Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG)

cieren

I really *would* rather deal with a zombie apocalpyse than plan a wedding, I think. I'm super excited and happy to be getting married, but I'm just not the biggest wedding person on the planet, and the etiquette questions are starting make my head spin a bit.

I have a couple of big etiquette questions (and a whole host of little ones, but I'm going to ignore those for now):

First, though, I should probably explain logistics and the timeline for what Life Will Be Like during the month of April 2011:

I live in Connecticut, FI lives in South Carolina. I'm moving down there once we're married.

April 1st - lease on new apartment begins (in theory).
Somewhere between April 1st and 15th - I resign from my job.
April 15th(ish) - My father and I pack 99.9% of my things up and move them to the apartment in April, where FI helps us unpack.
April 30th - Wedding!!!!!!!! (in Connecticut)
May 1st - FI and I drive back to SC in my Honda Civic with my cat and whatever clothes I hadn't moved yet.

1) Is there ANY polite way to indicate to guests that if they wish to give us a present, to please mail it to, say...his parents' address in SC? I hate even the IDEA of mentioning gifts at all (we'll have a registry page on the website, but that's all), but...the logistics are a little weird.

2) FI's father is a Southern Baptist preacher; FMIL and the ladies of the church are throwing me a bridal shower next time I visit. My grandmother, aunt, and cousin all live in Florida - is there any graceful way to request they be invited because it's so much closer than CT? (If not - and I suspect not - totally okay.)

3) FI's family = Southern Baptist. They don't drink, so there's no alcohol at the wedding/reception. The reception will be over by 5. We wanted to do an after party where those who DO drink would be welcome to go out and celebrate with us. Is there a graceful way to invite people without offending those whom we know would be uncomfortable with the whole idea?

4) My roommate (and good friend) is dating an ex of mine. I don't know how to invite her without inviting HIM. And neither FI nor I is really thrilled about him being at the wedding, but we can't exactly say that we're not including plus ones, because we are, but NEITHER of us is okay with him being there. I'd feel bad not inviting her, but to be honest, I'd rather not invite her than have him be there. (Nothing against him - we're still friendly/friends, but FI and I don't want to invite him.)

5) Why am I not allowed to:
 A) Drive myself to my own wedding?! I'm actually rather upset about this one. (I'd change when I got there, make sure the hairdresser/etc. met me there and did all of that jazz on location)
Wear my old ratty sneakers under my floor length dress?
C) Carry a shotgun at my wedding in case the zombies show up or someone pisses me off? (Kidding! Mostly...)

Snippylynn

5) Why am I not allowed to:
 A) Drive myself to my own wedding?! I'm actually rather upset about this one. (I'd change when I got there, make sure the hairdresser/etc. met me there and did all of that jazz on location)
I'm only answering this one cause this is all I care about.  You can drive yourself to your wedding- who said you can't??  H and I drove up together actually.

Wear my old ratty sneakers under my floor length dress?
Because it's a wedding dress, not jeans. 

C) Carry a shotgun at my wedding in case the zombies show up or someone pisses me off? (Kidding! Mostly...)
You can, but then I think your guests would get the wrong idea why you're getting married.

marissa_claire

I only got to question number one, to which I say NO you cannot ask people to mail presents to that address.  What you can do is have that be the address on file with the registry, and when people buy online they should automatically ship there.

For future reference, please have one question per post, unless two questions go hand in hand.  You'll get a lot more responses that way.  Most people carefully back out when they see a post this long.

FutureMrsTR

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-etiquette-seems-harder-zombie-killinglong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:51597f86-e7eb-4637-9ec8-d06118d4dd14Post:bd1d25bb-54f9-405f-9383-ee2e7beabe93">Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG)</a>:
[QUOTE]1) Is there ANY polite way to indicate to guests that if they wish to give us a present, to please mail it to, say...his parents' address in SC? I hate even the IDEA of mentioning gifts at all (we'll have a registry page on the website, but that's all), but...the logistics are a little weird.
<strong>Wherever you register, put that address as your shipping address and make sure all of your parents know to mention that if someone asks where you're registered or asks for your address.</strong>

2) FI's father is a Southern Baptist preacher; FMIL and the ladies of the church are throwing me a bridal shower next time I visit. My grandmother, aunt, and cousin all live in Florida - is there any graceful way to request they be invited because it's so much closer than CT? (If not - and I suspect not - totally okay.)  <strong>I'd only say something if they ask for your input on the guest list.</strong>

3) FI's family = Southern Baptist. They don't drink, so there's no alcohol at the wedding/reception. The reception will be over by 5. We wanted to do an after party where those who DO drink would be welcome to go out and celebrate with us. Is there a graceful way to invite people without offending those whom we know would be uncomfortable with the whole idea?
<strong>I'm sure they know that somewhere in the world there are people who drink.  Unless you chain them to you and pour shots down their throats, I don't see how it would offend them if people are going out after the wedding.  Maybe include a card in with the invitations, but be careful how you word it if you're not hosting (read:  paying) for this after-party.</strong>

4) My roommate (and good friend) is dating an ex of mine. I don't know how to invite her without inviting HIM. And neither FI nor I is really thrilled about him being at the wedding, but we can't exactly say that we're not including plus ones, because we are, but NEITHER of us is okay with him being there. I'd feel bad not inviting her, but to be honest, <em>I'd rather not invite her than have him be there</em>. (Nothing against him - we're still friendly/friends, but FI and I don't want to invite him.)
<strong>Invite them both or don't invite her (I think you already have your answer, though).  And your invites are a ways away, she may not even still be dating him when you send them.</strong>

5) Why am I not allowed to:  A) Drive myself to my own wedding?! I'm actually rather upset about this one. (I'd change when I got there, make sure the hairdresser/etc. met me there and did all of that jazz on location) <strong>I'm not sure that's actually a rule.  </strong>B) Wear my old ratty sneakers under my floor length dress?  <strong>Eh, I wouldn't do it, but again...not really a rule.  </strong>C) Carry a shotgun at my wedding in case the zombies show up or someone pisses me off? (Kidding! Mostly...)
Posted by cieren[/QUOTE]

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-etiquette-seems-harder-zombie-killinglong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51597f86-e7eb-4637-9ec8-d06118d4dd14Post:364a0a2b-f996-44cc-b545-d00042abe988">Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG)</a>:
[QUOTE]I only got to question number one, to which I say NO you cannot ask people to mail presents to that address.  What you can do is have that be the address on file with the registry, and when people buy online they should automatically ship there. For future reference, please have one question per post, unless two questions go hand in hand.  You'll get a lot more responses that way.  Most people carefully back out when they see a post this long.
Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]

Dear god no.  I don't want 500 posts from her all about the same thing.  The people who are going to take the time to answer this are people who actually know/care about it.

louisvillebride21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-etiquette-seems-harder-zombie-killinglong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:51597f86-e7eb-4637-9ec8-d06118d4dd14Post:bd1d25bb-54f9-405f-9383-ee2e7beabe93">Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG)</a>:
[QUOTE]I really *would* rather deal with a zombie apocalpyse than plan a wedding, I think. I'm super excited and happy to be getting married, but I'm just not the biggest wedding person on the planet, and the etiquette questions are starting make my head spin a bit. I have a couple of big etiquette questions (and a whole host of little ones, but I'm going to ignore those for now): First, though, I should probably explain logistics and the timeline for what Life Will Be Like during the month of April 2011: I live in Connecticut, FI lives in South Carolina. I'm moving down there once we're married. April 1st - lease on new apartment begins (in theory). Somewhere between April 1st and 15th - I resign from my job. April 15th(ish) - My father and I pack 99.9% of my things up and move them to the apartment in April, where FI helps us unpack. April 30th - Wedding!!!!!!!! (in Connecticut) May 1st - FI and I drive back to SC in my Honda Civic with my cat and whatever clothes I hadn't moved yet.

1) Is there ANY polite way to indicate to guests that if they wish to give us a present, to please mail it to, say...his parents' address in SC? I hate even the IDEA of mentioning gifts at all (we'll have a registry page on the website, but that's all), but...the logistics are a little weird.
<strong>The stores have an option of where to ship to. That's all I know to take care of that. Word of mouth works really well too. </strong>
 
2) FI's father is a Southern Baptist preacher; FMIL and the ladies of the church are throwing me a bridal shower next time I visit. My grandmother, aunt, and cousin all live in Florida - is there any graceful way to request they be invited because it's so much closer than CT? (If not - and I suspect not - totally okay.)
<strong>I think you're going to be family. I would just ask. I know my FMIL ask me to invite whomever I wanted to, especially family. </strong>
 
3) FI's family = Southern Baptist. They don't drink, so there's no alcohol at the wedding/reception. The reception will be over by 5. We wanted to do an after party where those who DO drink would be welcome to go out and celebrate with us. Is there a graceful way to invite people without offending those whom we know would be uncomfortable with the whole idea?
<strong>Fuckem. If they don't like it, they don't have to go. </strong>
 
4) My roommate (and good friend) is dating an ex of mine. I don't know how to invite her without inviting HIM. And neither FI nor I is really thrilled about him being at the wedding, but we can't exactly say that we're not including plus ones, because we are, but NEITHER of us is okay with him being there. I'd feel bad not inviting her, but to be honest, I'd rather not invite her than have him be there. (Nothing against him - we're still friendly/friends, but FI and I don't want to invite him.)
<strong>You have to invite them together; they are a social unit. But no, you don't HAVE to invite her.
</strong>
5) Why am I not allowed to:  
A) Drive myself to my own wedding?! I'm actually rather upset about this one. (I'd change when I got there, make sure the hairdresser/etc. met me there and did all of that jazz on location)
<strong>Why can't you? I did. I drove all around town with my MOH and got everything done and then put my  dress on at the church. </strong> 

B) Wear my old ratty sneakers under my floor length dress?
<strong>Again, why not? This is one tiem where it's not bratty to say IT'S YOUR DAY, DO WHAT YOU WANT. </strong>
 
C) Carry a shotgun at my wedding in case the zombies show up or someone pisses me off? (Kidding! Mostly...)
<strong>DON'T FORGET TO DOUBLE TAP!</strong>
Posted by cieren[/QUOTE]

ohwhynot

Of course you can drive yourself to your wedding - who on earth says you can't?

Wear comfortable shoes.  Not ratty shoes, but comfortable, pretty ones.  They exist.  Find them. 

Just because your fi's family doesn't drink doesn't mean that you have to have a dry reception.  

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-etiquette-seems-harder-zombie-killinglong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:51597f86-e7eb-4637-9ec8-d06118d4dd14Post:bd1d25bb-54f9-405f-9383-ee2e7beabe93">Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG)</a>:
[QUOTE]I really *would* rather deal with a zombie apocalpyse than plan a wedding, I think. I'm super excited and happy to be getting married, but I'm just not the biggest wedding person on the planet, and the etiquette questions are starting make my head spin a bit. I have a couple of big etiquette questions (and a whole host of little ones, but I'm going to ignore those for now): First, though, I should probably explain logistics and the timeline for what Life Will Be Like during the month of April 2011: I live in Connecticut, FI lives in South Carolina. I'm moving down there once we're married. April 1st - lease on new apartment begins (in theory). Somewhere between April 1st and 15th - I resign from my job. April 15th(ish) - My father and I pack 99.9% of my things up and move them to the apartment in April, where FI helps us unpack. April 30th - Wedding!!!!!!!! (in Connecticut) May 1st - FI and I drive back to SC in my Honda Civic with my cat and whatever clothes I hadn't moved yet.

1) Is there ANY polite way to indicate to guests that if they wish to give us a present, to please mail it to, say...his parents' address in SC? I hate even the IDEA of mentioning gifts at all (we'll have a registry page on the website, but that's all), but...the logistics are a little weird.
<strong>You can spread that through word of mouth.  Most people will know you are moving and will do monetary gifts anyways.  That's what happened for H and I.  If you have a wedding website, you could put the shipping address on there.</strong>

2) FI's father is a Southern Baptist preacher; FMIL and the ladies of the church are throwing me a bridal shower next time I visit. My grandmother, aunt, and cousin all live in Florida - is there any graceful way to request they be invited because it's so much closer than CT? (If not - and I suspect not - totally okay.)
<strong>Would they even be willing to travel for a shower?  I didn't invite any OOT people to my shower because it seems too gift grabby to me.  But if they ask you for a list of who you would like invited, then yes I think you can put them on there.</strong>

3) FI's family = Southern Baptist. They don't drink, so there's no alcohol at the wedding/reception. The reception will be over by 5. We wanted to do an after party where those who DO drink would be welcome to go out and celebrate with us. Is there a graceful way to invite people without offending those whom we know would be uncomfortable with the whole idea?
<strong>Spread it through word of mouth that you are going out after.  You don't have to say that you are specifically going out drinking.</strong>

4) My roommate (and good friend) is dating an ex of mine. I don't know how to invite her without inviting HIM. And neither FI nor I is really thrilled about him being at the wedding, but we can't exactly say that we're not including plus ones, because we are, but NEITHER of us is okay with him being there. I'd feel bad not inviting her, but to be honest, I'd rather not invite her than have him be there. (Nothing against him - we're still friendly/friends, but FI and I don't want to invite him.)
<strong>How long have they been dating?  If you are roommates I assume you spend some time with them as a couple.  There was just a huge thread on inviting ex's yesterday.   If they are serious you can't exclude him, and I think it's really shitty of you to not invite your roommate and good friend just to keep him off the guest list.  </strong>

5) Why am I not allowed to:  
A) Drive myself to my own wedding?! I'm actually rather upset about this one. (I'd change when I got there, make sure the hairdresser/etc. met me there and did all of that jazz on location) <strong>You can do this.  Limos are not necessary.

</strong> B) Wear my old ratty sneakers under my floor length dress?  <strong>Technically its not that you're not allowed to, I don't know why you would want to.  Some brides choose to wear comfy shoes, or even sneakers, but old ratty ones just sounds ridiculous to me.  And trust me, people will see them when you walk.
</strong> 
C) Carry a shotgun at my wedding in case the zombies show up or someone pisses me off? (Kidding! Mostly...)
Posted by cieren[/QUOTE]

redheadfsu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-etiquette-seems-harder-zombie-killinglong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:51597f86-e7eb-4637-9ec8-d06118d4dd14Post:bd1d25bb-54f9-405f-9383-ee2e7beabe93">Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG)</a>:
[QUOTE]
1) Is there ANY polite way to indicate to guests that if they wish to give us a present, to please mail it to, say...his parents' address in SC? I hate even the IDEA of mentioning gifts at all (we'll have a registry page on the website, but that's all), but...the logistics are a little weird.
<strong>No,  have your registry ship to the address you want  & spread via word of mouth if guests ask. </strong>

2) FI's father is a Southern Baptist preacher; FMIL and the ladies of the church are throwing me a bridal shower next time I visit. My grandmother, aunt, and cousin all live in Florida - is there any graceful way to request they be invited because it's so much closer than CT? (If not - and I suspect not - totally okay.)

<strong>Only if they ask you for a guest list for the shower. Otherwise nope.
</strong>
3) FI's family = Southern Baptist. They don't drink, so there's no alcohol at the wedding/reception. The reception will be over by 5. We wanted to do an after party where those who DO drink would be welcome to go out and celebrate with us. Is there a graceful way to invite people without offending those whom we know would be uncomfortable with the whole idea?

<strong>A formal invite (or insert into your wedding invite) is fine, but you would need to pay/ host. If you do not want to pay, then spread via word of mouth at the end of the reception.
</strong>
4) My roommate (and good friend) is dating an ex of mine. I don't know how to invite her without inviting HIM. And neither FI nor I is really thrilled about him being at the wedding, but we can't exactly say that we're not including plus ones, because we are, but NEITHER of us is okay with him being there. I'd feel bad not inviting her, but to be honest, I'd rather not invite her than have him be there. (Nothing against him - we're still friendly/friends, but FI and I don't want to invite him.)

<strong>No. They are dating invite both or neither.

</strong>
5) Why am I not allowed to:  

A) Drive myself to my own wedding?! I'm actually rather upset about this one. (I'd change when I got there, make sure the hairdresser/etc. met me there and did all of that jazz on location) <strong>You can drive yourself. I have no idea why you think this.
</strong>
B) Wear my old ratty sneakers under my floor length dress? <strong>You can, but you are in a formal dress, so formal shoes are what is proper fashion.
</strong>

C) Carry a shotgun at my wedding in case the zombies show up or someone pisses me off? (Kidding! Mostly...)
<strong>Haha

</strong>Posted by cieren[/QUOTE]

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Either don't register, do a small registry with pack-able stuff, register at a store like BB&B where you can return the items then re-buy them with credit in SC, and/or put his parents' address on file with the registry as a "ship to" address.

After party - I think if you issue formal invitations you should 1) be paying for it and 2) invite everyone. The non-drinkers have the option to decline. Otherwise, I'd keep it casual/word of mouth. "Since the wedding ends at 5, we're going to grab some dinner, then go to X bar around 8. Feel free to join us!"

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Oh, as for the ex - if you'd rather NOT have him there than have her there, then sorry, but you'll have to just not invite her.

marissa_claire

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-etiquette-seems-harder-zombie-killinglong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51597f86-e7eb-4637-9ec8-d06118d4dd14Post:93e3dcd7-a717-43bb-98c3-1bf08c96dca9">Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG) : Dear god no.  I don't want 500 posts from her all about the same thing.  The people who are going to take the time to answer this are people who actually know/care about it.
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]<div>
<div>I still disagree.  If she would have taken the time to do that she also would have put some of these on the correct board - i.e. the registry q on the registry & gifts board.  

</div></div>

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-etiquette-seems-harder-zombie-killinglong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51597f86-e7eb-4637-9ec8-d06118d4dd14Post:796c644b-3d28-4493-bb8b-9ce01be8f501">Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG) : I still disagree.  If she would have taken the time to do that she also would have put some of these on the correct board - i.e. the registry q on the registry & gifts board.  
Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]

Annnnd yet... she's still managing to get the right answers.   When did you become the mod here?  I must have missed the announcement.  We really don't care, tbh, if it's "supposed" to be here or not.

LDYGTR13

1) Is there ANY polite way to indicate to guests that if they wish to give us a present, to please mail it to, say...his parents' address in SC? I hate even the IDEA of mentioning gifts at all (we'll have a registry page on the website, but that's all), but...the logistics are a little weird.  Honestly, I'd make sure the shipping on the registry pages are to you FIL's - I wouldn't make mention that you want things shipped any certain place.

2) FI's father is a Southern Baptist preacher; FMIL and the ladies of the church are throwing me a bridal shower next time I visit. My grandmother, aunt, and cousin all live in Florida - is there any graceful way to request they be invited because it's so much closer than CT? (If not - and I suspect not - totally okay.)  I don't see the problem with that...I told the people throwing my shower who to invite...I didn't have a shower with "the ladies of the church" though lol

3) FI's family = Southern Baptist. They don't drink, so there's no alcohol at the wedding/reception. The reception will be over by 5. We wanted to do an after party where those who DO drink would be welcome to go out and celebrate with us. Is there a graceful way to invite people without offending those whom we know would be uncomfortable with the whole idea? I would do this by word of mouth. I definitely wouldn't do anything formal for this.

4) My roommate (and good friend) is dating an ex of mine. I don't know how to invite her without inviting HIM. And neither FI nor I is really thrilled about him being at the wedding, but we can't exactly say that we're not including plus ones, because we are, but NEITHER of us is okay with him being there. I'd feel bad not inviting her, but to be honest, I'd rather not invite her than have him be there. (Nothing against him - we're still friendly/friends, but FI and I don't want to invite him.)  I have a feeling that she knows how you feel about him...you can't force her not to bring him, but she should be respectful of your feelings. Not sure of the E on this one - if it was me I'd probably be rude and say "we love you, we don't love him...you love us, please don't bring him...please?" I'd probably also include brownies. Everyone loves brownies (okay okay, I'm joking about the brownies...maybe)

5) Why am I not allowed to:
 A) Drive myself to my own wedding?! I'm actually rather upset about this one. (I'd change when I got there, make sure the hairdresser/etc. met me there and did all of that jazz on location)  I don't see why you can't...would your then H be driving himself too? Wouldn't want to leave cars at the venue...
Wear my old ratty sneakers under my floor length dress? Amoro is right - you're wearing a formal gown...not jeans. But I mean...go for it if you really want to (I doubt you will)
 C) Carry a shotgun at my wedding in case the zombies show up or someone pisses me off? (Kidding! Mostly...) Never know when the zombie apocolypse will happen. Bring that gun, girl. j/k....

redheadfsu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-etiquette-seems-harder-zombie-killinglong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:51597f86-e7eb-4637-9ec8-d06118d4dd14Post:0717fb6b-7f9d-404c-ad9c-d147130c3269">Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG)</a>:
[QUOTE]Either don't register, do a small registry with pack-able stuff, register at a store like BB&B where you can return the items then re-buy them with credit in SC, and/or put his parents' address on file with the registry as a "ship to" address. After party - I think if you issue formal invitations you should 1) be paying for it and 2) <strong>invite everyone. The non-drinkers have the option to decline.</strong> Otherwise, I'd keep it casual/word of mouth. "Since the wedding ends at 5, we're going to grab some dinner, then go to X bar around 8. Feel free to join us!"
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

I usually agree, but I have some crazy southern baptists (family, but distant) that would be mad and decline the whole wedding because of the after hours drinking.  So I can see why this would be done.

marissa_claire

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-etiquette-seems-harder-zombie-killinglong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51597f86-e7eb-4637-9ec8-d06118d4dd14Post:23e6dd71-2b39-4f12-8092-99379d27c233">Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG) : Annnnd yet... she's still managing to get the right answers.   When did you become the mod here?  I must have missed the announcement.  We really don't care, tbh, if it's "supposed" to be here or not.
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

<div>Not looking for an argument, just half the time someone posts something ridiculously long with ten questions we get a ton of responses that are just "oh wow I can't even look at this."  It is good advice for the future that she not post one huge thread with a ton of questions.  </div>

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-etiquette-seems-harder-zombie-killinglong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:51597f86-e7eb-4637-9ec8-d06118d4dd14Post:b56a31d0-0af2-455a-9611-f4dee73cac69">Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG) : Not looking for an argument, just half the time someone posts something ridiculously long with ten questions we get a ton of responses that are just "oh wow I can't even look at this."  It is good advice for the future that she not post one huge thread with a ton of questions.  
Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]

It's annoying to read, yes.  But I would rather have one long post of questions from the same person than all different ones.  And a long post of questions is completely different than a wall of text about one issue.  Maybe other boards want it broken up, but I think the general consensus on E is to do it this way.

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-etiquette-seems-harder-zombie-killinglong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51597f86-e7eb-4637-9ec8-d06118d4dd14Post:b56a31d0-0af2-455a-9611-f4dee73cac69">Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG) : Not looking for an argument, just half the time someone posts something ridiculously long with ten questions we get a ton of responses that are just "oh wow I can't even look at this."  It is good advice for the future that she not post one huge thread with a ton of questions.  
Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]

Are you sure? Cause it seems like you are.  And people get those responses when they are long winded and don't space the questions or make any sense at all. 

marissa_claire

I guess I'm missing something then because it seems like everytime someone has a really long post there's a lot of people who complain about it.  

Beachy730

Like I said, a wall of text about one issue is one thing.  A long post with different questions, all spaced out and properly numbered is totally different. 

doctabroccoli

Everyone else pretty much covered it, besides that I like the thread title.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-etiquette-seems-harder-zombie-killinglong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51597f86-e7eb-4637-9ec8-d06118d4dd14Post:a8057c25-52bc-4f32-8e5a-dec94b7a3193">Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG)</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I'm missing something then because it seems like everytime someone has a really long post there's a lot of people who complain about it.  
Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]

This girl used numbers and paragraphs, though. And even with the wall o' text posts, most people who make it through and comment on the wall o' text still respond to some of the points. Example, "Wow, paragraphs are your friend. That was hard to read. But here's what I think..."

Rosie109

I am giving any zombies a plus one, unless they are in a committed relationship.

louisvillebride21

Yeah, you are missing it. This isn't one long post about one stupid issue. It's several legit questions. It's broken up into paragraphs and she's speaking real english, not txt speak. She's done everything right here. Geeze, lay off.

Snippylynn

I'm glad I'm not the only one who was wonder WTF MC was talking about. 

georgia_bride09

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-etiquette-seems-harder-zombie-killinglong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:51597f86-e7eb-4637-9ec8-d06118d4dd14Post:a8057c25-52bc-4f32-8e5a-dec94b7a3193">Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG)</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I'm missing something then because it seems like everytime someone has a really long post there's a lot of people who complain about it.  
Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]

You seem to be the only who A) complained about her list, and B) didn't answer all her questions. I guess you are missing something.

marissa_claire

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-etiquette-seems-harder-zombie-killinglong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51597f86-e7eb-4637-9ec8-d06118d4dd14Post:d6c5dcf7-b032-42fc-82f4-41d498ec980d">Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG) : This girl used numbers and paragraphs, though. And even with the wall o' text posts, most people who make it through and comment on the wall o' text still respond to some of the points. Example, "Wow, paragraphs are your friend. That was hard to read. But here's what I think..."
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I'm not comparing to a wall of text.  I've seen people come into a post just like this one with ten questions and just say "this is too much to read."  In those cases, I think she's forfeiting that person's expertise and advice.  I see that not everyone agrees because you might be patient enough to read it, and no, I'm not advocating that she posts ten right in a row on E.  In my opinion, though, she would get more appropriate and detailed answers to her questions if she put them on the proper boards.  People give yes/no answers or one line in a string of q's like this.  </div>

cieren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-etiquette-seems-harder-zombie-killinglong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:51597f86-e7eb-4637-9ec8-d06118d4dd14Post:97f4a53a-c61d-4b42-9273-1b18b95e6fa5">Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG) : I usually agree, but I have some crazy southern baptists (family, but distant) that would be mad and decline the whole wedding because of the after hours drinking.  So I can see why this would be done.
Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]

That's exactly what I'm worried about, so I think it's probably going to have to be a word-of-mouth, somewhat hush-hush type of thing.

As to the ex situation, *I* could live with him being at the wedding although I'd be less than thrilled. FI, however, is exceptionally not okay with it - between actively not liking the guy and the fact that he's an ex, it's just really not cool with him.

The sneakers were (mostly) a joke. ;) The driving myself thing...I've received massive amounts of static from EVERYONE on that desire, and I hate to hurt anyone's feelings but I'm kind of an introvert and really feel I'm going to need that time to myself to just kind of chill out.

Sorry about the super-long-post-of-doom; I owe you all chocolate for reading it. ;)

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-etiquette-seems-harder-zombie-killinglong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:51597f86-e7eb-4637-9ec8-d06118d4dd14Post:20127c36-66c1-4bc7-81cb-28ad3cde1734">Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG) : I'm not comparing to a wall of text.  I've seen people come into a post just like this one with ten questions and just say "this is too much to read."  In those cases, I think she's forfeiting that person's expertise and advice.  I see that not everyone agrees because you might be patient enough to read it, and no, I'm not advocating that she posts ten right in a row on E.  In my opinion, though, she would get more appropriate and detailed answers to her questions if she put them on the proper boards.  People give yes/no answers or one line in a string of q's like this.  
Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]

Did you see the almost 10 responses we gave that answered each question in detail and just quoted her OP?

ETA: Okay it was 5, but still.

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-etiquette-seems-harder-zombie-killinglong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51597f86-e7eb-4637-9ec8-d06118d4dd14Post:20127c36-66c1-4bc7-81cb-28ad3cde1734">Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG) : I'm not comparing to a wall of text.  I've seen people come into a post just like this one with ten questions and just say "this is too much to read."  In those cases, I think she's forfeiting that person's expertise and advice.  I see that not everyone agrees because you might be patient enough to read it, and no, I'm not advocating that she posts ten right in a row on E.  In my opinion, though, she would get more appropriate and detailed answers to her questions if she put them on the proper boards.  People give yes/no answers or one line in a string of q's like this.  
Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]
Dude. STFU.  You're the only one stringing this out.  SHHHHHH.Goddamn.

marissa_claire

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-etiquette-seems-harder-zombie-killinglong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51597f86-e7eb-4637-9ec8-d06118d4dd14Post:88ec18f1-5946-4be3-8d4b-62c70ea10d69">Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding etiquette seems harder than zombie killing...(LONG) : Did you see the almost 10 responses we gave that answered each question in detail and just quoted her OP?
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I did, but again... I'm advising her that in the future if she has a question about what shoes to wear, to go to attire and take care of it there.  I understand that not everyone agrees with me.  I understand that some people will answer her.  But I also think she is losing some potentially good advice by posting in this format.

</div>