I'm going to be an aunt.

saschaduran

My 30-something year old SIL just announced she was 7 months pregnant.  Only because she had a car accident and she told the EMT that came to the scene that she was pregnant in front of her 14 yr old son who had no idea.  Nor did the entire family, even though she works at the family business a few days a week after being unable to find/maintain a job in the past 2 years.  And she is pissed that the family is gossiping about it because she is private.  

You can't be private when you are about to pop out another kid!!  Was she planning on telling anyone BEFORE the baby was born?  Is she mentally ill?

Brie2010

Holy crap, that is BSC.  I get not telling people for the first tri or whatever, but at some point, you have to kind of let the proverbial cat out of the bag.  Yikes.

Congrats?

ohwhynot

That's weird.  Is she married to your brother or to your brother in law (or is she single)?  What a strange situation.  I hope she and the baby are ok!

waltzingmatilda13

7 months and no one noticed! And yeah, that's pretty BSC.

tidetravel

The whole line about, " she hasn't been able to find/maintain a job in 2 years" sounds quite judgey to me.  If that's what everyone in the family thinks about her as a person, I probably wouldn't have wanted to tell anyone, either.

andyandhillary

I had two cousins (who are sisters) who only told their parents within days of giving birth.  One of them did it again and had a baby on the same date the next year and hid it.  W.  T.  F. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-going-aunt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5145635b-a46e-47a3-97a7-bdfca77e596cPost:d2387fd4-98d6-4bb8-9d9b-f479628ebcc2">Re: I'm going to be an aunt.</a>:
[QUOTE]The whole line about, " she hasn't been able to find/maintain a job in 2 years" sounds quite judgey to me.  If that's what everyone in the family thinks about her as a person, I probably wouldn't have wanted to tell anyone, either.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

Well, I'm sure she knows her better than we do, and if she has a myriad of reasons to be judgy, so be it.

saschaduran

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-going-aunt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5145635b-a46e-47a3-97a7-bdfca77e596cPost:d2387fd4-98d6-4bb8-9d9b-f479628ebcc2">Re: I'm going to be an aunt.</a>:
[QUOTE]The whole line about, " she hasn't been able to find/maintain a job in 2 years" sounds quite judgey to me.  If that's what everyone in the family thinks about her as a person, I probably wouldn't have wanted to tell anyone, either.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah I judge her.  Not for having a baby while single...I am a proponent of that obviously.</div><div>
</div><div>I judge her because just 2 months ago her and my husband had a blow out fight where they are not on speaking terms because she decided her 3 series BMW had a scratch and was getting old (5 years) and wanted him to cosign on a 5 series BMW.  So she thinks she is entitled to drive a $50,000 car while hardly having a job, not enough credit to get it on her own, and obviously she was already pregnant when she asked him!  </div><div>
</div><div>She is also the sister that slapped my best friend at my wedding and constantly makes remarks about stupid white girls so I have always had a little grudge.</div>

aragx6

Yeah, she sounds like a real piece of work.

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-going-aunt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5145635b-a46e-47a3-97a7-bdfca77e596cPost:52029c36-6ec2-4d4e-a755-d55564a2347e">Re: I'm going to be an aunt.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm going to be an aunt. : Well, I'm sure she knows her better than we do, and if she has a myriad of reasons to be judgy, so be it.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
I wasn't saying that Sacha didn't have a right to judge her.  All I was saying is that if her feelings are representative of the way the rest of the family feels about SIL, then she either didn't feel the need to tell them or was afraid/ashamed of what they might say.  She probably figured that she would save herself the 9 months of criticism/questions, and then hope that the baby was accepted once it was here.

That, or she's just plain BSC :)

ohwhynot

Might it also be possible that she hadn't yet decided if she was going to raise the baby herself?

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-going-aunt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5145635b-a46e-47a3-97a7-bdfca77e596cPost:8363d27d-a28a-456b-9ad7-4931bd630342">Re: I'm going to be an aunt.</a>:
[QUOTE]Might it also be possible that she hadn't yet decided if she was going to raise the baby herself?
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]
::taps nose, points at OWN::

saschaduran

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-going-aunt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5145635b-a46e-47a3-97a7-bdfca77e596cPost:8363d27d-a28a-456b-9ad7-4931bd630342">Re: I'm going to be an aunt.</a>:
[QUOTE]Might it also be possible that she hadn't yet decided if she was going to raise the baby herself?
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

<div>That actually did cross my mind.  It would be the most responsible decision she could make.  But I guess she did something similar with her first pregnancy.</div>

thesuninherhead

It sounds as though she's been in denial somewhat. 

 

This type of situation (hidden pregnancies) is a really big risk factor for postnatal difficulties. Does she have much support? I would want to keep a close eye on her and the baby once it is born, if I were in your family.

thesuninherhead

(presuming she keeps it- as others have said, perhaps she was not intending on doing so).