I want to...

kikibaby

Adopt a Haitian orphan.  I'm pretty sure FI would not be thrilled with that idea at this point in our lives, though.  My heart breaks thinking of these poor little kids who don't even understand what's happening, and now have no family to help them

Would you ever consider adoption?  I'm strongly considering it, although I'd love to have a baby of my own.  There are just so many children who need a family.

JessAndTrav

I keep thinking the same thing, though currently, DH and I are in no place financially to bring someone into our home.

But if we were, you'd have to fight me from going down there and just taking kids back with me.

pandasquishy

We're not going to TTC for a few years at least, but when the time comes we have some ovary issues to overcome.  I would be open to adopting if having a baby of our own doesn't work out.  DH, however, can't look that far ahead, so we'll see when the time comes.

mwhitson14

I would choose adoption over IVF any day. And it wouldn't be from other countries, it would be from our country, from the 123,000 kids in foster care right now.

Not that there's anything wrong with overseas adoption, I just think that U.S. adoption is very important too.

laurenclaire1386

I really like the idea of adopting and so does FI.  Whenever we talk about kids and stuff, invariably the conversation turns to how terrified I am of pregnancy. FI suggested to me that we don't ever have to try to get pregnant, that we can adopt. I'm really considering it.

FutureMrsTR

It's a shame that it takes a tragedy in Haiti to make people want to adopt.  There are so many kids right here in the US that need loving homes, it's sad.

I would definitely consider adopting a child, but I do want one of my own as well.

danieliza1127

Honestly, I just don't love kids enough to adopt one I don't think.  I would love to have one of our own, but I don't think I would want to raise some else's.  I'm not that crazy about kids in general unless I'm really close to them.  So, I suck but no I wouldn't adopt one of the kids from Haiti. 

Also, just to play devil's advocate I guess, but you know they were orphans before the earthquake happened and no one cared then.  You wouldn't have though of running down there and rescuing them then.  Just like there was desperate poverty and no water and horrible conditions before the earthquake.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Yes. Like Whit, I would adopt before doing IVF. Domestic or foreign, doesn't matter. I might also like to become a foster parent someday.

danieliza1127

And ditto the others, if I ever were in a situation to adopt, I would adopt a child from the U.S.   There are so many in our own country living in horrible conditions, we don't need to look to other countries for children to save.

betrothed123

H and I have discussed it.  Right now we don't want children at all, but if we were to ever change our minds we'd rather adopt than have our own, for a multitude of reasons.

JessAndTrav

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_want-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:51351949-3e46-4724-b097-0ac1d6341095Post:40e5dc8a-d6fd-4418-a9cd-326c5b9a342a">Re: I want to...</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes. Like Whit, I would adopt before doing IVF. Domestic or foreign, doesn't matter.<strong> I might also like to become a foster parent someday</strong>.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

I think about that on a regular basis.

ac_in_dc

I'd definitely consider adoption. Although I'd want to go in to it with my eyes open. So many kids have special needs; one of my aunts is still trying to care for her 35 year old son who is struggling with a substance abuse problem (he had problems with withdrawal for the first 6 months of his life since his birth mom was an addict).

DH was adopted and it's so sweet to see how much his parents love and appreciate him. That being said, since he was adopted, it's also really nice to be having a baby with him--this is the first person in his life that he'll ever know who he's genetically related to.

kikibaby

I had considered adoption long before the earthquake, it just struck a note in me seeing how many children they think are going to be orphaned now.

It seems like a lot of people end up doing overseas adoptions because there are so many legal hoops to jump through in the US, plus the expenses.  Also, it's very difficult to adopt an infant, if that's what you want.

lyndausvi

I do not like kids enough to adopt (unless it was from a sibling or friend or something).  If I have one of my own, great.  but I'm okay with never having a child.

I'm not sure how feel about all these orphans living Haiti.  Those that were in system i do not have a problem with.  But I hope they are careful about those who might have been orphaned because of last week.  I hope they make sure they (1) are really orphaned and (2) that there is no other family member (even outside of Haiti) that would want to take them.  I would hate for a child to be deemed 'orphaned' when they really are not.

ggmae

I'd want a biological child of my own first and foremost, but I'd consider adoption depending on the circumstances.

georgia_bride09

Pretty much what Whit said. If we can't conceive, we'll adopt. My H has an adopted brother; his parents got pregnant with him RIGHT after they finalized the adoption of his brother after trying to conceive for ten years. If we were to adopt, it would be from within the U.S.; like Whit said, there's plenty of kids here that need homes too.

cmhershey

If I can't conceive then yes we plan on adopting.  I'd rather adopt a child from the U.S than another county.  There's so many children without a stable home here.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_want-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51351949-3e46-4724-b097-0ac1d6341095Post:fcb946b1-8944-4164-87a2-480dfec06663">Re: I want to...</a>:
[QUOTE] I would hate for a child to be deemed 'orphaned' when they really are not.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

That's a major problem they have with foreign adoptions (think Madonna and Malawi). Many countries will confiscate kids and basically "sell" them to westerners. So there's a lot of sketchiness in many of the "hot" countries to adopt from. Except China. That's been pretty stable for decades.

lyndausvi

My take on US adoptions.

 I do not know the stats, but I would imagine there is a low amount of truly orphaned childern in this country. Not saying that kids are not orphaned, but other countries have higher rates due to medical problems, poverty, wars, etc.  In our country I imagin a lot of orphaned kids are taken care of by family members.    

Those who are left to adopt are products of unwed mothers wanting to give up their child and/or unfit parents.  There are so many laws to protect the Bio-parent (not necessarly a bad thing), that many adpotive parents fear that the kid will be taken away from them in the future.

Older kids come with challenges because there could be emotional problems to work through.

So not only might you have to deal with a high needs child... There is always a possibilty the bio-parent can reappear.

There are not many people who can handle those circumstances.  I know I'm not strong enough.  I applaud those who can.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Very good point Lynda. Also, we have foster care in the US, despite its difficulties. Many other places simply have institutions (orphanages) without family structure.

mwhitson14

Lynda, while I see what you're saying, it just seems to me that we need to do what we can for our country's children first before we go into other countries. The children living in foster care/adoption homes now are the ones that are going to grow up in OUR society, and I would rather care for a child that I can make (hopefully) into a productive member of society, rather than one that just keeps getting kicked around the system til age 18 and probably won't end up being very productive. Not saying it's not possible, but maybe you get my point.

Sorry, major run on there.

JessAndTrav

Honestly, I think that where you adopt is something that only you and your spouse can truly decide.

I don't think that anyone should cast judgement on someone for where they decide to adopt their child from, because at the end of the day, the child being adopted is going to have a much better life.

So to me, it's not a national issue, it's a humanity issue. Adopting is helping a child in need, and wherever you feel led to find the child, you're still helping.

hayleymajayley

I think it's great that people want to adopt from the US instead of going foreign.

I believe one of the big reasons people do out of the country adoptions is that it can be a very long difficult process to adopt a US child, it can be a lot easier to adopt from somewhere else.

mwhitson14

hayley, what an adorable puppy. What kind of dog is that?

lyndausvi

and that is why I applaud those who can.

I think a lot of people need the gradual process needed in a 'normal' parenting situation.  They need to go through the infant, toddler, child, teenager stages in order to know how to move on to the next stage.

It takes a special person to skip the normal stages of parenthood. 

JessAndTrav

See, I think if I were to adopt, I wouldn't want an infant. I would want a slightly older child. Because that child knows what it's like to live without parents that love you, and will have the opportunity to have parents that love them.

To me, that would be a truly awesome experience. And I don't say "awesome" on a regular basis.

hayleymajayley

She's an Alaskan Klee Kai   AKA Mini Husky   She's only about 9 weeks in that pic, she's a little over a year old now. Just as cute, but a little bigger (and not usually wearing a silly pink sweater)