Hi , I'm hoping you can give me some insight on how to handle the following situation.
We are keeping our wedding fairly small-ish- 100 people. My family is paying for 2/3s, FI and I are paying for the rest. His family offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner, which we absolutly appreciate.
FI and I have a fairly large social circle, including our best highschool and college friends. Our 'friend' portion of the guest list is over 50% and we see the local friends weekly, if not mulitple times per week. My family has given us full reign of the guest list and all other decisions.
I am very close with 3 of my cousins, with whom we visit mulitiple times a year and i remain in constant contact. FI doesn't speak with ANY of his cousins, not even through FB. He didn't even know some of their last names...
FI and I sat down with his family and explained the guest list and that we could only afford the 100 people. With that being said, we were going to invite my 3 close cousins and their spouses. We were not going to include my distant first cousins (7 others, and my family gave us the ok to do this, even though it is not typical). To keep it fair FI and I decided to invite 3 of his cousins that live within driving distance. (These are the only cousins I have met, the rest are thousands of miles away) His parents have 7 brothers and sisters, and there are 14 other cousins. (All aunts and uncles are invited on both sides). His parents seemed disapointed when we let them know our situation and said that they were hoping this would be a "family reunion" I'm sorry... this our wedding, not a family reunion.
They said they would really like all the cousins to be invited and they would check with the Aunts & Uncles to see if everyone would be willing to "chip in" to cover the plates of the cousins, that way they could have their "family reunion".
I'm not quite sure how to handle this... I don't want them to do that at all. How would this make FI and I look?! Not even to mention, sure, covering their plates- we would still have other expenses- table settings, favors, etc.
This was NOT part of our plan and FI is feeling guilty... I don't want to put him in a bad position but we had made an agreement. So if his family 'pays' for his cousins, would I then be required to invite all of mine?
His mother called tonight and said that this may work and his distant cousins are excited and want to bring their kids! We specifically told her no kids... I"m not sure what to do... Am I completely out of line... am I a bridezilla?!? Any help is appreciated... Even if its not what I want to hear.