wanted to choose his own attire, along with the groomsmen and let that be a surprise for me (since I was surprising him with my dress). I was okay with it, knowing that he has good taste and would choose something nice, and not a blue tux. He ended up choosing basically the same grey tux that you like. He wore the same tux as the groomsmen but paired it with a grey vest and tie to stand out. The groomsmen wore no vest and black tie. I thought it looked nice together and plenty formal for our country club setting. 

I'm pretty sure that there is a darker grey version of that tux, in more of a charcoal, that he could wear and then groomsmen could still wear the lighter grey. I haven't seen it in person so I'm not 100% sure how the two greys would look together, but it could be a possibility and then there would be less contrast between the grey tuxes and his black tux. He could also wear the black tux and the groomsmen wear grey tuxes, with either a black tie and/or a black vest? I'm sure there's a combination you two could work out that would make you both happy. 

My husband said it helped him tremendously to be able to see everything in person at the tuxedo rental store rather than picking from a catalogue like many other stores make you do. Either way, I think the dresses you described would look great with grey or black tuxes. Good luck! 

mcda04

I think you’re overthinking this. There is nothing wrong with groomsmen wearing gray tuxedos. They don’t have to match the groom so your FI can wear black if he wants. My H wore a grey suit and the groomsmen wore black suits. I was afraid that the white shirt H wore would contrast with my ivory gown and honestly, you can’t even notice. An ivory dress looks white in pictures. Or at least mine did.

Btw, nice color selection. J I had royal purple (DB Regency) and gray.

 

mcda04

Mine was way more informal but here's a picture of H with his brothers. His suit was more charcoal than grey. only two of them were groomsmen. (the ones in the grey shirts)

Tami87

My husband picked the attire for the guys and he really wanted grey. Orginally I wanted black but I think it turned out great. We also had a Catholic church wedding and fairly formal reception. I agree that you are overthinking this. There are pictures below in my bio link..

mcda04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_etiquette-regarding-attire?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:50cd55e8-73de-48f0-835e-50f5645df7b7Post:76a29e40-3536-4526-955a-2a94dcbdde79">Re: Etiquette regarding attire?</a>:
[QUOTE]I appreciate all the input - still undecided though! Now my fiance is saying he would like to have a custom SUIT made for the day in charcoal grey, 3-piece with matching vest (he would really like an excuse to purchase a custom suit for an obscene price, lol), so we may have to have the groomsmen in grey suits as opposed to tuxes. I'm assuming this would be appropriate as well, but I loved the CK tuxes, although I can understand why my fiance is not too keen on the idea of buying a tux (he is not a standard size so renting would be out of the question, and so he would have to buy a tux and have it tailored - he also has quite expensive taste, so if he were going to buy a tux vs. a suit, I can see him wanting to ge his money's worth, as he will never wear a tux again). I'm no etiquette expert, but I'm assuming the grey tuxes would be out if the groom is in a suit (even though my fiance argues it would be a really, really, nice suit)! So I'm hoping that light or charcoal grey suits would work too, though have no idea how difficult it might be to find a rental for a 3-piece suit (ultimately we want everyone at least in vests whether they wear a suit or a tux, and would like the vests to match the material and color of the jacket).
Posted by ANON920[/QUOTE]
My Husband also has expensive taste, his suit was worth more than my dress. lol. He bought it at Hugo Boss, they took his measurements and it was tailored accordingly. i wouldn't have it any other way. I mean it would've looked a lot better but he decided to lose 12 Lbs two weeks before the wedding.

reisnersr

I have a similiar dilemna to you. This may not work for you, but I can tell you my solution. The grey suit he picked out was way more expensive and I wasn't crazy about asking 6 groomsmen to pay that amount. So we searched for something that fit his style (grey) but allowed his groomsmen to get the typcial black tux rental at a cheap price. I figure if I don't match my girls then he doesn't have to match his guys.

Instead he is wearing this suit

http://tuxedo.menswearhouse.com/preStyledLookDetail.do?style=all&id=52&order=7&occasion=wedding

Which is grey with black details and the guys will be wearning the traditional black tux to offset but match.


Good luck, but either way- you will look great, he will look great, and no one will care about anything else.