My future sister in law has been living with us the last year while going to college. Her parents have been helping supply rent but things have been getting rocky. She has basically lost it and at twenty years old ran away from home and won't tell us where she is. She didn't quit her job, even though she works at the same place i do in a different dept and used my name as a reference. She didn't drop out of school or anything. Just up and left one day and hasn't come back. I'm of course hurt and upset by this, not to mention thoroghly ticked because my fiance and i bought her bridesmaid dress the weekend before she took off. I am all for pulling her out of the wedding since she has stated she doesnt intend to come back for anything other then the actual event. But my fiance's Mother is so shaken and upset that she is begging me not to do it. My dream of a small intimate wedding has already gone down the drain because his family threw a fit when we started talking about a destination wedding and then just a home reception and now we are having a 200 person ceremony 300 person reception. I feel like i need to be sensitive to the situation at hand but am so irratitated by the fact i can't call my own shots when my parents are the ones paying! What do you guys think? That i should let her be in the wedding despite the fact she wont be here to be fitted or involved in any of the other wedding activities we have planned out. I was even willing to just have her be an usher but her parents feel like i'm just over reacting.
I need other opinions
-i forgot to mention she left us about 6 months ago. So this isn't my first reaction, only now since our wedding things are coming into play and we are getting started on other things that would involve her.